Postman Pat's PET SEMATARY [NSFW and not for children]

OMG, this is like the best clay-mation movie, since, since, well.. "The Nightmare Before Christmas".

LOL, seriously, Postman Pat's Pet Sematary is not your ordinary cemetary.  Think of it more like, Stephen King's Pet Sematary.  

It's gruesome, its horrendous, and it's downright nasty.  It's not meant to be seen by children, and it's probably not a good idea to watch it at work either, but if you have headphones who's stopping you? :-)

OMG Hilarious! - Happy Halloween!

What a Hot Mess: G.O.P. is The New Black

As I was driving into work this morning listening to my morning conservative radio, (because you know, that's all you're allowed to listen to in Texas) I nearly got into a car accident.  No, it wasn't because Houston traffic was a hot mess, but rather, a billboard that looked like this...

This precious billboard along with another that reads "Martin Luther King, Jr. Was A Republican" can now be seen in Texas, South Carolina, Ohio, and coming soon to state near you!  Of course, this coming from a man who wears a silly little earring and calls himself a conservative activist.

Oh, and the man has a fascination with Ronald Reagan, as all Republican members of Congress and Presidential candidates do.

Because there was only one Reagan! The only place you're going to find the great Reagan now is in his beautiful tomb at his library, and in the memories of those that lived at the time of his service. There is no other Reagan! And, we should stop looking for such a creature. It's a waste of time. Ronald Reagan was put in the plans of God for just the time that he was needed. Reagan had the beliefs, the temperament, the personality, the skills and everything else that was needed for just that moment in American and world history. For once, 20th Century America got it right when it came to selecting its servant-in-chief. - Claver T. Kamau-Imani

What a hot mess!  I guess Mr. Kamau-Imani forgot that Reagan called the Voting Rights Act "humiliating," fired members of his Civil Rights Commission when they criticized his record and opposed the creation of Martin Luther King Day.  Hmmm, something's wrong with those billboards.

Oh yeah, and Martin Luther King wasn't a Republican.

I Quote That - Make Mistakes

Must Watch: Shark Pool - The Official Trailer

Absolutely hilarious!  Who hasn't seen a mysterious creature movie? Better yet, who hasn't seen a shark movie?  

I think I can speak for everyone reading this post, that Jaws was the best shark movie ever made.  Granted, Open Water is the best "most likely to happen" shark movie that's been seen in recent years, but with the release of Shark Night 3D this past summer, this has got to be the funniest parody of shark movie ever made.

OMG Hilarious! - Halloween Costumes

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 33 - Indifference

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Indifference".

The Young and Gorgeous Marlon Brando

Is it me, or does Marlon Brando from the younger years look a lot like this beautiful hottie...here and here?

Are You A Liberal?

Seriously, ask yourself why you would want to belong to a party who hates you so much?  I thank God everyday that I'm a Liberal!

The World's Fastest Car Crash Test

So, I think we all pretty much know what happens when a car crashes at 40 mph, right?  If not, it isn't a pretty sight.  This is the speed most car companies use to crash test their cars before they go into production.  They have to pass various safety tests.

But what if the car were to go the speed most cars can go up to, at 120 mph?  Check out this amazing footage from the television show, “Fifth Gear”.   They wanted to see how a Ford Focus would handle a crash at three times that speed.  Let's just say, it was obliterated.

Daylight Saving Time Explained

It's that time of year again.  Time to turn back the clocks and go back to Standard Time.  How many of you actually know why we have Daylight Saving Time?  

If you've ever been curious, this video does a great job of explaining it.  But should we even have this ridiculous time change every six months, year after year?  That is the question.

From the same guy who brought you  "Coffee: The Greatest Addiction Ever," comes this excellent video on Daylight Saving Time, and I actually learned more about it than I thought I knew.  Hope you enjoy it.

If you live in the States, make sure to turn back your watches and clocks at 2 AM Sunday, November 6. Unless you live in Arizona or Hawaii

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 32 - Silence Of The Pugs

OMG, I couldn't keep from laughing at this.  This is too fucking funny!  Sorry for the French, but I can't stop laughing.

Silence of the pug puppy is ready for Halloween!

Ryan and I usually dress up our 4 chihuahuas for Halloween, but we're going to forgo that this year.  Maybe Christmas , who knows.

Haboob or No Haboob, We're Getting Married!

This is what you call the power of love.  No dust storm was going to get in the way of this wedding.  Do you remember back in July when Arizona had a Haboob aka dust storm roll in through town?  If not, you can catch the amazing footage here.

These storms look like huge waves coming ashore, instead they are made of dust and roll through cities and towns.  Imagine the groom's reaction when he sees one coming upon his beautiful Arizona wedding.  And the bride isn't about to let it ruin her day.

Land Divided By Wealth

Robot Chicken: Give It Up, Sinestro [NSFW and not for children]

Absolutely hilarious. This small video clip from Adult Swim is actually better than the movie, Green Lantern. Sorry Ryan Reynolds, I still think you're hot.

Robot Chicken is dedicating one entire stop-motion special to lampooning the superheroes and villains from DC Comics, so Adult Swim's released the first-ever clip of one sad Green Lantern and his power ring. Yep, this isn't for kids.

"But power rings can do any thing with enough willpower!"
"Oh really, have you wiped out cancer on earth?"
"Uh..no..." 

"Having fingers is kind of a prerequisite"
 

The special episode is titled "RC/DC" — there's no set date for its release yet, but keep an eye out for it sometime during Summer 2012 on Adult Swim.

Discovering The Civil War

10/29 Update:

Ryan and I had so much fun at the Civil War exhibit yesterday. Looking at all the historical artifacts was amazing. To imagine that at one time in our nation's history people used what they had on display there, was awe-inspiring. From the uniforms worn by soldiers to the headgear and weaponry they used. From personal diaries and drawings to the tools of medicine at the time - all of it was fascinating. Documents upon documents were on display, and witnessing the atrocities that went on with slavery were unimaginable. Visiting the museum was truly a rewarding experience, and it's open until April 2012 for those who wish to visit the exhibit.  Simply click on the pic below or the links provided and you can learn more about the museum and it's exhibits..

Ryan and I will be Discovering The Civil War at the Houston Museum of Natural Science today, so I won't be around to blog;  But I look forward to getting back to my readers as soon as the time permits.  Enjoy this extremely gorgeous day!

OMG Hilarious! - Happy Birthday

War of the Roses - Fey & Jake

It's that time again, and this time it's a shocker.  Who does Jake send the flowers to?

If you're not familiar with my "War of the Roses" segment, then I suggest you read my first issue, here;  I wrote a detailed description on how it actually works.

This morning, Roula & Ryan spoke with Fey who's been married to her husband, Jake for about a year.  

Fey really loves to decorate for Halloween and the couple have decided to throw their first big party of the year - a Halloween party.  She sends Jake out shopping, where he also stops at a novelty store (exotic) to pick up a few items.  Fey didn't want anyone to see, so she quickly started taking things out of the SUV and placed them in the garage.  Just as she was about to finish she noticed something sticking out from underneath the spare tire.  She lifted up the carpet, and pushed up the spare tire and out came a bag full of naughty, naughty, hardcore stuff.  When she asks Jake about it, he says that it must have slipped underneath the tire, and goes on to explain that they are gag gifts.

Roula tells her that what she's saying is really nothing out of the ordinary.  Roula says that she's been to plenty of Halloween parties where they do this sort of thing.  Hand out gag gifts no one knows what to do with.  But Fey says, that one of the items was $88.  Ryan informs Roula that there is no way you're going to give an $88 dollar item as a gag gift.  Roula agrees.

In explaining how she found them, her husband told her the items must of just slipped underneath the spare tire.  Ryan quickly chimes in and says there is no way that a bag of stuff can slip underneath the tire and the carpet all at the same time, much less in an SUV.  "I have an SUV," he says.

She tells them that one of the main reasons she married Jake, was because he never lies, but this time she could tell.

Roula then asks Fey if Jake has ever given her a reason not to trust him, where she proceeds to say that there sex life has toned down a little, but not to the point he would be unfaithful.

Roula and Ryan share their thoughts on the matter, go over the rules of the "War," and ask her again if she really wants to go through with this.  Regardless of the outcome, Jake will have to know she made the call to the radio station to trick him into saying something he shouldn't have.

So how does the battle end?  Will Jake send the flowers to his loving wife, Fey, or will he send them to someone else?  What you find out will shock you.

And the war rages on.... 

Part 1


Part 2

Make sure to stay tuned each week, as this is a regular series on my blog.  Feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook, or email them. There's a little Facebook button right underneath this post where it says, "This Post Written By".

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 32 - Dogs vs. Work

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 25

Go get your gun.  Seriously.  After you take a look at today's issue of "Foods That Will Make You Fat", you will wish you had one, or use the one you got.

I'm going to say this only once.  That bitch, Paula Dean needs to go to prison.  She is going to kill everyone on this planet with her recipe ideas.  She's the reason we have all these idiots coming up with these insane concoctions.  Lady's Brunch Burger, really?

Lady's Brunch Burger

She's become a star on the Food Network and has been responsible for millions of lives.  This bitch needs to go to prison.  Her name is Paula Dean.  Okay, so I lied, I said it twice.  This woman who introduced us to heart attacks and strokes at an early age is not your average mother or grandmother.  Look at that yummy sandwich up there, isn't that a sandwich fit for a Lady?  Hell NO!  A lady wouldn't touch that if she had an ounce of class left in her.  A hamburger patty topped with a fried egg & bacon, in-between 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Are you kidding me? Does it make your mouth water? Ugh.. I'm done with her.

Surprise Cake

Doesn't this cake look delicious!  It looks like a yummy pineapple upside down cake, doesn't it?  Zoom in a little closer....  yeah, you see what I see!!!  SHRIMP and PIGGIES!   It's 2 layers of yellow cake with a sweet mayo frosting covered in ham and topped with shrimp, pineapple, mandarin oranges and a cherry.  The only good thing about this hot mess of cake..... it's only made in Sweden.  Supposedly it's very popular on kid's birthdays over there.  Now I don't know which country's worse.  And it's not called a surprise cake, it's called a Smorgastarta aka shrimp and ham cake.

The Atlanta Exit Wound

This is when you get your gun.  Do it now, because when I tell you what's in this hot mess of a pot, you will die regardless.  The bottle of hot sauce I can deal with, but when you say 4 packages of cream cheese, a bottle of blue cheese dressing (yes, a whole bottle), and 6 chopped chicken breasts, I.....

The Walking Dead - Literally!

In Indonesia a corpse is usually carried up to the grave, but not in the small village of Toraja; The corpse is woken up using black magic, allowing it to walk to its grave.  This is rarely performed anymore.

In Toraja the graves/cemeteries are placed above limestones in mountains.

The corpse walks by itself, and is guided by an expert in black magic behind it.  There is one prohibition, the corpse shouldn’t be appointed, once pointed, the corpse falls down and isn’t able to walk again.

I'm not sure what to make of it.  Check out this response after the jump...

The Joys of Being a Parent: Pre-Recorded Dad Reads To Daughter

A viewer's comment read like this: "Thank you for posting this! A splendid reminder of the fact that it is parental love that makes our world go round."

And that is so true!  This is the reason I came up with this series, "The Joys of Being a Parent", because I wanted to capture enduring moments of parents at their best.  In the video below you will see a military dad read a bed time story to his daughter, but it is pre-recorded. 

Daddy taped it for her, so that while he was away in Iraq she could watch and listen to him read a book to her.  It's simply adorable, and I commend this guy for being such an awesome parent!

OMG Hilarious! - Monsters

Seriously? WTF?

Un-fucking believable!  Seriously!  I'm sorry, for the French, but David Calvo, pictured left, manages to single-handedly solve a Rubik's Cube while juggling 2 more at the same time.  I mean, I've come to understand that if one can't chew gum and walk at the same time, they have issues.  But juggling and rubiking? Really? This is my way of solving the damn thing.

Anatomy Of A Muggle

A Charge To Keep

Last Friday, President Obama announced that the remaining American troops in Iraq will leave the country by the end of 2011. Here’s a quick reminder of the war’s price tag.

Pretty sad when you think about it.  This unnecessary war most importantly cost us nearly 5,000 American soldier's lives, over 30,000 severely wounded with complications they will endure for the rest of their lives, and 92,000 Iraqi civilians also perished.

If The World Were A Village of 100 People: Issue No. 8 - Fear

What if the world were a village of 100 people?  Using statistics based on the spread of the population in the world, Toby Ng Design created this poster as another way of looking at how our world is today.  

There are 12 more posters I will share with you in the coming weeks; This is the 8th of 20.  

If you missed any of the previous issues, click here.

 

Must Watch: Where Do We Go From Here?

I could not say it better if I tried.

This poignant video is what democracy is all about.  Be proud that you're an American.  Be proud that you live in a country where this can happen.  

These people protesting are not our enemies, they are not terrorists.  They are firefighters, teachers, chefs, soldiers, auto-workers, office employees, I mean, the list goes on.  It is atrocious what these policemen are doing, beating and arresting people.  By the end of the year some of those same cops are going to be out of a job.  Is this how they repay those who are trying to help them?  They should have arrested those damn crazy nut jobs we call the Tea Party, with their guns waving and shit.  They were out protesting several months ago and no one did shit.

"I've been there around six times now. Two with a video camera, two with a still camera, and two just without a camera. Each experience has been unique - and I have to say - it makes it easier for me to have the camera - it gives me more focus there. But just getting lost in the crowd can be beauitful. I was there Friday night starting around 11pm and I believe there was the General Assembly going on - watching the process - they were organizing smaller groups - was beautiful - watching direct democracy in action." - Ed David

Blade's Box of Jams: Track #9 - Psychosocial Baby

Currently listening to... 

Slipknot vs. Justin Bieber

If you never thought that a Justin Bieber song could sound so good, then you haven't heard this mashup of Slipknot and the Beebs.  I posted this on Facebook around March or so, and I had to post it again.  I have also added it to Blade's Box of Jams.

Isosine from YouTube put this amazing mashup together, and I'd have to say it sounds really fantastic! 

Isosine, also known as Steven Nguyen, was born into a Vietnamese family in the Regent Park projects in Toronto, Ontario. He led a very hard life, baking and selling crack cocaine with his crew at the tender age of four. On his sixth birthday, his father died, a tragic event that has impacted him for the rest of his life. A family friend, Lenny Chilelli helped out his mother, but he himself had a little daughter to raise, so his sustenance couldn’t carry on for long.

You can read more about Isosine on his Facebook page.

OMG Hilarious! - Costume

I Quote That - Choosing How

"Life is about choice. We are the sum of our choices. And most of them are made for us. You can't choose when you're born. You can't choose where you're born. You can't choose your family. You can't even choose who you love. But you can choose how you love." 

- From the comedy/drama, "I Think I Love My Wife"

What Do The Secret Circle and Kaboom Have In Common?

So I'm trying to understand what this new show's about.  I heard about it, and briefly read about it, but I actually thought it was a movie.  It turns out that it's a new television series on the CW called "The Secret Circle," which has something to do with witches.

Well, there's a character on the show named Adam, who by the way... I've been in love with since forever, who's played by the oh so wonderful, Thomas Dekker.  Say what you will, he's gay and he plays it well on T.V.  Another notable actor on the show is Gale Harold from Queer As Folk fame.  

On Thursday night's episode they introduced a character by the name of Jake, who's oh so yummy delicious!  And here's how I got confused.


Some of you may recognize Jake (Chris Zylka) from the very hot and steamy sex scenes he had with Dekker in the movie, Kaboom, which Ryan and I have yet to see.  I got that movie and this new show mixed up.  So the video clip below is from the movie, Kaboom, which really is unbelievably hot.  

I seriously doubt they can go too far with this new show, because it is after all, the CW.  But The Secret Circle series...

follows 16-year-old Cassie, who moves from California to live with her grandmother in New Salem and falls in love with a mysterious boy named Adam. But, when she enrolls in high school there, she realizes that he, she and all the other elite students at the school are witches! She befriends their leader, Diana, but soon discovers that Adam and Diana are dating, which leads to a whole bunch of complicated drama.

Here's Dekker and Zylka in Kaboom, who also star in The Secret Circle...

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 31 - Puppy Planking

I'm sorry, but this was too adorable not to post.  Who knew puppy planking even existed? Too cute!

And On The Eighth Day, God Created....

The Party Rock Anthem Halloween House

In the spirit of Halloween I bring you The Party Rock Anthem Halloween House!  Not as good as Ohio University's marching band, but quite entertaining.  Enjoy.

I Quote That - You Are My Sunshine...

When we met, I told you that a relationship would never work, unless the person you came to love became your one and only best friend.  Holding true to my words, we've become the bestest of friends and the greatest of lovers.

Words will never compare to how much you mean to me, Ryan Lopez, but just to let you know...  It's been nearly 6-1/2 years, and my love for you has never waivered. You continue to make me smile and laugh, but most importantly you make me feel loved...  You are my sunshine.

Dare To Fight A Ninja?

The next time you think you can fight a ninja, come prepared. This is no ordinary Ninja.  LMAO.  Absolutely genius!  I loved it!

The United States of Scary Things

I think this chart is close to accurate.  Especially when you talk about gambling addiction, mormons, the devil, and the lobster people. LOL.

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 32 - Incompetence

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Incompetence".

Must Listen: Mom and Facebook

And this is the reason my mom doesn't have Facebook.  Otherwise my sister and I would have these exact same voicemails. Absolutely hilarious, but ohhhh so very true!!!

Bry? Uhh... Melissa and Bethany and Aunt Susan said they all like my status.  What is that?  They commented on my status.  Is that the same thing as that thing you made up for me or what? Cause I don't quite get it.  Just let me know when you have enough time 'cause I'm going up to Cameron Park to go to the Wal-Mart I have to check on somethin' so... I have my phone on, 'kay?  I can't figure that out, what they're commenting on.  I wish they would have SAID something.  I think it's one of those 'likes'. But I don't know what they like.  What do they like? Okay, bye."

Isn't This The Truth? Percentage of Millionaires

So sad, but honestly true!