How To Tell If Your's Son Is Gay

The new Android app called, "Is My Son Gay".  Has been causing a lot of fuss lately, but I think it's actually kinda funny.  The questions are absolutely hilarious and stupid.  

For example, "Are you divorced?, Does he like football?, Before he was born did you wish he would be a girl?, Does he like Diva singers?, Does he have a tongue, nose or ear piercing?"

No, I didn't download the damn thing.  But I did want to share this hilarious list by Richard Lawson over at Gawker that I found was more in par with finding out if your son is gay or not.

• If you come home from work and you hear noises upstairs and you go up to investigate and your son's door is open and you catch him "hooking up" (as kids call it today) with his friend Michael, and you quickly turn around and walk back downstairs and later that night over dinner you say "You know, honey, if there's ever anything you need to tell me..." and he says "Mom, I'm gay," then your son is gay.
• If your son has recently gone to college and hasn't been in touch much and you figure hey he's new to college, he's busy making friends and whatnot, and then late one night he calls you on the phone sounding upset about something and you ask him what's wrong and he's quiet for a while and then says "Nothing's wrong, really, I'm just... Dad, I'm gay," then your son is gay.
• Has your son ever been on a long drive to one of your daughter's swim meets with you and when stopped at a red light he's turned to you and said "Mom, I feel like I owe it to you and dad to tell you that, well, Donald is my boyfriend. I'm gay"? Then your son is probably gay.
• Chances are that if you are on your deathbed and your estranged son comes to visit you in the middle of a rainy night and he sits by your bed quietly until he begins to cry and clutches your hand and says "I wish I'd told you sooner that I'm gay" and then you both stay there in silence, you pretending to be asleep, the only noise the beeping of the machines that will only keep you alive for a little while longer, your son is gay.
• If you and your spouse are ever visiting your son in the big city he now lives in with all his fancy friends and fancy restaurants and you're out to an awkward lunch before your train home and you three get into another pointless fight about years-old stuff and it's really uncomfortable and finally you or your spouse says "Well, if you'd just settle down with the right girl, I think-" and then your son interrupts you by yelling "Guys, I'm GAY. Gay gay gay, gay as gay gets. Have you seen where I live, I mean... God you two are thick. I'm gay. Deal with it," and then you sit there uncomfortably until the check comes and he gives you stiff hugs at the train station and you don't see him or talk to him until Christmas, then he is gay.
• If your wacky son brings a boy home for dinner after play practice and you two are joking while you do the dishes and he says to you "Hey Ma, so... I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is!" and then you laugh and muss his hair and in the living room your husband shows your son's boyfriend his model ships, then your son is probably gay, though he might be bisexual, so be careful about labeling.
• If your son ever says "Oh my goodness," when surprised or when opening a gift, well then yeah, he's probably gay.

What Keeps a Gay Man in Shape?

FEAR!

Yep, and "this is brought about because gay men are afraid that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. If a gay man is not "serving body" while competing to find a trick or boyfriend in one of the more muscle-bound climates of gay culture, he will be sorely shut out. That is why gay men don't get fat, because if they don't have pecs, guns, and glutes, they're going home alone." - Brian Moylan on Simon Doonan's new book, "Gay Men Don't Get Fat".

Moylan goes on to say there are three things a gay man wants; to get buff, married, and stay buff.  And the reason?  Threesomes!  

He says "there are countless committed gay couples out there who like to either play on the side or invite guest stars into their beds. And you're not going to get any A-list guest stars if you're giving D-list torso with a four-star gut. Yes, gay men go to the gym to stay competitive, but since the man-eating marathon doesn't end after marriage, they just keep on competing and competing until death do they part."

While this is not the case for many gay couples, Moylan did write some very interesting points in his Gawker article.  The Instinct article left out a majority of what Brian had to say, but that sure didn't keep Instinct commenters from posting harsh comments about him.

Craigslist Republicans, Gay Republicans; What's Next?

 "I have to work this out with my wife." —Craigslist Congressman Christopher Lee, to Fox News.

Why is it that so many Republican congressmen or senators are outed more often than not, IE. Mark Foley, Larry Craig and countless others?  There's even the possibility that Lindsey Graham will be outed soon, as well But it isn't so much that they are outed, but moreso the fact, they push for legislation banning gays from having rights, they promulgate their agenda of hatred and fool their constituents into believing they are God-fearing men.

photos by gawker

YOU'RE GAY! GET OVER IT!

They are so deep-rooted in their religious beliefs that they think they can fool everyone.  Well they fool the religious-right and conservatives alike.

I know that I've gone off subject, but I find it completely laughable that these men would rather humiliate themselves while in office, than be open about who they are from the beginning. And 99 percent of the time, these men are married with children.

Congressman Lee wasn't gay, but finding himself plastered all over the Craigslist Personals site half-naked wasn't a smart move either.


Read more about it at Gawker.com