Cyanide and Happiness: The Younger Comic Generation

Loving One Another - Issue No. 019

Love is like magic
And it always will be.
For love still remains
Life's sweet mystery!!

Love works in ways
That are wondrous and strange
And there's nothing in life
That love cannot change!!

Love can transform
The most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace.

Love is unselfish,

Understanding and kind,

For it sees with its heart

And not with its mind!!

Love is the answer

That everyone seeks...

Love is the language,

That every heart speaks.

Love can't be bought,

It is priceless and free,

Love, like pure magic,

Is life's sweet mystery!!"

                                                                            ~Helen Steiner Rice

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words - Issue No. 9

The last issue of "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words" was nearly a year ago.  I know - that's crazy; March 13, 2012 to be exact.  

In either case, for those who haven't seen my previous issues I started this series as a way to introduce my readers to the world of art through words.  And by words, I mean where the artist has taken several hundred pieces of text and created a masterpiece; it could be a self-portrait, landscape or still-life.  It's called Typographical Art, much like a typographical quote you see posted on a Facebook news feed from time to time. But with hundreds, if not thousands of words instead of just a few.

A Man of His Word

Click on the image and then click on the image again to see every detail up close!

Today's issue is nothing short of amazing.  The artist known simply as Straye-Close spent over 150 hours creating this masterpiece.  Every whisker, every wrinkle, every feature uses a word describing something.  From the name, Morgan Porterfield Freeman Jr., movies he's been in, characters of the people he's played in those movies, awards he has won, and almost every quote he could find for those films.  Truly an extraordinary piece of art!

Isn't This The Truth? The Science of Dogs

The following chart is too hilarious, but oh so true.  Think about it...  When are dogs afraid of bears, snakes, oncoming traffic, or in mine and Ryan's case, bigger dogs?  Never!  But bring out the Vacuum Cleaner and they run like a bat out of hell.

Saturday Night Live: The Walking Dead

If you've never seen The Walking Dead on TNT, then you might not get some of the references made to the show.  

In the following SNL skit, the group tries to avoid any type of racism or political incorrectness.  LOL.

The Sun As You've Never Seen It Before!

This video is pretty darn amazing.  I love science, the planets, and Star Trek!!!  LOL.  Seriously though, NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory put this together and it's absolutely stunning.

About the video - "This extraordinary video looks back on the 3rd year of operation of NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory. Since its launch in 2010, SDO's data and imagery have exceeded everyone's hopes and expectations, providing stunningly detailed views of the sun. The observatory has continued to return breathtaking pictures and movies of eruptive events on the sun. These images are more than just pretty. By highlighting different wavelengths of light, scientists can track how material on the sun moves. Such movement, in turn, holds clues as to what causes these giant explosions."

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 53 - Pretension

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Pretension".

 

My Christian Thoughts - Issue #3 - 13 Things The Bible Forbids (That You're Probably Guilty of Doing)

You mean apart from speeding? Because you know everyone does it.  LOL.  

I grew up as a Christian - still am.  My own father baptized me, because our Pastor was ill that particular Wednesday night.  But being Christian is more than just believing in a higher being.  Being Christian is loving your neighbor as thyself.  And I can name a few who proclaim to say they love me, but it's more like "I love you, that's why I'm telling you you're living in sin and are going to hell.  This thing you are, 'Gay' is an abomination!".  Kinda funny since Jesus never mentioned anything about homosexuality.

Courtesy of the Huffington Post, I am using these images as part of today's "My Christian Thoughts".  So if you're getting a haircut today, or going to work - I'm sorry, but you're damned to hell!

It's probably not a good idea to get any Tattoos.  If you have some, get them removed.

Leviticus 19:28 states:
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Thinking about getting a haircut?  It better be certain kind or else.

Leviticus 19:27 states:
Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

If there's ever been a time where you've cursed your parents, I'm sorry but you should have been killed a long time ago.

Exodus 21:17 states:
"And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death."

I sure hope your marriage lasts, because getting remarried after divorcing is not a good thing.

Mark 10:11-12 states:
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Sorry men, but if you're private parts are injured or removed in some terrible accident.  You're not allowed in the building of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 23:1 states:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

If your husband gets into a fight, I recommend you wives better stay out of it.  If you still want your hands!

Deuteronomy 25:11-12 states:
When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets

Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.

Ahhh, for those who love to eat ham sandwiches, pork skins, or bacon!!!

Leviticus 11:7-8 reads:
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.

Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

You women need to keep your mouths shut.  No, really.

1 Corinthians 14:34-35 states:
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Ohhh gossipers!  None exist. LIE!!!!

Leviticus 19:16 states:
Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the LORD.

If you're going to work today - you better not.  This is no time for typing, shoveling, or trying to support a family.

Exodus 31:14-15 states:
"Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people.

Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.

I'm not even going to go here, because the likelihood that you're a virgin before getting married is slim to none, and a lot of you women - men included - should have been put to death a long time ago.

Deuteronomy 22:20-21 states:
But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you

And don't go talking to a Psychic, much less look for Harry Potter.

Leviticus 19:31 reads:
Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God.

Finally, for those who love their shrimp, lobster and many other types of seafood.  You're Screwed!!!!  See you in hell.

Leviticus 10-11 states:
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:

They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 58 - Meet Chris P. Bacon

I'm a little behind with the timing of this video, but not too far.  Chris P. Bacon is a celebrity now.  He's been in the news cycle for the past month.  Little Chris here was born without the use of his hind limbs, but this little guy is no quitter!  One YouTube commenter wrote,  "is the pig unhappy".  And the owner gleefully replied, "of course not, I wish I had his life... talk about pampered!"  The video is too darn cute.

I do my best not to cook with pork for the sake of my partner Ryan, and watching this makes it even harder.  I love piggies!

 

Cyanide and Happiness - Divorce

Just Sayn'

Saturday Morning Coffee Break: Silver Road

It's time to brew yourself some coffee, kick-back, relax and watch another issue of Saturday Morning Coffee Break.

I posted this video on MySpace four years ago, and the issue focuses on two young men, Danny and Mark who have been friends all their lives until one day they find themselves in the awkward position of saying goodbye to one another.

While many may argue that there's already too many films where one guy  comes out and destroys a friendship - it still happens.  It still happens because our society allows it to happen.  Yes, it's getting easier and easier to come out as each year passes, but there are millions who are still keeping this tiny little secret - and some way into their marriages.  The film, written and directed by Bill Taylor is really good, and I encourage anyone to watch it.
 

Things That Make You Go Hmmm... Wanna Chalk Ants?

If you have ants coming into your house, make a chalk line, but use only the white chalk; they won't cross it, it sticks to their footsies. Hmmm....

So here's the best answer I read online, "chalk is made of of calcium carbonate, a nontoxic substance. It doesn't repel ants or immediately kill them. Ants would prefer to avoid crossing chalk if possible, because the chalk particles can puncture their skin and SLOWLY kill them by dehydration. I have used regular chalk, and it hasn't been particularly effective. I tried drawing a circle around a bunch of ants. In desperation, they crossed the line anyway.

However, there are some toxic chalks sold illegally in Chinese markets. These chalks contain lead and mercury compounds (along with who knows what else). I've seen these chalks in action before. Ants die immediately on crossing the line. Most ants avoid it though. It strongly repels them."

Then again, eHow home tells you to go to the Dollar Store and buy some cheap chalk.  Go figure.

Things that make you go hmmm... 

Isn't This The Truth? Diary of a TV Addict

Omg, this is so freaking hilarious!  Only because it's so true!  Especially for those who can not stay awake to read a book, but yet can stay on Facebook and Twitter all day long. Check the video out, it's pretty darn funny.

What Your Bedroom Wear Says About You

So what does your bedtime attire say about you?  LOL.  Do you wear pajamas, a snuggie, tighty-whities, a robe or simply nothing?  

[bite]

 

Cyanide and Happiness: Only The Lord Jesus Can Judge Us

San Angelo & The Grape Creek Bully

I saw this video posted on my Facebook news feed yesterday afternoon and it got me really upset.  It makes me sick that some people think bullying is okay.  IT IS NOT!

The video was posted by Andrea Disman, the boy's mother.  She clearly was at odds at what to do, but with the help of her friends and family she is moving forward and pressing charges.  I'm so fucking happy!!!  Ugh.  Excuse my French, but when you see the video you will understand.  If this was your child what would you do?  Sit around?  I don't think so.

I'm sharing this, because it just happened the day before yesterday in San Angelo, Texas.  San Angelo is located northwest of Austin.

In my humble opinion, everyone in that locker room who did not help this boy should be prosecuted!! Even the one who recorded it and thought it was funny.  This is an utter shame. The initial report  was done yesterday!  Way to go Andrea - you have supporters!

Pay Raise Time!!!

Today starts off with a bang!  Our annual salary increases go into effect at the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center - woohoo!  Over the years I've used different calculators, but the last time I had pushed for a promotion I used this one and it's really great.  Whether you're requesting an increase in pay or simply want to know how much your getting.  Fill out the following information and you'll get your answer.

I highly recommend raisecalculator.com - it is my favorite of all calculators.  As you can see in the images I provided, you will enter your current pay rate - Annually, Monthly, Semi-Monthly, Bi-Weekly, Weekly or Hourly;  Enter the percent of increase, the hours worked per week and Ta-Da! You'll have your raise broken down into increments. [image 2]

You will want to click on the images to enlarge.

I Now Know What The Harlem Shake Is

So apparently I'm not up to date with latest YouTube memes, and didn't know what a Harlem Shake was until someone pointed it out to me last night.

So I did a little research and this is what I found...

Exactly, the University of Nebraska's Gymnastics Team doing the "Harlem Shake".

Um, I'm not complaining, but why didn't I join Gymnastics when I was in high school or college? Lord have mercy.  Is it me or do none of these guys have an ounce of fat on them?

So if you're interested in watching the Nebraska Huskers beat the Oklahoma Sooners you still have time.  They have a meet this Sunday, March 3rd.

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 106

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

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