“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” - RuPaul - - - - - - - - - - - “if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal.” - John F. Kennedy - - - - - - - - - - - - “Imagine finding someone you love more than anything in the world, who you would risk your life for but couldn’t marry. And you couldn’t have that special day the way your friends do – you know, wear the ring on your finger and have it mean the same thing as everybody else. Just put yourself in that person’s shoes. It makes me feel sick to my stomach …. When I shared a picture of my tattoo on my Twitter page and said, ‘ALL LOVE is equal,’ a lot of people mocked me – they said, ‘What happened to you? You used to be a Christian girl!’ And I said, ‘Well, if you were a true Christian, you would have your facts straight. Christianity is about love.’ The debate resulted in a lot of threats and hate mail to people who agreed and disagreed with me. At one point I had to say, ‘Dude, everyone lay off.’ Can’t people have friendly debates about sensitive topics without it turning into unnecessary threats?” - Pop star Miley Cyrus on her marriage equality tattoo - - - - - - - - - - -
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Thursday, September 8, 2011

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 19

Trust me, it's not easy writing about Foods That Will Make You Fat, but I feel it's something I should do. Really, it is. 

I mean, how else are you going to see what's causing you an early death? If anything, I'll keep you from creating these monstrosities!

Seriously, some of these foods will have you skip breakfast, lunch and dinner altogether!  You'll be on the Tic-Tac diet sooner than you think.

Flapjack Fiasco
Let's play read along... pancake; cookie dough; pancake; peanut butter and jelly; pancake; chocolate and bananas; pancake; caramel, oreo, marshmallow, sprinkles, M&M’s; pancake; caramel buttercream frosting granished with Trix cereal.  Geezus! I gained 5 pounds just by reading all the crap that's in this hot mess of a meal. Yep, breakfast skipped this morning.

The Meat Baby
Awww, a cutsie, wootsie baby.  NO!  A MEAT BABY!  Really?  What the hell will people come up with next?  This is not only disgusting, its just plain fucking wrong.  Why on earth would someone want to create a meatloaf of a baby?  And using bacon as a diaper nonetheless!  There is some serious Silence of the Lambs craziness going on here.  Lunch skipped.

Fool's Gold Loaf Sandwich
Loaf of hollowed out bread filled with creamy peanut butter, a jar of grape jelly, and a pound of bacon.  Did you get that?  A POUND of bacon!  Yes, someone out there is making this delicious meal right now.  I don't have the statistics, but I'm going to say every 30 seconds one of these is made around the world.  I'm done!  Ryan, forget about dinner tonight.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

2 comments:

Ryan said...

The meat baby reminds me about that racist joke that you always tell. What was it again? Oh yeah, when God made man he took the white people out of the oven too soon, leaving them pale and undercooked. He left the black people in too long, leaving them burnt and overcooked. But when it came to the brown Latinos, they came out perfect 'cause he cooked them in just right.

Unknown said...

LOL, I didn't think it was racist. Was it? Geez, never know what to say anymore. LOL

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