What would happen if...

I shit you not, I just finished typing "what would happen if " with a space after "if" and this is what Google came up with.  I took this screenshot just now. 

You should try it.  I swear, some people search for the weirdest shit.

LMAO! What would happen if I poured self-raising flour on an orphan?  I'm ROFL - this is priceless!

Ground Zero Now

You can click the image to the left to access The New York Times, or you can simply check out the amazing video below of the Ground Zero location as new office towers are rising at the site. It truly is fascinating.

Another Republican Outed... And This Time on Grndr!

No, this is not Arango, you horny bastards!

I'm sure you've heard the story, or read about it online... 

Another Republican who supported and campaigned for President George W. Bush, and was an opponent of gay rights was caught with his pants down.  

And it wasn't something to brag about either, "You know I've been losing weight. As I shed that weight, I've been taking pictures." Roberto Arango explains.
  
Mr. Senator was caught showing himself on the popular gay iPhone app Grndr, bending over, with his ass cheeks spread apart.

You remember the iPhone application that I mentioned in a post back on July 2nd?  Well, Mr. Arango likes to either a) hook-up with dudes or b) show his butthole to dudes; either way you look at it, he's been outed!

All he has to do now is make like Republican Senator Larry Craig, and say, "let me be clear, I-am-not-gay, I never have been gay... I am not gay."

You gotta love hypocrites, they only prove what we've said all along...  YOU WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

Gay Ski Camp - Episode 5

It seems SameSame.com.au wanted to prolong the season by releasing its videos over the course of three months.  I wasn't too happy with the way the show was put together - it seemed a bit rushed, and to close out the season by releasing a 3-1/2 minute video was mediocre at best.

While the boys were hot, I felt they could have posted all 5 episodes into one - at least it would have made it more enjoyable.

At the end of episode 4 we were left with Dan and Kirk competing for the title of Gay Ski Camp Champ.  If you missed the previous episodes, or want to see them again, you can catch episode 1 here, episode 2 here, episode 3 here, and episode 4 here.

OMG Hilarious! - The Offensive Translator

Seriously... If you're having a bad day, don't want to be bothered, people annoy you, or you simply just want to get away.   This video will make you laugh, and laugh, and laugh!  OMG, this was f--ing hilarious!

Ryan James Yezak Does Febreeze and It's Absolutely Fabulous!

I saw this video several days ago, and in my opinion, it was the most fabulous one!  Yes, I'm partial to it's creator, Ryan James Yezak, because I love his work, and I hope that by posting this video on my blog whoever comes across it will vote.  

Go ahead and do it now.  You can log-in using your facebook log-in and help Ryan James Yezak win Febreeze's dance video contest for the month of August.  If he wins he will take home a $1,000 Grand Prize, and at the end of the year as part of the top 7 finalists he will compete in a dance-off competition worth $5,000!

So c'mon... it only takes a few seconds... vote and help Ryan win.

Contest details

What a Hot Mess: Dancing With The Stars Releases It's List of "Has Beens" and "Never Were" Contestants

Seriously?  What the hell is going on with ABC?  Did they drink a bottle of Jack Daniels, and play a few rounds of strip poker to come up with this hot mess?  No.  Really?  Did they sit around and talk about what slut or ho was going to take the crown this season?  

OMG, and then you ask why Ryan and I stopped watching this god-forsaken show!  Once Julianne Hough left, it became a fucking joke!  Or better yet, an outrageous nightmare!

Image courtesy of Michael K

First you have Carson Kressley - the most flamboyant, loud-mouthed gay on all the planet and Chaz Bono - the first "I'm a lesbian," then "a chick with a dick," and now, a she who made herself a he.  Too fucked up?  Well.... cough, cough... you haven't heard nothing yet...

Next... you have Nancy Grace, the self-appointed former lawyer who can put a laughing-hyena to shame.  If I wanted to watch a screaming lunatic dance for her life (oh wait, that's So You Think You Can Dance..oh well), I would watch Lion King while on crack.  The bitch still dreams and screams of revenge for Casey Anthony.

Okay, okay... I do like Ricki Lake, we all know she's taking that stupid mirrored-disco-ball trophy home.  I mean c'mon... Hairspray, Helloooooo??? 

I also like Chynna Phillips from the group Wilson Phillips but really... did they have to add David Arquette?  What a hot fucking mess!  And why do we need another Kardashian - Rob, really?  I've had enough of that annoying family! 

Finally, JR Martinez, he's an Iraq war veteran, enough said.  Well... he did become a soap star, and that's the only messy thing about him that I could think of.

I don't really know too much about the other "never were" contestants in this lineup, but here you go...  Ron Artest, Kristin Calamaris, Hope Solo, and Elisabeta Canalis.

God bless all of you who are watching this hot mess, because it's definitely a list of "has-beens" and people who "never were."

OMG Hilarious! - Prom

Three Charts to Email to Your Right-Wing Family Member

What a great thing to show all your right-wing nuts in your family.  Yes, everyone has them.  They rely on Fox news to give them all the information, and in turn fall for the lies and deception those idiots report.

Dave Johnson of Campaign for America's Future, wrote the following Op-Ed piece, and I couldn't have stated it any better myself. The facts are here folks... what more do you want?

Problem: Your right-wing family member is plugged into the FOX-Limbaugh lie machine, and keeps sending you emails about "Obama spending" and "Obama deficits" and how the "Stimulus" just made things worse.

Solution: Here are three "reality-based" charts to send to him. These charts show what actually happened.

Spending

Government spending increased dramatically under Bush. It has not increased much under Obama. Note that this chart does not reflect any spending cuts resulting from deficit-cutting deals.

Deficits

Notes, this chart includes Clinton's last budget year for comparison.

The numbers in these two charts come from Budget of the United States Government: Historical Tables Fiscal Year 2012. They are just the amounts that the government spent and borrowed, period, Anyone can go look then up. Peoplewho claim that Obama "tripled the deficit" are either misled or are trying to mislead.

The Stimulus and Jobs

In this chart, the RED lines on the left side -- the ones that keep doing DOWN -- show what happened to jobs under the policies of Bush and the Republicans. We were losing lots and lots of jobs every month, and it was getting worse and worse. The BLUE lines -- the ones that just go UP -- show what happened to jobs when the stimulus was in effect. We stopped losing jobs and started gaining jobs, and it was getting better and better. The leveling off on the right side of the chart shows what happened as the stimulus started to wind down: job creation leveled off at too low a level.

It looks a lot like the stimulus reversed what was going on before the stimulus.

Conclusion: THE STIMULUS WORKED BUT WAS NOT ENOUGH!

More False Things

These are just three of the false things that everyone "knows." Some others are (click through): Obama bailed out the banks, businesses will hire if they get tax cuts, health care reform cost $1 trillion, Social Security is a Ponzi Scheme or is "going broke", government spending "takes money out of the economy."

Why This Matters

These things really matter. We all want to fix the terrible problems the country has. But it is so important to know just what the problems are before you decide how to fix them. Otherwise the things you do to try to solve those problems might just make them worse. If you get tricked into thinking that Obama has made things worse and that we should go back to what we were doing before Obama -- tax cuts for the rich, giving giant corporations and Wall Street everything they want -- when those are the things that caused the problems in the first place, then we will be in real trouble.

 

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 25 - Futility

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Futility".

DALLAS: An ET Exclusive (Must Watch)

Absolutely excited for the return of Dallas. But why did they have to wait an entire year? Aren't they concerned J.R. could croak at any second? Geez...

But really... Ryan and I are excited about the show; If not for the drama, the glitz, the oil, the barbecues, then we're certainly watching for the gorgeous sons of Bobby and J.R.

Here's an ET exclusive that premiered last month...

The Woes of Being a Bad Parent - I'll Be Right Back

So imagine being 5 years old, sitting in a stroller for some unknown reason (he must've been tiny), and as you patiently wait outside for your mother - it starts to rain.  So here you are, getting soaked, sitting in a stroller and all these strangers walk past you (it's pouring rain mind you), as they walk into the bar to get a drink. Ahhh... the woes of being a bad parent...

You see this bright woman here?   Well, that's Sarah Cheek from Daytona Beach, Florida.  Sarah went inside Crook's Den (a bar) at 10 o'clock at night to presumably go inside and buy a candy for her daughter.  This is before she said she went in to apply for a job.  But according to some of the drunks who saw her daughter outside (who didn't help the 5-yr-old child), say they saw Sarah gulp down two beers.

Now, you'd think after a few minutes she'd go outside to check on the kid.  Nope, she asked her fellow drunkards if they could go outside and keep little "sally" company as she finished her beers.

Rule of thumb...  if mom or dad say they are going inside to buy you a candy, chances are they're probably not coming back. LOL

Source: http://www.wftv.com/news/28916979/detail.html

OMG Hilarious! - Dr. Piles

What a Hot Mess: Cat Parts

Seriously?  I know it happens, and it's just heartbreaking, but what are these students supposed to do with their damn cat parts!  This is just wrong! What a hot mess!

War of the Roses - Denise & Jackson

I'm sorry it took me so long to post this week's issue of War of the Roses. I will definitely post it on it's regularly scheduled day, next Thursday.  

If you're not familiar with the "War of the Roses", then I suggest you read up on my first issue, here.  I wrote a detailed description on how it actually works.

In this morning's call, Roula took on the fictional role of Penelope from Plants and Flowers.com.  Ryan later mentioned that he almost broke up laughing, because she used that off-the-wall name.  I'll have to admit I thought the same thing too. LOL.

Responding to an email from Denise, Roula and Ryan began their regular weekly segment of Roula and Ryan's Roses by asking the caller a few questions...

Denise's informs them that her 8-yr-old daughter made a recent discovery that freaked her out.  She's been married for ten years to her husband, Jackson.  He has a terrific job, and also goes to school.  He's more like an "afternoon" dad, she says.

Well... her daughter and some friends got into his car after school, and while on the drive home found some women's underwear on the floor.  Daddy's quick explanation to their daughter was that "mommy" had left them there when she was doing laundry.

One day, daughter confronts mommy, and tells her, "mommy, I didn't know you wore the 'string kind'." My first reaction would be, "Really?..Oh...Really?? That mother fucking bastard!!!" LMAO...  Nope, that wasn't the case...  

This apparently didn't push Denise to confront her husband, until today.  She says that she has turned a blind eye over their 10 year marriage, because she didn't want to do anything, but raise their daughter.  Once their daughter was born 8 years ago, everything else seemed pointless.  Denise continued by saying she felt so humiliated after finding this out from her daughter, and the possibility the neighborhood kids went and told their parents.

Roula and Ryan share their thoughts on the matter, go over the rules of the "War," and ask her again if she really wants to go through with this, because regardless of the outcome, Jackson will have to know she made the call to the radio station to trick him.

So how does this battle end?  Will Jackson send the flowers to Denise?  Is there another woman?

the war rages on....
Part 1

Part 2

Make sure to stay tuned for next Thursday, as this is a regular series on my blog.  Feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook, or email them. There's a little Facebook button right underneath this post where it says, "This Post Written By".

Stunning Photo of Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe

Honestly, many people have tried and failed, but I'm having second thoughts about Michelle Williams' portrayal of Marilyn Monroe.  After looking at this promotional image, I might've got it all wrong.

Based on two books by Colin Clark, it depicts the making of the 1957 film The Prince and the Showgirl, which starred Marilyn Monroe and Laurence Olivier. The film focuses on the week in which Monroe spent time being escorted around Britain by Clark, after her husband, Arthur Miller, left the country. - Wikipedia

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 073

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

No One Believed Me, But It's True! Superman No Longer Is...

...wearing red underpants!  

I mentioned it several weeks ago, and I still feel the same way!  This is a blasphemy!  There is no need to change our superheros' outfits!  

Okay, so they did it with Batman, but that's Batman, and frankly I could care less with what happens with Batman - this is SUPERMAN for god's sake! SUPERMAN!

As you can see in the leaked photos of the new movie, Man of Steel, the Krypton God is not wearing his red underwear, which confirms my terrifying rumor was true.  It truly is a sad day for the country and the world.  Putting that aside, the villainess in the photo looks pretty darn cool, she is the one donning the black cape.

God Save the Queen!

Oops... I Meant Marco Save the Qween!

You know it's bad, when the "crown prince" of the Tea Party, Marco Rubio makes headlines for saving the Republican Qween, Nancy Reagan.

Yes, the junior Republican senator from Florida was escorting Nancy Reagan down the aisle of the Reagan Presidential Library when she slipped and fell.  But within a few seconds, Super Marco dived in and prevented the Qween from hitting the floor within a few inches.

He was there to save the day and give an arousing speech, way to go Marco!  Seriously, I don't know who I would vote for if it was between Ricky Perry and this idiot!  What's sad is that if he were to run for office, President Obama would be screwed, because he would take all the Latin vote just for being from Cuba.

Have You Ever Been Told To Go "F**k Yourself"?

I know I have, but have you ever really done it?  The gorgeous brother of the very gorgeous James Franco decides to do just that.   

Dave Franco, who was in an earlier post where he played Chris Mintz in a game of "You're So Hot," gets into an argument with his girlfriend who tells him to go fuck himself.  Well.... he does what he's told.  He goes to a bar for a few drinks, where he runs into himself, he plays on the beach with himself, he plays on a swing with himself, he does everything with himself...  and I mean everything....  Check out the funny video below.

OMG Hilarious! - How To Twice Someone

Back In The Day - Aaliyah vs. Justin Timberlake

Click to Supersize

Back in the day, Aaliyah and Justin Timberlake got together to compare belly buttons.  But that isn't the only thing I noticed.  I noticed a damn hot treasure trail as well :-)  

RIP, Aaliyah.  Ten years ago today, we lost a true and talented artist.

The Muscle-Rippling, Bicep-Busting Ryan Gosling Becomes A Hero On The Streets of New York City

Yes, the very muscle-rippling, bicep-busting Ryan Gosling became a hero last weekend in NYC.  Two annoying girls were taping him break up a street fight without even realizing it was the actor from "Notebook" 

Living The Dream

It Was A Terrifying Disaster!!!!

I'm sorry, but I had to show you this graphic image of the aftermath of the D.C. earthquake that occurred earlier this week.  It was absolutely devastating!

Image courtesy of the The Daily What.

"I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A DEAL ANYMORE! AND I AM LEAVING!"

So, who has ever watched the show "Wife Swap?"  I've seen it twice, and I'm not even sure if it's still running?  The premise of the show was for two families to swap their wives/mothers for a week or two.  But it wasn't just any family, it was a family who lived a totally different lifestyle from the other. In other words, a neat and tidy family would swap their mother for a very unorganized and messy one.  I remember catching a clip of a rich mother swapping places with a poor one, and OMG the drama that ensued. It's actually a hilarious reality show.  But ohhh so crazy, it's real.

Let me introduce you to Curtis...

Curtis is used to eating whatever he likes.  If there is one thing you don't do in life, it's throwing away Curtis' food.  Sure enough, his new mom, Joy has some great nutrition advice for the family - throw away all the junk, and unhealthy food from the house in order to live a healthy lifestyle. But the moment she tries to get rid of his bacon, that's when things start to get ugly...  He starts throwing a huge tantrum and gives a big speech on how no one is going to throw away his bacon.

Check out the hilarity below.

 

"She's gonna try and stop me, but she can't run in those little high heels"

LMAO!

Where's Wall-E?

Based on the popular "Where's Waldo?" books, come's the Walt Disney version - "Where's Wall-e?"  

I had to share this with you guys, I'm sure you'll get a kick out of it.

click to enlarge

Gay Power Returned To Television Last Night!

"Gay Power"

The return of Daniel Joseph Baker to the semi-final round of America's Got Talent, took a turn for the better!  Not only, did he return to the stage singing Adele's "Dangerous", it was the first time he made an impression without singing a Lady Gaga cover.

Wearing a puffy white sequin ensemble, Piers Morgan praised his performance by saying he was "a pure Vegas Showman."  As you already know, Sharon Osbourne absolutely adores Daniel, and tells him that he delivers "everything with a great passion" and Howie Mandell, well... he tells him "just be yourself" and reminds him once again that he's a star!  And a star he is indeed.  Even if he doesn't make it to the finals, which I'm hoping he will, our local gay prodigy has a bright future ahead of him.  Good Luck Daniel!

OMG Hilarious! - The Wave

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 18

Ooooh, check out all the yummy goodness below.  Isn't your mouth salivating over these fine foods that will make you fat?  My tummy is screaming for them right now.  If it's not, you and your tummy have issues. 

I mean, who wouldn't want to eat something titled "Deep Fried Cheese-Stuffed Portabello Mushroom Cheeseburger"?

Ultimate Snack Stadium

Go ahead and call a doctor so that he can be on hand when I collapse on the floor from eating all those damn twinkies.  The stadium comes complete with Slim Jim goalposts, reservoirs of queso and salsa for the end zones, fans made from assorted snack foods and the stadium itself constructed from 58 Twinkies.

Deep Fried Cheese-Stuffed Portabello Mushroom Cheeseburger

Say that 5 times, quickly! Do it now! Geezus...  Who doesn't like anything stuffed?  I know you gay boys do :-) he he.  Seriously, it's true, you're not stuffed between two gorgeous guys like you dreamed it could be, instead you have a big ass mushroom stuffed with cheese, stuffed between two beef patties smothered in cheese, stuffed between a huge hamburger bun dripping with cheese.  It's a heart-clogging cheese galore!

Tater Tots with Cheese Extravaganza

Ahhhh, the lovely tater tots with cheese.  But these aren't you're regular "Sonic" tater tots with cheese, these are tots smothered in cheddar and mozarella cheeses, covered in Jalapeno's with bits of tomatoes and some black olives.  Throw on some sour cream and salsa, and you have you're next regurgitated meal!  Okay, I've had enough.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!