Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 25

Go get your gun.  Seriously.  After you take a look at today's issue of "Foods That Will Make You Fat", you will wish you had one, or use the one you got.

I'm going to say this only once.  That bitch, Paula Dean needs to go to prison.  She is going to kill everyone on this planet with her recipe ideas.  She's the reason we have all these idiots coming up with these insane concoctions.  Lady's Brunch Burger, really?

Lady's Brunch Burger

She's become a star on the Food Network and has been responsible for millions of lives.  This bitch needs to go to prison.  Her name is Paula Dean.  Okay, so I lied, I said it twice.  This woman who introduced us to heart attacks and strokes at an early age is not your average mother or grandmother.  Look at that yummy sandwich up there, isn't that a sandwich fit for a Lady?  Hell NO!  A lady wouldn't touch that if she had an ounce of class left in her.  A hamburger patty topped with a fried egg & bacon, in-between 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Are you kidding me? Does it make your mouth water? Ugh.. I'm done with her.

Surprise Cake

Doesn't this cake look delicious!  It looks like a yummy pineapple upside down cake, doesn't it?  Zoom in a little closer....  yeah, you see what I see!!!  SHRIMP and PIGGIES!   It's 2 layers of yellow cake with a sweet mayo frosting covered in ham and topped with shrimp, pineapple, mandarin oranges and a cherry.  The only good thing about this hot mess of cake..... it's only made in Sweden.  Supposedly it's very popular on kid's birthdays over there.  Now I don't know which country's worse.  And it's not called a surprise cake, it's called a Smorgastarta aka shrimp and ham cake.

The Atlanta Exit Wound

This is when you get your gun.  Do it now, because when I tell you what's in this hot mess of a pot, you will die regardless.  The bottle of hot sauce I can deal with, but when you say 4 packages of cream cheese, a bottle of blue cheese dressing (yes, a whole bottle), and 6 chopped chicken breasts, I.....

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 15

I don't even know where to begin with today's issue of "Foods That Will Make You Fat."  Geez, really?  What the hell? Do people actually eat this crap?  I've been asking myself this same question for the past 13 issues, and I still can't get an answer.  All I know is, people have issues.

The Cornhole

How does one eat a cornhole?  Really?  How on God's green earth do I eat this thing?  Am I supposed to eat it from the outside in?  I don't give a shit, it's disgusting!  Not sure what all it consists of, but from what I can see, it looks like a corn on the cob, some hot dogs, cheese and some type of meat loaf breading around it.  Yeah, this will make you fat.

The Bacon Mug

Anyone who has the time to make a mug out of bacon has got too much on their hands.  Are people actually getting paid to make this thing?  I'm not even going to ask what the hell is in that mug.

Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheddar Burgers

I'm going to say that Krispy Kreme is in no way responsible for this mess, because if they are, you have every right to sue their asses. Let's see...you have a glazed doughnut, which has a gazillion calories and fat, a thick beef patty, fried bacon and some cheesy cheddar cheese.  Yeah, it's a hot mess, if you ask me.