Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 23

Are people really this stupid?  Oh wait!

Sorry, wrong segment.  This is about Foods That Will Make You Fat, Right?

You're probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me, but after witnessing a Porkgasm for the first time, I absolutely lost it.  I couldn't remember whether I was coming or going.  Seriously, who comes up with these terrible concoctions?  Is it a sin to eat these type of foods?  Or is it a sin to overindulge yourself with food? I forget.

The Porkgasm

Shoot me now!  No. Really.  I don't even know what to say about this hot mess of a recipe.  The piggy above consists of bacon strips, bacon sausage, ham sausage, ham slices, smoked pork sausage and roasted pork belly surrounded by ground sausage, wrapped in bacon and roasted. Oh, and you can't forget the garnish, chili peppers for the ears and tail - the only fat free thing on this god-forsaken plate.  And what the hell is bacon sausage?

Egg n' Ham Sammich

Awww, why don't we give this horrible sandwich a cute little name like "sammich."  Really?  What idiot came up with this crazy mess?  And why would they use only 11 eggs and not a full dozen?  Whatever. This regular ham and cheese sandwich comes complete with 11 sunny-side up egg yolks, bread, ham and cheese.  Doesn't it look appetizing?

Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger

The Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger consists of the following: two sausage and pepperoni pizzas (serving as the bun), a 5-pound hamburger patty, two pounds of bacon, and two pounds cheese (plus an onion and two bulbs of garlic).  You think I'm kidding don't you?  You think I come up with all this crap on my own and just post it for laughs, right?  DAMMIT, YOU'RE WRONG!  Here's the other 9 pictures that preceded the one up above.

LONG, LIVE, PLAY

If you're a gamer, you will absolutely love this.  I'm not a gamer, but I have played my fair share of Playstation and Nintendo video games over the years.  

The following commercial by PS3 titled "Michael" is truly amazing.  I'm only familiar with a couple of the characters they brought to life in this advertising campaign, but I'm sure others will appreciate the creative geniuses behind this ad.

OMG Hilarious! - Roll Over

If The World Were A Village of 100 People: Issue No. 6 - Money

What if the world were a village of 100 people?  Using statistics based on the spread of the population in the world, Toby Ng Design created this poster as another way of looking at how our world is today.  

There are 14 more posters I will share with you in the coming weeks; This is the 6th of 20.  

If you missed any of the previous issues, click here.

Isn't This The Truth? Television Through The Years

Haha, too funny. Isn't this the truth?

I Spy Facebook

So do you spy on your child's internet activities?  Don't lie, you can tell the truth.  You know you check your son or daughter's Facebook account.  According to recent poll of 2,000 participants, 55% of them said they did, 40% said they wouldn't dare, and 5% said No, but they would if they knew how.

So if you're spying on your child's Facebook, what are you looking for?  This little chart will give you the answer.

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 29 - The Dreamy Hamster

Back in July I went hamster shopping, and created a hamster village so huge that I nick-named it Hamster Hogwarts.  All 6 of my hamsters have Harry Potter names in tribute to the last movie in the franchise.  I promise to post pictures soon, I keep procrastinating.

Anyway, I saw this video online and had to share it.  It's a cute little hamster dreaming away. Well, at least I think it's dreaming. lol.  Whoever posted it on YouTube doesn't know the difference between a mouse and a hamster, obviously.

I Quote That - Learn From It

Must Watch: The Walking Dead

If none of you have ever seen The Walking Dead, then I'm going to repeat what I said back on August 7, and revise what I said, "If it's two things we all should watch in life, it's it's Dexter and Spartacus," and change it to "three things we should watch in life..."

I have never sat through one episode of a show, and said "fuck it, let's watch the whole season."  Until early this year when my partner, Ryan had me sit down to watch the first episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead."

Let me say this much... the graphics, the storyline and all the actors on this show are phenomenal.  It's not your zombie movie of yesteryear, it's so much better and so much more.  I promise you, the moment you see the first episode you will be hooked.  A lot of emotion went into the making of this television series, and all I can ask, is that you watch the trailer below.  Its for the first season, which consisted of 6 episodes.  You will not regret it.

For all The Walking Dead fans, I'm sure you already know the second season premieres next Sunday, October 16th.  But what you might not know, was that six, 2-1/2 minute webisodes were released on AMC over the summer.  If you want to find out what happened to the bicycle girl from the show's pilot, and are interested in seeing what happened to the rest of the world during the outbreak, I have posted all 6 webisodes after the jump... check them out.

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 30 - Idiocy

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Idiocy".

Must Watch: A Job Interview With A Twist

Courtesy of the lovely folks at reddit, I bring you this outrageously funny video.  OMG, I couldn't keep myself from laughing.

After the interviewer informs the applicant the she is over-qualified for the position she's applying for, she replies in kind...

"oh, that's okay, I don't intend to work very hard...  in fact I only intend to show up when I feel like it, which is good, because I have a wide variety of extremely annoying personal habits, and absolutely no sense of personal hygiene."

Should Politicians Wear Uniforms Like NASCAR Drivers To Identify Their Corporate Sponsors?

It's an honest question really.  I mean, why shouldn't they?

I Quote That - You're Crazy

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

OMG Hilarious! - Can of Worms

War of the Roses - Paige & Ray

LMAO, I can't stop laughing at what this idiot guy was saying to cover his ass.  LOL. I'm sorry, yes I've given it away. He's cheating! There's no doubt about it.

For God's sake, his woman has found whip cream, handcuffs, KY Jelly, silky boxers and massage oil in his gym bag! LOL.  And what makes it hilarious is the way he tries to talk his way out of it.  He has a reason for every specific thing in his bag.

If you're not familiar with my "War of the Roses" segment, then I suggest you read my first issue, here;  I wrote a detailed description on how it actually works.

In today's call Roula & Ryan spoke with Paige who's been living with her boyfriend of 3 years, Ray.  She feels that her boyfriend is having an affair and wants to confront him about it.  Actually, she pretty much says he's having one.  Ray isn't calling or texting her every day like he used to, he no longer sends her flowers, he comes home later than usual, and he's extended his gym hours to include weekends.

Roula and Ryan tell her that what she's saying is really nothing out of the extraordinary.  They explain it by saying that her and Ray have been in a relationship for quite some time, and anyone can say he's not very timely with his phone calls, it doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating.  And that's when Paige informs them of a gym bag she found...

One Saturday morning, she made Ray breakfast like she usually does, and he left to the gym.  Thinking that Ray forgot his gym bag, and being the good girl that she is, she decided to take it to him.  But for some odd reason, her gut was telling her to check out his bag, and in it were all the items I mentioned at the beginning of this post.

Needless to say, when she got to the gym she couldn't bring herself to confront him about it. Obviously it wasn't his gym bag, because he was working out with some very pretty girl at the gym, whom he said was his personal trainer. 

And what of the bag she found?  Well, pretty much a bag of goodies he's yet to explain.

Roula and Ryan share their thoughts on the matter, go over the rules of the "War," and ask her again if she really wants to go through with this, because regardless of the outcome, Ray will have to know she made the call to the radio station to trick him.

So how does the battle end?  Will Ray send the flowers to his loving girlfriend, Paige, or will he send them to someone else?

And the war rages on.... 

Part 1


Part 2

Make sure to stay tuned each week, as this is a regular series on my blog.  Feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook, or email them. There's a little Facebook button right underneath this post where it says, "This Post Written By".

How To Solve a Rubik's Cube

Talk about forever and a day, but the following video is fucking hilarious!  I'm sorry for my French, but it's funny!  Okay, well maybe it's funny because kids do the darnedest things.  It is definitely MY answer to solving the damn thing.  "A young girl is faced with the challenge of completing a Rubik's Cube until she thinks of a novel solution to the problem."

Remember my post from back in April? If you haven't, it's about the Rubik's Cube.  "Keeping It Old Skool" is a series in my blog in which I reflect on the younger years of my life, talking about the products, shows, etc of the time.  I haven't posted a new one since May, but I hope to soon.

What a Hot Mess: News 7 Screenshot

I think someone got fired the day News 7 reported on it's search for a rapist.  Either the television news editor or the anchor, take your pick.  What a hot mess!  But I love it!

Stick vs. Automatic

Courtesy of Hunch and Column Five Media, I bring you this great infographic which uncovers the characteristics of people who can drive stick shifts and those who cant.  Pretty interesting when you find that 69% of people who drive a stick are more likely to have a graduate degree and 39% more likely to be married or in a long-term relationship.

And try this one; If you cannot drive a stick-shift, you're part of the 32% of people who are pessimistic, 12% more likely to be an introvert, 11% more likely to be a night owl, 12% more likely to best express yourself through writing, and 15% likely to consider yourself close to nature. Hmm, I'm not mentioning any names, but I know someone just like this, and he can't drive a stick.

click to enlarge

Must Watch: The Golden Girls on Gay Marriage

"We look back at times never realizing that the issues affecting us today, like gays in the military and gay marriage were discussed way back when - back when you didn't think it would even be possible.  Then you see a clip from a very popular television show in the mid-1980's, and you come to an understanding...  It was always there, you just didn't care enough to pay attention." 

- Peter Flores, aka Blade 7184 

on a video clip from NBC's The Golden Girls

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 078

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

Must Watch: Everyday We're Shuffling....

For all you Drum Corps and Marching Band fans, the Ohio University’s Marching band performed LMFAO’s ”Party Rock Anthem,” during their half-time show last Saturday in Athens, Ohio.

I absolutely loved it!  For all you folks that don't know, I dated a girl who played an instrument in High School, so marching bands hold a special place in my heart.  My high school marching band was very competitive when I was growing up. Our band always got a 1 in district competitions, and when I was there, it was like 30 or so years the band had earned them in a row.  They were so close to winning several state competitions when I was in school.

Added to my fascination with marching bands, my current partner, Ryan was in a high school marching band, and one of our best friends, Michael is a Colorguard Director for a school near Houston, TX.

OMG Hilarious! - The Sting

Are People Really This Stupid? Issue No. 9

Talk about having a bridge party.  Why don't we all risk our lives like this?  Geez.  Are people really this stupid?  Using a few cables, a wooden platform, a homemade hot tub, and a few friends, a group of “extreme jacuzzi” fanatics dangled 128 feet off the side of the 620 foot Gueuroz Bridge in Switzerland.

It took six hours to assemble the makeshift hot-tub and about 2500 hours to plan to mission. Water was heated in a second jacuzzi on the bridge and lowered onto the platform where a gas-powered system kept it warm.

I don't know about you, but if it's 38 degrees outside, I'd be at home cuddling with my partner eating popcorn and watching a show.  Not dangling off the side of a bridge like an idiot.  Am I being too harsh? 

And yes, if you're interested you can see more pics and how it was assembled here.

Back In The Day - Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor and Macaulay Culkin

It's crazy, but one of these celebrities is not like the other.  

I was feeling a bit nostalgic, and thought I'd post a pic from back in the day - when Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor were still alive.  Macaulay Culkin still lives...

and the child star doesn't look to shabby for 31...

What If Mom Thought You Were Gay and You Were Not?

You've probably heard it asked over dinner and conversation, or maybe even a television show, "How can I tell if my son is gay?" 

But what what if your mom thought you were gay and you were not?

I was reading an article online when I came across a comment from one of it's readers.  Absolutely touched by it, I had to share it with you.

"My mother was in a nursing home in Utah towards the end of her life and I was in Florida. I'm not gay, but my best friend since kindergarten is gay and we have lived together several different times over the years and we were doing so at the time of this story.

My sister called me out of the blue to tell me mom was telling everyone I was gay.

My sister told her, "No, Mark and Doug aren't boyfriends. Doug has a boyfriend." My mom teared-up and said, "Oh, no! Does Mark know?"

I've always loved my mom, but loved her just a bit more when I learned that she wasn't really concerned about me being gay, but she was terribly upset that my supposed boyfriend was cheating on me."

That is soooo damn sweet! And this is how parents should love their children.

Isn't This The Truth? Twisted

LMAO!  Isn't this the truth!  I hate when this shit happens.  I swear, the moment I put my headphones in my pockets they throw themselves into this convoluted mess!

Blade's Box of Jams: Track #8 - 7 Minutes In Heaven

Currently listening to... 

School Boy Humor

I came across this group on Facebook and I'd have to say, OMG! These guys are hot! Of course their bodies caught my attention, because who doesn't like looking at guys with hot bodies? But that's besides the point.

School Boy Humor is a group from Arkansas created by twin brothers, Phil and Anthony Evans. They write their own music and recently released their latest hit, "7 Minutes In Heaven".  Check out the track below, and as an added treat there are some really hot pics of the twins after the jump.

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 22

I know all of you enjoy this particular segment.  Who doesn't want to know what other people are eating?  Who doesn't want to know what will surely cause them an early death?  Foods That Will Make You Fat, keeps you informed of all the latest trends in eatery.  Even though fast food restaurants are guilty of introducing us to ridiculous concoctions, most of these foods are put together by regular folks like you and me.  What drives one to create a hot mess of a recipe?

The Pizza Cone

This crazy idea gained popularity in Brazil, Portugal, and Italy, when a banker thought it would be a brilliant idea to introduce it to the fattest country in the world.  Did you hear that?  The fattest country in the world!  People are so excited that some are saying "You can totally walk with it, and you don't have the oil dripping all over you."  Key words: Oil and Dripping.  I guess it isn't such a crazy idea, it's a hit in Manhattan, New York.

The Fat Elvis

Really?  We all know Elvis was fat in his later years, but do we need to be reminded why he died.  I mean... this sandwich is stuffed with butter, peanut butter, bananas, bacon, honey and confectioner's sugar.  Not only will you become diabetic, but you'll collapse while cooking this shit.

The Spamsicle

Who the hell created this monstrosity?  Seriously? If I wanted some type of "sicle" in my menu, it definitely wouldn't be a deep fried piece of processed meat.  And with the beaten eggs, seasoned flour, and Japanese bread crumbs added you'll have enough carbs to last for the rest of year, if not your life.  So much for your Atkins diet.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

Quoted: Steve Jobs

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart...

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true." 
                                        - Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple Computer and
                                          of Pixar Animation Studios, in a June 12, 
                                          2005 commencement address to Stanford 
                                          University.

"My first computer was an apple.  It had a huge ass keyboard, and used those huge 5 inch floppy disks.  It had a black screen and the letters were all in green - very matrix. LOL.  In either case, it truly is a sad day to know that Steve Jobs has passed away, but his legacy will live in the hearts and souls of many for thousands of years.  He was the Einstein of our generation, and I can't name one person in this era who has done more to change the world, than he.  R.I.P. Steve."                    - Blade 7184 aka Peter

What Does It Take To Get Millions of Views on You Tube?

Answer:  Jump off a building and live to view it. LOL.

No, really, check out this kitty who licked his paw and only got 62 views on YouTube.

OMG, one you tube commenter wrote, "DIE DIE DIE YOU FAT GAY BEAST"

So how how far will kitty go to get millions of views???? Check him out after the jump...

What a Hot Mess: Another Informercial Star Dead

Geez what is it with these infomercial stars dying all of a sudden?  Remember Bill Mays?  I think everyone can relate to these sales pitches on television in one way or the other.  Either your parents have bought into some of them, or you were hoping to become rich by buying into some ridiculous program that would bring you riches beyond your wildest dreams.

Well, Don Lapre, the star of those "tiny classified ads" committed suicide inside an Arizona jail cell this past Sunday.  According to TMZ, he accomplished this task by "self-mutilation" and when the officers found him, there was a "large amount of blood" in his cell.  

Lapre was recently charged with conspiracy, mail fraud and wire fraud in his latest "Greatest Vitamin in The World" snake oil scam.  He walked off with $52 million buckaroos and screwing thousands of consumers. 

What a shame and yes,  What a Hot Mess!