Poster of the Week - Issue No. 25 - Futility

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Futility".

DALLAS: An ET Exclusive (Must Watch)

Absolutely excited for the return of Dallas. But why did they have to wait an entire year? Aren't they concerned J.R. could croak at any second? Geez...

But really... Ryan and I are excited about the show; If not for the drama, the glitz, the oil, the barbecues, then we're certainly watching for the gorgeous sons of Bobby and J.R.

Here's an ET exclusive that premiered last month...

The Woes of Being a Bad Parent - I'll Be Right Back

So imagine being 5 years old, sitting in a stroller for some unknown reason (he must've been tiny), and as you patiently wait outside for your mother - it starts to rain.  So here you are, getting soaked, sitting in a stroller and all these strangers walk past you (it's pouring rain mind you), as they walk into the bar to get a drink. Ahhh... the woes of being a bad parent...

You see this bright woman here?   Well, that's Sarah Cheek from Daytona Beach, Florida.  Sarah went inside Crook's Den (a bar) at 10 o'clock at night to presumably go inside and buy a candy for her daughter.  This is before she said she went in to apply for a job.  But according to some of the drunks who saw her daughter outside (who didn't help the 5-yr-old child), say they saw Sarah gulp down two beers.

Now, you'd think after a few minutes she'd go outside to check on the kid.  Nope, she asked her fellow drunkards if they could go outside and keep little "sally" company as she finished her beers.

Rule of thumb...  if mom or dad say they are going inside to buy you a candy, chances are they're probably not coming back. LOL

Source: http://www.wftv.com/news/28916979/detail.html

OMG Hilarious! - Dr. Piles

What a Hot Mess: Cat Parts

Seriously?  I know it happens, and it's just heartbreaking, but what are these students supposed to do with their damn cat parts!  This is just wrong! What a hot mess!

War of the Roses - Denise & Jackson

I'm sorry it took me so long to post this week's issue of War of the Roses. I will definitely post it on it's regularly scheduled day, next Thursday.  

If you're not familiar with the "War of the Roses", then I suggest you read up on my first issue, here.  I wrote a detailed description on how it actually works.

In this morning's call, Roula took on the fictional role of Penelope from Plants and Flowers.com.  Ryan later mentioned that he almost broke up laughing, because she used that off-the-wall name.  I'll have to admit I thought the same thing too. LOL.

Responding to an email from Denise, Roula and Ryan began their regular weekly segment of Roula and Ryan's Roses by asking the caller a few questions...

Denise's informs them that her 8-yr-old daughter made a recent discovery that freaked her out.  She's been married for ten years to her husband, Jackson.  He has a terrific job, and also goes to school.  He's more like an "afternoon" dad, she says.

Well... her daughter and some friends got into his car after school, and while on the drive home found some women's underwear on the floor.  Daddy's quick explanation to their daughter was that "mommy" had left them there when she was doing laundry.

One day, daughter confronts mommy, and tells her, "mommy, I didn't know you wore the 'string kind'." My first reaction would be, "Really?..Oh...Really?? That mother fucking bastard!!!" LMAO...  Nope, that wasn't the case...  

This apparently didn't push Denise to confront her husband, until today.  She says that she has turned a blind eye over their 10 year marriage, because she didn't want to do anything, but raise their daughter.  Once their daughter was born 8 years ago, everything else seemed pointless.  Denise continued by saying she felt so humiliated after finding this out from her daughter, and the possibility the neighborhood kids went and told their parents.

Roula and Ryan share their thoughts on the matter, go over the rules of the "War," and ask her again if she really wants to go through with this, because regardless of the outcome, Jackson will have to know she made the call to the radio station to trick him.

So how does this battle end?  Will Jackson send the flowers to Denise?  Is there another woman?

the war rages on....
Part 1

Part 2

Make sure to stay tuned for next Thursday, as this is a regular series on my blog.  Feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook, or email them. There's a little Facebook button right underneath this post where it says, "This Post Written By".

Stunning Photo of Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe

Honestly, many people have tried and failed, but I'm having second thoughts about Michelle Williams' portrayal of Marilyn Monroe.  After looking at this promotional image, I might've got it all wrong.

Based on two books by Colin Clark, it depicts the making of the 1957 film The Prince and the Showgirl, which starred Marilyn Monroe and Laurence Olivier. The film focuses on the week in which Monroe spent time being escorted around Britain by Clark, after her husband, Arthur Miller, left the country. - Wikipedia

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 073

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

No One Believed Me, But It's True! Superman No Longer Is...

...wearing red underpants!  

I mentioned it several weeks ago, and I still feel the same way!  This is a blasphemy!  There is no need to change our superheros' outfits!  

Okay, so they did it with Batman, but that's Batman, and frankly I could care less with what happens with Batman - this is SUPERMAN for god's sake! SUPERMAN!

As you can see in the leaked photos of the new movie, Man of Steel, the Krypton God is not wearing his red underwear, which confirms my terrifying rumor was true.  It truly is a sad day for the country and the world.  Putting that aside, the villainess in the photo looks pretty darn cool, she is the one donning the black cape.

God Save the Queen!

Oops... I Meant Marco Save the Qween!

You know it's bad, when the "crown prince" of the Tea Party, Marco Rubio makes headlines for saving the Republican Qween, Nancy Reagan.

Yes, the junior Republican senator from Florida was escorting Nancy Reagan down the aisle of the Reagan Presidential Library when she slipped and fell.  But within a few seconds, Super Marco dived in and prevented the Qween from hitting the floor within a few inches.

He was there to save the day and give an arousing speech, way to go Marco!  Seriously, I don't know who I would vote for if it was between Ricky Perry and this idiot!  What's sad is that if he were to run for office, President Obama would be screwed, because he would take all the Latin vote just for being from Cuba.

Have You Ever Been Told To Go "F**k Yourself"?

I know I have, but have you ever really done it?  The gorgeous brother of the very gorgeous James Franco decides to do just that.   

Dave Franco, who was in an earlier post where he played Chris Mintz in a game of "You're So Hot," gets into an argument with his girlfriend who tells him to go fuck himself.  Well.... he does what he's told.  He goes to a bar for a few drinks, where he runs into himself, he plays on the beach with himself, he plays on a swing with himself, he does everything with himself...  and I mean everything....  Check out the funny video below.

OMG Hilarious! - How To Twice Someone

Back In The Day - Aaliyah vs. Justin Timberlake

Click to Supersize

Back in the day, Aaliyah and Justin Timberlake got together to compare belly buttons.  But that isn't the only thing I noticed.  I noticed a damn hot treasure trail as well :-)  

RIP, Aaliyah.  Ten years ago today, we lost a true and talented artist.

The Muscle-Rippling, Bicep-Busting Ryan Gosling Becomes A Hero On The Streets of New York City

Yes, the very muscle-rippling, bicep-busting Ryan Gosling became a hero last weekend in NYC.  Two annoying girls were taping him break up a street fight without even realizing it was the actor from "Notebook" 

Living The Dream

It Was A Terrifying Disaster!!!!

I'm sorry, but I had to show you this graphic image of the aftermath of the D.C. earthquake that occurred earlier this week.  It was absolutely devastating!

Image courtesy of the The Daily What.

"I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A DEAL ANYMORE! AND I AM LEAVING!"

So, who has ever watched the show "Wife Swap?"  I've seen it twice, and I'm not even sure if it's still running?  The premise of the show was for two families to swap their wives/mothers for a week or two.  But it wasn't just any family, it was a family who lived a totally different lifestyle from the other. In other words, a neat and tidy family would swap their mother for a very unorganized and messy one.  I remember catching a clip of a rich mother swapping places with a poor one, and OMG the drama that ensued. It's actually a hilarious reality show.  But ohhh so crazy, it's real.

Let me introduce you to Curtis...

Curtis is used to eating whatever he likes.  If there is one thing you don't do in life, it's throwing away Curtis' food.  Sure enough, his new mom, Joy has some great nutrition advice for the family - throw away all the junk, and unhealthy food from the house in order to live a healthy lifestyle. But the moment she tries to get rid of his bacon, that's when things start to get ugly...  He starts throwing a huge tantrum and gives a big speech on how no one is going to throw away his bacon.

Check out the hilarity below.

 

"She's gonna try and stop me, but she can't run in those little high heels"

LMAO!

Where's Wall-E?

Based on the popular "Where's Waldo?" books, come's the Walt Disney version - "Where's Wall-e?"  

I had to share this with you guys, I'm sure you'll get a kick out of it.

click to enlarge

Gay Power Returned To Television Last Night!

"Gay Power"

The return of Daniel Joseph Baker to the semi-final round of America's Got Talent, took a turn for the better!  Not only, did he return to the stage singing Adele's "Dangerous", it was the first time he made an impression without singing a Lady Gaga cover.

Wearing a puffy white sequin ensemble, Piers Morgan praised his performance by saying he was "a pure Vegas Showman."  As you already know, Sharon Osbourne absolutely adores Daniel, and tells him that he delivers "everything with a great passion" and Howie Mandell, well... he tells him "just be yourself" and reminds him once again that he's a star!  And a star he is indeed.  Even if he doesn't make it to the finals, which I'm hoping he will, our local gay prodigy has a bright future ahead of him.  Good Luck Daniel!

OMG Hilarious! - The Wave

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 18

Ooooh, check out all the yummy goodness below.  Isn't your mouth salivating over these fine foods that will make you fat?  My tummy is screaming for them right now.  If it's not, you and your tummy have issues. 

I mean, who wouldn't want to eat something titled "Deep Fried Cheese-Stuffed Portabello Mushroom Cheeseburger"?

Ultimate Snack Stadium

Go ahead and call a doctor so that he can be on hand when I collapse on the floor from eating all those damn twinkies.  The stadium comes complete with Slim Jim goalposts, reservoirs of queso and salsa for the end zones, fans made from assorted snack foods and the stadium itself constructed from 58 Twinkies.

Deep Fried Cheese-Stuffed Portabello Mushroom Cheeseburger

Say that 5 times, quickly! Do it now! Geezus...  Who doesn't like anything stuffed?  I know you gay boys do :-) he he.  Seriously, it's true, you're not stuffed between two gorgeous guys like you dreamed it could be, instead you have a big ass mushroom stuffed with cheese, stuffed between two beef patties smothered in cheese, stuffed between a huge hamburger bun dripping with cheese.  It's a heart-clogging cheese galore!

Tater Tots with Cheese Extravaganza

Ahhhh, the lovely tater tots with cheese.  But these aren't you're regular "Sonic" tater tots with cheese, these are tots smothered in cheddar and mozarella cheeses, covered in Jalapeno's with bits of tomatoes and some black olives.  Throw on some sour cream and salsa, and you have you're next regurgitated meal!  Okay, I've had enough.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

Must Watch: Bridge

If you love Pixar's short movies, you will absolutely love this.  

I'm really amazed at the amount of talented artists out there who's career paths never made it past college, or better yet, that it's taken so long to get noticed.  And I'm sure this goes on in many careers, but Ting is the exception.  

Ting created this animation Thesis film during his time at the Academy of Art University in 2010, and has many times been mistaken for working at Pixar which he has not.  He clarifies this on his Vimeo website.  In his description...

Bridge is a story about four animal characters trying to cross a bridge, but ending up as obstacles to one another in the process. The moral behind this story revolves around how there are often disagreements or competing paths in life, and the possible results of pride, obstinance, and compromise.

Are People Really This Stupid?

I'm going to pretend I'm not asking that question.

Whatever, I'll ask it anyway...

Are people really this stupid?  Seriously Lady,  If it isn't doing damage to your internal organs as you sit in that truck, it has to definitely got to be doing something to your ear drums and your small brain.  Okay, am I being too cruel?  I mean, it's only 40,000 watts of bass running through her body, and her ears.

I love what a YouTube commenter said:

"Women if you need a cold air blower dryer, here you go! Side effects include massive headache, deafness, blindness, explosive diarrhea, and one hell of a bass experience!" - sxcsKiTzYkitty

Grandpa Sale

You may remember honking for Grandma when passing this SUV on your way to work, but have you seen this fabulous sale?  

I'm sorry, but this is just wrong!  Okay, it's a little funny too! But still...

If The World Were A Village of 100 People: Issue No. 2 - Gender

What if the world were a village of 100 people?  Using statistics based on the spread of the population in the world, Toby Ng Design created this poster as another way of looking at how our world is today.  

There are 18 more posters I will share with you in the coming weeks; This is the second of 20.  

If you missed the first issue, click here.

OMG Hilarious! - Infertile

I Quote That - Your World

Call of Duty: Black Ops - Rezurrection

Call of Duty, the very popular shooter game franchise has a new game being released tomorrow, it's called Call of Duty: Black Ops - Rezurrection.  The trailer is down below.

I'm sorry, but these kind of games just terrify me. They're scary, bloody and downright gory!  For some, it may be NSFW so watch it at your own leisure. 

Addicted To Your Smartphone?

Well, you're not the only one.  Check out what people would give up before giving up their phones.  Damn, talk about being really close to an inanimate object - 33% of people would give up sex rather than lose their phone.

click to enlarge

OMG Hilarious! - Essay

An Owl As You've Never Seen It Before

The video you're about to see is absolutely stunning.  It was taken using a Photron Full HD High Speed Camera SA2, and the images will blow you away.  The shots are of an Owl flying towards a camera at an amazing slow speed, and it looks as if it's coming at you.

Ryan collects piggies, for piggy rights, and I collect owls, because I think they're a fascinating bird.  I've collected owls since I was a child, but Ryan on the other hand, started collecting piggies when he read my post, Concealed Cruelty.  In it was a video of piggy abuse that forever changed his life, and ever since then, he's been piggy rights this, and piggy rights that;  I don't even cook with pork any longer.

Fortunately for me, the only thing close to Owl abuse that I have ever seen was in "The Legend of the Guardians" when the evil Pure Ones kidnap some young owls and make them their slaves.  Just horrible!

Check out the awesome video below:

What a Hot Fucking Mess! This Is Definitely a Cover of California Gurls Gone Wrong!

I just changed the title to one of my most popular series.  LMAO, just kidding.  After hearing this outrageous cover to Katy Perry's "California Gurls," I came very close to doing it.  

Geezus, this boy needs some help, and I thought I was bad. "What a Hot Mess!"

This video is awesome only because it is 8am in Jersey City, sitting on a bus filled with people on their way to work and this guy is belting Katy Perry California Girls with a disc man in hand. It was pretty much the best bus ride ever! - YouTube Description

I'm sorry, but if I was stuck on the bus with this guy on an early morning ride to work, I'd either commit suicide or throw him off the bus. "Awesome", really?  Okay, okay, it is a little funny.  Still a hot mess though. :-)

What If The Republican Presidential Candidates Were Simpson Characters?

By the way, these are the top 4 Republican front-runners at the moment.

Cartoons courtesy of reddit

Quoted - Adam Levine on Being Gay

"I can single-handedly dispel any ideas that sexuality is acquired. Trust me, you’re born with it. My brother is gay, and we knew when he was two. We all really wanted to provide some cushion for him and constantly let him know that it’s OK." – Adam Levine from Maroon 5 on Out magazine's latest issue.

Watching TV Will Kill You!

So let's take a look at this for a moment...

We can't sit at work for too long, because our lives will shorten drastically.  We can't eat a high-carb diet, because we have a chance of developing a tumor in a few years, and today we find out that our Television is slowly killing us.  Geez, I think our lives are too short to worry about that kind of crap, don't you agree?  When can I start smoking again?

A team of researchers from Australia are predicting that Ryan and I will die within a few years.  No, really.  As long as our asses are sitting on the couch watching Glee, America's Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, True Blood, Master Chef, Dexter, and Hell's Kitchen, we will not be around much longer.  It's true!  If your ass is watching TV for more than 2 hours at a time, you're life expectancy decreases by 1.8 years and for women, it decreases by 1.5.

I guess Ryan and I better sleep less than 5 hours a day to increase our life expectancies, otherwise we're fucking screwed!

OMG Hilarious! - Debbie Downer

Former Saturday Night Live cast member Rachel Dratch skits one of the best "Debbie Downer" shows of all time.  The video below will have you rolling on the floor laughing so hard, you won't be able to get up.

For those of you who never seen the show, Debbie is a woman that can take any great situation or experience and turn it into crap with negativity, some of you might know people like that in real life.