Before Don't Ask Don't Tell was abolished a surviving partner may or may not have been notified of the death of their loved one, may or may not have been allowed to claim the body, attend the military burial and definitely would NOT receive the survivor's benefits. Furthermore, the surviving partner could lose their home, their property, depending on their state. The soldier's family could even petition in court for half of all property and holdings. And this is still going on, because DADT only allows you not to lie or keep it a secret that you're gay.
The song titled, "Lover" tells a story very rarely told: of the loss endured by partners of gay servicemembers who are killed in battle.The video features the artist, Tom Goss as the bereaved partner of an army soldier (Washinton DC actor Ben Horen) killed while on duty in Afghanistan. Among those playing medics who come to the aid of the wounded soldier are several former servicemembers who were discharged under the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy: Mike Almy, David Hall, and Danny Hernandez, all of whom are active members of SLDN. Keith Bryant stars as a fellow soldier.

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