I grew up as a Christian - still am. My own father baptized me, because our Pastor was ill that particular Wednesday night. But being Christian is more than just believing in a higher being. Being Christian is loving your neighbor as thyself. And I can name a few who proclaim to say they love me, but it's more like "I love you, that's why I'm telling you you're living in sin and are going to hell. This thing you are, 'Gay' is an abomination!". Kinda funny since Jesus never mentioned anything about homosexuality.
Courtesy of the Huffington Post, I am using these images as part of today's "My Christian Thoughts". So if you're getting a haircut today, or going to work - I'm sorry, but you're damned to hell!
It's probably not a good idea to get any Tattoos. If you have some, get them removed.
Leviticus 19:28 states: Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. |
Thinking about getting a haircut? It better be certain kind or else.
Leviticus 19:27 states: Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard. |
If there's ever been a time where you've cursed your parents, I'm sorry but you should have been killed a long time ago.
Exodus 21:17 states: "And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." |
I sure hope your marriage lasts, because getting remarried after divorcing is not a good thing.
Mark 10:11-12 states: Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. |
Sorry men, but if you're private parts are injured or removed in some terrible accident. You're not allowed in the building of the Lord.
Deuteronomy 23:1 states: He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. |
If your husband gets into a fight, I recommend you wives better stay out of it. If you still want your hands!
Ahhh, for those who love to eat ham sandwiches, pork skins, or bacon!!!
You women need to keep your mouths shut. No, really.
Ohhh gossipers! None exist. LIE!!!!
Leviticus 19:16 states: Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the LORD. |
If you're going to work today - you better not. This is no time for typing, shoveling, or trying to support a family.
I'm not even going to go here, because the likelihood that you're a virgin before getting married is slim to none, and a lot of you women - men included - should have been put to death a long time ago.
And don't go talking to a Psychic, much less look for Harry Potter.
Leviticus 19:31 reads: Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God. |
Finally, for those who love their shrimp, lobster and many other types of seafood. You're Screwed!!!! See you in hell.
1 comment:
It just confounds me when religious people will scream up and down on how important it is to not be gay or to not live with each other before marriage. Especially some of these conservative parents that preach to their kids the "importance" of these ancient laws when they damn well know that they don't obey these scriptures themselves. The hypocrisy that exists in the church is stunning and sickening, and if people would just simply obey Jesus' most important request of all, love one another as you want to be loved, then all the arguments, ignorance, suffering, abuse, hate, war and death that stems from religion would never happened. God did not create the bible, man did, because an all knowing God would have never put passages in a book that he knew would cause such pain and agony.
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