Post Secret Fridays - Issue 113

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

 

On Back of Card:  "sometimes the darkness is too dark"

 

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Quoted - Winona Ryder on Being Bullied in High School

“I was wearing an old Salvation Army shop boy’s suit. As I went to the bathroom I heard people saying, ‘Hey, faggot.’ They slammed my head into a locker. I fell to the ground and they started to kick the shit out of me. I had to have stitches. The school kicked me out – not the bullies. Years later, I went to a coffee shop and I ran into one of the girls who’d kicked me, and she said, ‘Winona, Winona, can I have your autograph?’ And I said, ‘Do you remember me? Remember in seventh grade you beat up that kid?’ And she said, ‘Kind of.’ And I said, ‘That was me. Go fuck yourself.’”
  
                        – Winona Ryder on being bullied in High School.

A Very Special Moment - Issue #3: To This Day

I don't even know where to begin with this, except to say it's pretty darn powerful. You will more than likely shed a tear, if not, that's okay - the message came across to you.  

"To This Day" is a narrated poem by Shane Koyczan that shows "the profound and lasting impact that bullying can have on an individual."

Dozens of collaborators from around the world helped to bring this piece to life. Learn more about them and the project at http://www.tothisdayproject.com.

"I'm truly at a loss for words as this video has just made this issue of "A Very Special Moment", a very special moment!"

- Peter R. Flores Jr. aka Blade7184

San Angelo & The Grape Creek Bully

I saw this video posted on my Facebook news feed yesterday afternoon and it got me really upset.  It makes me sick that some people think bullying is okay.  IT IS NOT!

The video was posted by Andrea Disman, the boy's mother.  She clearly was at odds at what to do, but with the help of her friends and family she is moving forward and pressing charges.  I'm so fucking happy!!!  Ugh.  Excuse my French, but when you see the video you will understand.  If this was your child what would you do?  Sit around?  I don't think so.

I'm sharing this, because it just happened the day before yesterday in San Angelo, Texas.  San Angelo is located northwest of Austin.

In my humble opinion, everyone in that locker room who did not help this boy should be prosecuted!! Even the one who recorded it and thought it was funny.  This is an utter shame. The initial report  was done yesterday!  Way to go Andrea - you have supporters!

Quoted - President Barack Obama for the It Gets Better Campaign

"Like all of you, I was shocked and saddened by the deaths of several young people who were bullied and taunted for being gay and who ultimately took their own lives. As a parent of two daughters, it breaks my heart. It's something that just shouldn't happen in this country. Now we've got to dispel this myth that bullying is just a normal rite of passage, that it's some inevitable part of growing up. It's not. We have an obligation to ensure that our schools are safe for all of our kids. And to every young person out there, you need to know that if you're in trouble, there are caring adults who can help. I don't know what it's like to be picked on for being gay, but I do know what it's like to grow up feeling that sometimes you don't belong. It's tough. And for a lot of kids the sense of being alone or apart, I know it can just wear on you. And when you're teased or bullied it can seem like somehow you have brought it on yourself for being different or for not fitting in with everybody else. But what I want to say is this: You are not alone, you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't do anything to deserve being bullied, and there's a whole world waiting for you filled with possibilities. There are people out there that love you and care about you just the way you are. And so, if you ever feel like because of bullying, because of what people are saying, that you are getting down on yourself, you've got to make sure to reach out to people you trust;  whether it's your parents, teachers, or folks that you know care about you just the way you are. You've got to reach out to them. Don't feel like you are in this by yourself. The other thing you need to know is things will get better, and more than that, with time you are going to see that your differences are a source of pride and a source of strength. You'll look back on the struggles you've faced with compassion and wisdom, and that's not just going to serve you, but it'll help you get involved and make this country a better place. It will mean that you'll be more likely to help fight discrimination, not just against LGBT Americans but discrimination in all its forms. It means you'll be more likely to understand personally and deeply why it's so important that as adults we set an example in our own lives and that we treat everybody with respect, that we are able to see the world through other people's eyes and stand in their shoes, that we never lose sight of what binds us together. As a nation, we're founded on the belief that all of us are equal and each of us deserves the freedom to pursue our own version of happiness, to make the most of our talents, to speak our minds, to not fit in; most of all, to be true to ourselves. That's the freedom that enriches all of us. That's what America is all about, and every day it gets better."

- President Barack Obama for the It Gets Better Campaign

Gay and Straight Teens Collaborate in the Making of a Lady Gaga's "Hair" Music Video

I get emotional over things like this, because it hits so close to home.  I remember growing up being bullied and tormented by the people I thought were my friends.  And here comes a classroom full of straight teens and gay teens showing us that "It Gets Better".  Thank you so much kiddos!

As most of us know, growing up isn't easy. Countless young people are faced with daily tormenting and bullying, causing them to feel isolated and alone. This is an especially harsh reality for LGBT kids and teens, who often hide their sexuality for fear of bullying. In many instances, gay and lesbian adolescents are taunted, sometimes even tortured, simply for being themselves.

In support of the It Gets Better Project, Colton James Boettcher's artistic vision takes shape in the form of a music video interpretation of Lady Gaga's song, Hair. Hair is about being yourself, being true to who you are; as the song exemplifies, "you are the spirit of your hair, it's all the glory you bare", YOU are your #hair.

Credits after the jump...

Documentaries To Watch: The Bully Project

If you don't want to read any of what I have to say, at least view the trailer down below.

Sometimes I just want to go back to a school, ANY school, and be some kind of instructor, teacher, counselor, or monitor that just watches out for these kids. I can see how spotting every bullying situation could be difficult for teachers and administrators alike, but at the same time I was harassed for years consistently and not once, NOT ONCE, did any teacher or administrator do a fucking thing about it.  Until my mom forced them to.

Over a period of four years, 5-8 grade, at lunch, in class, in the locker room, at physical education, in the halls.... there wasn't a single place except maybe the bathroom where I wasn't tormented. This behavior in school will never stop until something is done. Now that I think about it, only you can stop someone from bullying another person when you witness it in action. Trying to handle it through force or punishment isn't possible. Only through educating the students as early as kindergarten on why bullying is wrong and hurtful will be the only way to stop all this pain.

These kids need to be taught how horrible it can feel to be on the other end of the jokes, harassment and ridicule, but also learn how easy and misguided one can be to join in on the fun - taking part without realizing the damage they have done.

Teach them the power of words and how much more of an impact they can sometimes be than a fist to the face. Words can stop bullying and create new friends, yet still have the ability to cause unimaginable pain depending on how they're used.

Show them how being smart or small or different or gay is not the equivalent to being a freak, something wrong or a very bad thing. Being unique is a gift. It's special because you're not like everyone else. You're you, and you're great just for being who you are. It's a message that isn't shared enough today.

But no matter what is done in the schools to teach our kids to be kind to each other, as long as they continue to see horrible examples of bigotry, hate and abuse set by our politicians, pastors and parents, there will never be an end to the suffering and fear some kids face every day they go to school. This can be changed. It can no longer be accepted as a rite of passage or child's play, and to anyone out there that would dare call the protection of a gay child from anti-gay rhetoric "freedom of religion" or "anti-Christian bigotry"...... to hell with you.

I know this is a very inappropriate stance to take and is the absolute worst way to try and bring all people together to stop this epidemic....but seriously...to hell with you! Open your mind, your heart and your eyes and see that these kids are dying right in front of us. They are innocent and have done nothing to deserve this, but when you hide behind your religious beliefs to cloak your hatred and bigotry you are the bullies. You are the instigators. You are the cause of this pain and suffering that no loving God would condone, and you are an accessory to murder if you do not change your words and actions that have farther reaching consequences then you could ever imagine. Stop worrying about the life of an unborn fetus and start caring about the child that cries himself to sleep every night because he knows he's different, he knows he can't change, and all he wants is the torture and pain to stop so that he can truly be loved just the way he is. Will you love him for who he is or condemn him for being a sinner? What would Jesus really do.

We all have the power to stop this ongoing tragedy. Whether it be taking action to enact anti-bullying laws, speaking to your school administrators or simply having a conversation with your child. I beg all of you to do something, anything, to try and attempt to eradicate this evil that has been going on in our schools for way too long. I can't say this enough but these kids are dying, and unless we act, more will continue to have their lives cut short by this catastrophe that is bullying. Don't be the parent standing over the grave of your 12 year old child. Don't be the school official that didn't intervene and say something. Don't be the person that talks about religious values when you can't even comprehend what they truly mean. Don't be a bully and don't be a bystander that does nothing. Be a hero. It's definitely not an easy task and it never will be, but someone has to do it. There is no Superman. There is only you and your ability to love and be kind to others, over an easy choice to hate. You have the power. Make the right decision. Stop bullying today.

Almost a year ago, my partner Peter posted this trailer on his blog, Blade 7184 that moved me beyond words, and it will finally be released on March 9, 2012.  Please watch it, it would mean a lot if you did.

It's Okay To Be A Bully, So Long As It's For Religious Reasons

Jacob Rogers

Yep, the good 'ol south - you gotta love'em. It hasn't even been a month since a local gay teen in Tennessee was buried that a new law allowing kids to bully is being proposed by the State Legislature.  I know, you're thinking I'm trying to push some liberal agenda, that no conservative would ever do such a thing.  But guess what, it's true!

As local news channel WSMV is reporting, the proposed law change by state lawmakers would allow students to speak out against homosexuality without punishment if that's what their religious beliefs call for. [source]

So in other words... if my child is walking through the halls, minding their own business, and a religious kid comes up and tells him or her they are going to hell, they're a sinner or sodomite, they will have every right to ridicule them and belittle them?  Yes, this new law will allow that.  You mean to tell me, if they tell my child "you're a fag and are going to burn in eternal fire," and my child might not even be gay - that will be okay? YEP.

It's true and it's sad, but this type of behavior is what led many of us to contemplate suicide when we were younger.  I would often find myself praying myself to sleep asking God to make me normal, asking him why would he made me this way if I was his child.  Depression kicks in, and everything you're taught to believe in this world turns out to be a lie. You start to believe that everyone, and every thing is a lie!

In correspondence with the Tennessee Equality Project, the state's main gay rights group, state Rep. John Ragan, R-Oak Ridge, claimed gay people commit suicide at a higher rate than others and suggested Jacob's sexuality itself drove him to kill himself. Ragan asked whether the suicide could have had "more to do with his own proclivities and behavior than anything to do with schoolmate bullies ..."

Blaming the victim is necessary to prevent Jacob's death from damaging chances for passage of Tennessee's 2012 state legislative priority—a bill to make it easier for young bigots to mistreat gay schoolkids. This legislation brought by conservative Christians who oppose special protections for gay people actually gives special protections to homophobic bullies. [source]

"What's Going On" Video Nears 8,000,000 Views

This video went viral last week.  It was all over Facebook, the blogoshphere, and practically all over the web.  It's poignant, meaningful, and it will make you cry.  It's heartbreaking that someone has to go through life feeling this way.  As parents, how can we allow this sort of thing to go on?  Was carrying your child for 9 months just a joke?

It really perturbs me to say this, but why would people condemn this video?  If you were to read some of the hateful comments people posted on this video, it would sicken you.  At least I hope it would.  

I don't get Christians, or the ones who say they "wholeheartedly" believe in God.  These same people mentioned God in their comments, yet added filthy language while posting their hateful messages at the same time.

People go so far as to say the video was a fake, that Jonah was crying fake tears and that he's just a "faggot" wanting attention.  Really?  Are you people that ignorant?  And if it was? So what!  You're still missing the message behind it. This goes on every day.  Wouldn't you want your kids to be upfront with you?  Not afraid to tell you anything.  Instead they hide in shame because you tell them, they're screwed up, need therapy or simply because carrying them for 9 months really was a joke.

Gay Ads That Matter - Issue No. 008 - A Skateboarder's Love

When the commercial down below first aired, the amount of backlash from the conservative right was endless.  This went on for months, even years.  I have to hand it to MTV for standing their ground, for being big supporters of anti-discrimination.  And since then, we have watched as ABC, NBC, CBS, and yes, even FOX have been showing programming directed at gay youth, bullying, and teen suicides.

In the Following Video two serious-looking young guys in baseball caps arrive with a big tool kit, blocks of wood and some blueprints. They begin sawing, drilling and hammering.

They build a half-pipe for skateboarding and, when it's complete, give each other a macho handshake and then pull each other forward for a sensual kiss. The text then offers, "You never know."

The young audience of MTV of course respects the idea of skaters, but would not expect them to be gay. The kiss is an unexpected juxtaposition against the macho handshake, thus breaking stereotypes.

MTV has set the gold standard among all advertisers for the most ads that refer to the community, more than 25 since 1996, in addition to carrying numerous gay ads from other companies and running its own supportive gay-inclusive programming.  Check out the commercial below.

Being Bullied? Just Act Less Gay, Advise Teachers

click pic for story

Seriously?  And this is why we have all the crazy bullshit we have today.  Hateful people, I swear.  And what frustrates me more is that the very people who do this, are the ones who portray themselves as good-abiding Christians.  Hmmm -  I don't know, can you act less straight?

Believe me, you can be a Christian, and not be hateful.  You can be a Christian and love.  I have many Christian friends, and not once have I seen them portray themselves as evil people. They're caring, loving and understanding, but most importantly, they know Jesus would never act that way.  Please, stop the bullying!- Peter Flores, aka Blade 7184

Quoted - Zachary Quinto on Coming Out Earlier Today

"When i found out that jamey rodemeyer killed himself - i felt deeply troubled.  but when i found out that jamey rodemeyer had made an it gets better video only months before taking his own life - i felt indescribable despair.  i also made an it gets better video last year - in the wake of the senseless and tragic gay teen suicides that were sweeping the nation at the time.  but in light of jamey's death - it became clear to me in an instant that living a gay life without publicly acknowledging it - is simply not enough to make any significant contribution to the immense work that lies ahead on the road to complete equality.  our society needs to recognize the unstoppable momentum toward unequivocal civil equality for every gay lesbian bisexual and transgendered citizen of this country.  gay kids need to stop killing themselves because they are made to feel worthless by cruel and relentless bullying.  parents need to teach their children principles of respect and acceptance.  we are witnessing an enormous shift of collective consciousness throughout the world.  we are at the precipice of great transformation within our culture and government.  i believe in the power of intention to change the landscape of our society - and it is my intention to live an authentic life of compassion and integrity and action.  jamey rodemeyer's life changed mine.  and while his death only makes me wish that i had done this sooner - i am eternally grateful to him for being the catalyst for change within me.  now i can only hope to serve as the same catalyst for even one other person in this world.  that - i believe - is all that we can ask of ourselves and of each other." zq.

-By Zachary Quinto on October 16, 2011 8:26 AM

Things Liked By Nerds, Goths, and Jocks

Ahhhhh, High School, don't you just miss it? Honestly - it wasn't all that bad - I like reflecting on my high school days from time to time.  Do I miss all the people who made up these groups?  Probably not as much.... Well.....

Unless they were hot, LOL.