Post Secret Fridays - Issue 116

 PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

 See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

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What a Hot Mess: Gaming at Wal-Mart

You see, this is what happens when you sit around all day doing nothing.  What a Hot Mess! 
 
Thank God I did nothing but play outside when I was a child.  But then again, we didn't have the luxury of online gaming and consoles to keep us inside. Or is this truly a luxury?

Look, maybe I shouldn't be so judgmental with this, because I've lost 61 pounds over the last 8 months.  But I did this in my later years and "I" chose to eat the things I did. When we were children, parents made those decisions.  They told us to go biking, or play at the park.  As a matter of fact, we did have a game console... It was ATARI, but this game in a box didnt' define who we were.  We wanted to play Superman and Wonder Woman, and run around all day long.  I know, it's the little things in life that made us happy. LOL.

When You Lose Fat...

Yesterday, Facebook friend, Tim Arquette posted a photo on his wall that honestly, made me really sad to look at.  Probably because it's a disheartening reality and I can attest to it -- I've lived it.

A majority of Americans today are obese, and the statistics are not getting any better.  While fast food restaurants are now offering healthier choices, it's not always about what you eat, but how much.  If you order a healthy salad with ranch dressing and cheese sprinkled on it, you might as well order a Big Mac.  Please be attentive to your choices.

I look at this picture and I see myself over a year ago.  Seriously.  I wasn't depressed, but I definitely had Degenerative Joint Disease, Hypertension, Hypercholesterolemia, Pre-diabetes, Obstructive Sleep Apnea, and my Quality of Life wasn't too great.  When I go see my doctor in May, he's in for a surprise.  My knees are healthy as ever, I no longer have sleep apnea, pre-diabetes, and my quality of life has never been better!  I'm hoping when he checks my blood pressure and cholesterol this will also be resolved.

So please share this image or blog post, because it truly is important and it could help save a life.

Just Sayn'

Fat Chance

Wow - A Real 70 Day Transformation

In the fall of 2009 Chris Krueger suffered a back injury, which in turn led to months and months of eating unhealthy food. He literally got fat!  In the following video he tells you that he, "really don't understand how anyone could eat like this" while feasting away at what looks like an Ihop or Denny's.

Furthermore Chris goes on to say, that during his 70 day transformation he used no pills, powders, protein bars, vitamins, supplements, workout DVDs or extreme workout programs like P90X.  Just proper training and real nutrition.

What Chris looks like at Day 69...

Check out Chris 6 months and 269 days later after the jump...

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 084

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

 

  See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

 Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

 

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 25

Go get your gun.  Seriously.  After you take a look at today's issue of "Foods That Will Make You Fat", you will wish you had one, or use the one you got.

I'm going to say this only once.  That bitch, Paula Dean needs to go to prison.  She is going to kill everyone on this planet with her recipe ideas.  She's the reason we have all these idiots coming up with these insane concoctions.  Lady's Brunch Burger, really?

Lady's Brunch Burger

She's become a star on the Food Network and has been responsible for millions of lives.  This bitch needs to go to prison.  Her name is Paula Dean.  Okay, so I lied, I said it twice.  This woman who introduced us to heart attacks and strokes at an early age is not your average mother or grandmother.  Look at that yummy sandwich up there, isn't that a sandwich fit for a Lady?  Hell NO!  A lady wouldn't touch that if she had an ounce of class left in her.  A hamburger patty topped with a fried egg & bacon, in-between 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Are you kidding me? Does it make your mouth water? Ugh.. I'm done with her.

Surprise Cake

Doesn't this cake look delicious!  It looks like a yummy pineapple upside down cake, doesn't it?  Zoom in a little closer....  yeah, you see what I see!!!  SHRIMP and PIGGIES!   It's 2 layers of yellow cake with a sweet mayo frosting covered in ham and topped with shrimp, pineapple, mandarin oranges and a cherry.  The only good thing about this hot mess of cake..... it's only made in Sweden.  Supposedly it's very popular on kid's birthdays over there.  Now I don't know which country's worse.  And it's not called a surprise cake, it's called a Smorgastarta aka shrimp and ham cake.

The Atlanta Exit Wound

This is when you get your gun.  Do it now, because when I tell you what's in this hot mess of a pot, you will die regardless.  The bottle of hot sauce I can deal with, but when you say 4 packages of cream cheese, a bottle of blue cheese dressing (yes, a whole bottle), and 6 chopped chicken breasts, I.....

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 24

Lord have mercy on my soul.  Please forgive me!  I only post this weekly segment, because I want to showcase everyone's creative ideas in the kitchen. Honest! 

I mean, where would we be without our "Porkgasms", "The Spamsicle", "The Fat Koko", "The Thunderdome", and "The Meat Baby"?

Oh. I know. In hell!!!

The Fat Monkey

After you eat this crap, YOU WILL be a Fat Monkey.  If the two slices of chocolate chip banana bread weren't enough, you've gone ahead and added layers of Nutella, bananas and marshmallow creme.  And you don't stop there.  You decide to dip it in cake batter and deep fry it, because frying will add 200 more grams of FAT.  You see, this is usually where I stop.  But noooooooo, there's more....  You can't forget to dip it in melted chocolate and roll it in toasted almonds and coconut.  Shoot me now!

Grease Lightning

Yum, I've always wanted to make this dish..  I'm lying.

Why the hell would I go to Jack In The Box and buy an order of curly fries, head to McDonald's and buy a box of chicken nuggets, drive to Furr's to buy a chicken fried steak, stop by Sonic to buy a corn dog, and  park myself at Wal-Mart to get some pizza rolls?  Why? Why would I do such a ridiculous thing?  Because I want to make that fabulous dish, up there?  NO, because I want to kill myself by adding even more ingredients, like chili, bacon and sliced hot dogs.

The Sexy 'Smore

Doesn't this dessert look utterly delicious?  Look at all that raspberry jam oozing out of that graham cracker sandwich filled with peanut butter, marshmallows and milk chocolate.  You achieve this by microwaving the ingredients until the fillings reach a liquid consistency.  Unless you live in South Texas, where you can just leave it on the counter until it eventually melts.

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 23

Are people really this stupid?  Oh wait!

Sorry, wrong segment.  This is about Foods That Will Make You Fat, Right?

You're probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me, but after witnessing a Porkgasm for the first time, I absolutely lost it.  I couldn't remember whether I was coming or going.  Seriously, who comes up with these terrible concoctions?  Is it a sin to eat these type of foods?  Or is it a sin to overindulge yourself with food? I forget.

The Porkgasm

Shoot me now!  No. Really.  I don't even know what to say about this hot mess of a recipe.  The piggy above consists of bacon strips, bacon sausage, ham sausage, ham slices, smoked pork sausage and roasted pork belly surrounded by ground sausage, wrapped in bacon and roasted. Oh, and you can't forget the garnish, chili peppers for the ears and tail - the only fat free thing on this god-forsaken plate.  And what the hell is bacon sausage?

Egg n' Ham Sammich

Awww, why don't we give this horrible sandwich a cute little name like "sammich."  Really?  What idiot came up with this crazy mess?  And why would they use only 11 eggs and not a full dozen?  Whatever. This regular ham and cheese sandwich comes complete with 11 sunny-side up egg yolks, bread, ham and cheese.  Doesn't it look appetizing?

Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger

The Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger consists of the following: two sausage and pepperoni pizzas (serving as the bun), a 5-pound hamburger patty, two pounds of bacon, and two pounds cheese (plus an onion and two bulbs of garlic).  You think I'm kidding don't you?  You think I come up with all this crap on my own and just post it for laughs, right?  DAMMIT, YOU'RE WRONG!  Here's the other 9 pictures that preceded the one up above.

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 22

I know all of you enjoy this particular segment.  Who doesn't want to know what other people are eating?  Who doesn't want to know what will surely cause them an early death?  Foods That Will Make You Fat, keeps you informed of all the latest trends in eatery.  Even though fast food restaurants are guilty of introducing us to ridiculous concoctions, most of these foods are put together by regular folks like you and me.  What drives one to create a hot mess of a recipe?

The Pizza Cone

This crazy idea gained popularity in Brazil, Portugal, and Italy, when a banker thought it would be a brilliant idea to introduce it to the fattest country in the world.  Did you hear that?  The fattest country in the world!  People are so excited that some are saying "You can totally walk with it, and you don't have the oil dripping all over you."  Key words: Oil and Dripping.  I guess it isn't such a crazy idea, it's a hit in Manhattan, New York.

The Fat Elvis

Really?  We all know Elvis was fat in his later years, but do we need to be reminded why he died.  I mean... this sandwich is stuffed with butter, peanut butter, bananas, bacon, honey and confectioner's sugar.  Not only will you become diabetic, but you'll collapse while cooking this shit.

The Spamsicle

Who the hell created this monstrosity?  Seriously? If I wanted some type of "sicle" in my menu, it definitely wouldn't be a deep fried piece of processed meat.  And with the beaten eggs, seasoned flour, and Japanese bread crumbs added you'll have enough carbs to last for the rest of year, if not your life.  So much for your Atkins diet.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 21

Can you believe I've posted 21 issues of "Foods That Will Make You Fat"?  It seems like just yesterday when I started this series.  I wonder how many of you have changed their eating habits over the past several months.  I know I have.  I'm currently on the TicTac diet.

Just kidding.  I'm not on no diet, but I am making a better judgement on my food choices and trying to eat healthier.  Trust me, if you were to eat half the crap I post on this site, you wouldn't be alive today.

Cheesy Mac n Rib

What more could you ask for in a cheesy sandwich?  In this delicious sandwich you have your 2 oz of unsalted butter, 1-1/2 oz. of Mayonaise, 1 cup of your favorite macaroni & cheese recipe, 1/4 of small onion cut into 1/4 strips, 2 teaspoons of butter (regular butter this time), 1/2 cup of pulled piggie meat, 1/4 cup of your favorite BBQ sauce and 3 slices of sharp cheddar cheese.  Oh and I forgot the 2 slices of buttermilk bread. 'Nuff said.

Fried Chicken Skin

When I first read about this, I almost threw up.  Who in their right mind would eat this crap? Really?  You know what - scratch that.  I vividly remember my sister loving to eat the skin off the chicken.  Then again.... we do eat it when we have fried chicken, don't we?  So why not sell it by itself, right?  Don't worry, KFC will have it available in a sandwich soon.

The Fat Koko

Look at that sandwich, what can you see?  Honestly, all I can see is bread, maybe roast beef, and fries possibly.  Well... it actually comes with a bread roll, cheesesteak, mozzarella sticks, french fries, and hot sauce.  Seriously, how can anyone bite into this? Look at the girth on that sandwich.  Geez.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 20

I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or scream "STOP!" while searching for today's Foods That Will Make You Fat.  I came across these ridiculous concoctions that made me laugh, and quite frankly I thought I had lost it.  LOL.

What makes people come up with these ideas is beyond me. I can't imagine sitting at my table writing a new recipe, and asking myself, "hmmm, I wonder what waffles, cheese and hamburger meat would taste like?"

The Thunderdome

Oh Lord Jesus, please help me.  Three stacks of bacon, sausage, elk meat, onions and cheese between tortillas all topped with sour cream, two fried eggs and scallions.  Elk meat? Really?  I feel sorry for the poor animal that died just to be made into this pile of hot mess!

Hot Beef Sundae

I honestly don't want to know, but it looks like roast beef, mashed potatoes, cheese, and a cherry tomato on top.  And who knows what else is underneath that pile of crap.  OMG! That is so disgusting!  I guess this gives a whole new meaning to the popular side, "Loaded Mashed Potatoes".

Cheeseburger Waffles

You thought I was kidding when I wrote my piece up at the top, didn't you?  But seriously?  Why would you take my Eggo and do this to it?  I want syrup, not cheddar cheese and ground beef smothered all on top of it.  The least you could have done was add bacon!

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 19

Trust me, it's not easy writing about Foods That Will Make You Fat, but I feel it's something I should do. Really, it is. 

I mean, how else are you going to see what's causing you an early death? If anything, I'll keep you from creating these monstrosities!

Seriously, some of these foods will have you skip breakfast, lunch and dinner altogether!  You'll be on the Tic-Tac diet sooner than you think.

Flapjack Fiasco

Let's play read along... pancake; cookie dough; pancake; peanut butter and jelly; pancake; chocolate and bananas; pancake; caramel, oreo, marshmallow, sprinkles, M&M’s; pancake; caramel buttercream frosting granished with Trix cereal.  Geezus! I gained 5 pounds just by reading all the crap that's in this hot mess of a meal. Yep, breakfast skipped this morning.

The Meat Baby

Awww, a cutsie, wootsie baby.  NO!  A MEAT BABY!  Really?  What the hell will people come up with next?  This is not only disgusting, its just plain fucking wrong.  Why on earth would someone want to create a meatloaf of a baby?  And using bacon as a diaper nonetheless!  There is some serious Silence of the Lambs craziness going on here.  Lunch skipped.

Fool's Gold Loaf Sandwich

Loaf of hollowed out bread filled with creamy peanut butter, a jar of grape jelly, and a pound of bacon.  Did you get that?  A POUND of bacon!  Yes, someone out there is making this delicious meal right now.  I don't have the statistics, but I'm going to say every 30 seconds one of these is made around the world.  I'm done!  Ryan, forget about dinner tonight.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 18

Ooooh, check out all the yummy goodness below.  Isn't your mouth salivating over these fine foods that will make you fat?  My tummy is screaming for them right now.  If it's not, you and your tummy have issues. 

I mean, who wouldn't want to eat something titled "Deep Fried Cheese-Stuffed Portabello Mushroom Cheeseburger"?

Ultimate Snack Stadium

Go ahead and call a doctor so that he can be on hand when I collapse on the floor from eating all those damn twinkies.  The stadium comes complete with Slim Jim goalposts, reservoirs of queso and salsa for the end zones, fans made from assorted snack foods and the stadium itself constructed from 58 Twinkies.

Deep Fried Cheese-Stuffed Portabello Mushroom Cheeseburger

Say that 5 times, quickly! Do it now! Geezus...  Who doesn't like anything stuffed?  I know you gay boys do :-) he he.  Seriously, it's true, you're not stuffed between two gorgeous guys like you dreamed it could be, instead you have a big ass mushroom stuffed with cheese, stuffed between two beef patties smothered in cheese, stuffed between a huge hamburger bun dripping with cheese.  It's a heart-clogging cheese galore!

Tater Tots with Cheese Extravaganza

Ahhhh, the lovely tater tots with cheese.  But these aren't you're regular "Sonic" tater tots with cheese, these are tots smothered in cheddar and mozarella cheeses, covered in Jalapeno's with bits of tomatoes and some black olives.  Throw on some sour cream and salsa, and you have you're next regurgitated meal!  Okay, I've had enough.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 17

We continue with another fabulous issue of "Foods That Will Make You Fat".  And in today's issue you will have the joy of checking out three fabulous meals that will convince you to jump off a ship, or throw yourself in front of moving vehicle; Going at a very high speed of course. LOL

Fat Circus Waffle

Seriously, if you want Captain Crunch, Ice Cream or A Waffle, why can't you just eat a serving of one product for breakfast?  Do you really need all three of these high-carb, diabetes-inducing, heart-stopping crap right before you head into work or school?  And you can't forget the chocolate sauce and sprinkles. Can't forget the sprinkles!

In'N'Out "animal style" Fries

I'm about to barf just watching this hot mess.  Ugh. that's disgusting! I can't even look at the picture as I type this.  All I'm going to say is it looks like some type of Sloppy Joe mixture, with cheese, french fries and some "special sauce".  That is just nasty.

Bacon-wrapped Meatloaf

We can never be done with bacon, everybody loves that shit. From bacon bits to bacon-wrapped Jalapenos; Bacon is the meat of the decade.  But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of making a meatloaf with macaroni and cheese in the middle, and with bacon wrapped all around it.  If you don't have a heart-attack after eating this mess, then you must be doing something right.