Dear FedEx...

You see, this is what happens when you piss someone off who's been waiting all damn day for a package to arrive.  I've done it before.  Wait and wait and wait and wait, and sometimes it's not even FedEx or UPS, sometimes it's the damn repair man or cable guy looking to install your new DVR.  Bastards!  We've all been there.

Glove and Boots: Zombie University

My favorite little puppets, Glove and Boots are back, and this time they're taking on Zombies!  Back in July they gave us the ten reasons why they hated facebook, and it was downright hilarious.  But since zombies are now ruling television, movie screens, children's books, and almost every form of media, they attended...

Remember these 3 fundamentals... and on judgement day, you'll be o..k...  lol.

1.  If Zombie bites you...you become zombie...
2.  Zombie will never stop trying to bite you, and
3.  If Zombie tries to bite you.  Smash his brains!

OMG Hilarious! - Placebo

Gay, Gay, Gay, and He's Hot Too!!!

C'mon, did you really think I was wrong?  Seriously?  I told you back in July what was going to happen, but did you listen? Better yet, did you read it correctly?  I even mentioned it again in August, and you have yet to respond.

Geez, c'mon, the boy is brighter and more colorful than a gay rainbow.  And yes, all you straight girls and moms, he's hot, he's gorgeous, and he's absolutely fabuloso GAY!

Chandler Massey's Days of Our Lives character, Will Horton will be coming out to his family and friends in the upcoming weeks, and I for one, am super excited!  I love him!

Now, go ahead and put him together with the already openly gay, Sonny!  Why waste our time?

Isn't This The Truth? Alt-Tab

LOL, isn't this the truth?  Your supervisor comes in, and all of sudden you can't think of what to do in order to hide your pics of Steven, Francisco, and Jessy, so you get busted.  What an embarrassing situation to be in, but it happens way too often.  But what if you knew about the "Alt-Tab"?  

Yep, you can hit the "Alt" and "Tab" keys alternatively on your keyboard and switch between screens in less than a millisecond.  Fascinating, isn't it?  Well, I've known since the dawn of time. LOL.  But for those who didn't know, try it.  

This comic is the perfect representation of being caught by not using your Alt-Tab correctly. LOL

Must Watch: Filling Up

Yesterday I posted this awesome calculator to figure out what number we were in the world's population, and I was the 3,796,716,509th person born on the day of my birthday.  

Today I'm posting an incredible video by NPR that indicates 1000 years ago there was only 1/3 of a billion people in the world.  They use this by showing glasses with water "dripping in" as people are born, and water "dropping out" as people die.

With the help of better medicine and better agriculture, people are living longer, and as babies are being born, they grow up and have babies of their own.  In the span of 200 years the world population grew by 6 billion people, absolutely astounding.

From YouTube description:

It was just over two centuries ago that the global population was 1 billion — in 1804. But better medicine and improved agriculture resulted in higher life expectancy for children, dramatically increasing the world population, especially in the West.

As higher standards of living and better health care are reaching more parts of the world, the rates of fertility — and population growth — have started to slow down, though the population will continue to grow for the foreseeable future.

U.N. forecasts suggest the world population could hit a peak of 10.1 billion by 2100 before beginning to decline. But exact numbers are hard to come by — just small variations in fertility rates could mean a population of 15 billion by the end of the century.

Where Should You Post Your Status?

Hahaha, this is great.  So do you want people to see your status?  If the answer is no, then post your status on Google Plus. LOL.  If the answer is yes,  are you in a bar?  If you're not in a bar, are you at a business establishment? If you're not at a business, is it personal?  

As the questions keep coming, the infographic will suggest where you should place your status.

click to enlarge

OMG Hilarious! - Dr. Dre

If The World Were A Village of 100 People: Issue No. 9 - HIV

What if the world were a village of 100 people?  Using statistics based on the spread of the population in the world, Toby Ng Design created this poster as another way of looking at how our world is today.  

There are 11 more posters I will share with you in the coming weeks; This is the 9th of 20.  

If you missed any of the previous issues, click here.

Absolutely crazy!  Absolutely hilarious!  Ahhh, breaking the barrier.  Everyone who's been in a relationship, or is about to be in one, reaches a timepoint when everything is cool with one another.

In other words, if I leave my socks on the floor, Ryan may find that offensive at first, but then I tell him, "what? we're there right?"  It shouldn't bother him any longer because we're in a relationship, and this annoying little thing, well.. it too shall pass, right?  LOL.  Well.... not exactly.

CUPPA CHEESE!!!!!! HAHA i cant stop laughing

When I Was Born I Was The 3,796,716,509th Person Alive On Earth

And I'm the 77,996,188,643rd person to have lived since history began...

It's crazy how fast this earth has populated.  In the year 1500, the world population was an estimated 500 million.  In a few weeks we will be 7 billion!  How the hell did this happen?

Click the picture above to find out where you fit in the world's population, and hit "NEXT" after each answer to find out some pretty interesting statistics.

Make sure to enter the numerical "day" you were born first, then the month and year, otherwise you can't go to the next step.

Must Watch: The Smashing Pumpkins

Halloween is over and it's time to get rid of your pumpkins.  So what do you do with them????   Oh, I know, how 'bout smashing them?

That's obviously the way Devin Graham wanted to do it.  He and a group of friends from his production company smashed a few pumpkins in slow motion using a Red Epic camera.  What transpired was this pretty cool video Smashing Pumpkins.

Must Watch: I Ate All My Kids' Halloween Candy

Jimmy Kimmel offered a challenge to parents watching his Monday night show, to pretend they ate all their kids candy and post it on YouTube.  What occurred was an onslaught of crying.  It was absolutely hilarious, but oh so sad.  Some of these kids were devastated beyond belief.  It's a definite must watch, it will make you laugh your ass off.

The best part is at the very end when the parents tell their two boys they ate their Halloween candy the previous night and the boy in the red pajamas says, "what the heck?" they proceed to ask, "don't you guys think you ate enough candy last night" and the boy responds, "no, I only had like one bite of candy are you serious?"

OMG, that kid was absolutely hilarious.  You must watch this...

Politics 101: United Bases of America

Is the United States worried it will no longer be the World's Superpower?  Not anytime soon, and this incredible infographic provided by the National Post, says otherwise.  It's actually quite fascinating.

Despite the pending troop withdrawals in Iraq and those in Afghanistan between now and 2014, the United States remains a superpower on a scale not seen since the days of the Caesars. With this in mind, the National Post’s Richard Johnson takes a look at the scale of America’s forces.

click to enlarge

Do You Take This Text To Be Your Lawfully Wedded Text?

LOL, I bet the groom was telling himself, "WTF! What the hell did I get myself into?"  During the wedding ceremony, the bride receives a text and pulls it out of her bra as she is standing by her soon to be husband.  What makes it hilarious is the groom's reaction to the whole thing.

 

From the YouTube description:

This is part of a wedding video I shot in August 2008 at the Mission Beach Women's Club in San Diego, CA. It was otherwise perfectly normal except for this one funny clip of the bride TEXTING just after her dad walked her down the isle! At one point, I noticed her doing it through my lens and I had to pull away form the camera to make certain I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. The minister was busy reading his opening comments and her back was to everyone in attendance. I was the only one to see her. Her dad glanced over at her and then saw me doing a double take and began to laugh out loud! You can see him doing it in the clip. Totally funny!

Pumpkin Republicans

Oh c'mon, you've got to have a little fun now and then. Just a little political humor since we're done with Halloween.

Postman Pat's PET SEMATARY [NSFW and not for children]

OMG, this is like the best clay-mation movie, since, since, well.. "The Nightmare Before Christmas".

LOL, seriously, Postman Pat's Pet Sematary is not your ordinary cemetary.  Think of it more like, Stephen King's Pet Sematary.  

It's gruesome, its horrendous, and it's downright nasty.  It's not meant to be seen by children, and it's probably not a good idea to watch it at work either, but if you have headphones who's stopping you? :-)

OMG Hilarious! - Happy Halloween!

What a Hot Mess: G.O.P. is The New Black

As I was driving into work this morning listening to my morning conservative radio, (because you know, that's all you're allowed to listen to in Texas) I nearly got into a car accident.  No, it wasn't because Houston traffic was a hot mess, but rather, a billboard that looked like this...

This precious billboard along with another that reads "Martin Luther King, Jr. Was A Republican" can now be seen in Texas, South Carolina, Ohio, and coming soon to state near you!  Of course, this coming from a man who wears a silly little earring and calls himself a conservative activist.

Oh, and the man has a fascination with Ronald Reagan, as all Republican members of Congress and Presidential candidates do.

Because there was only one Reagan! The only place you're going to find the great Reagan now is in his beautiful tomb at his library, and in the memories of those that lived at the time of his service. There is no other Reagan! And, we should stop looking for such a creature. It's a waste of time. Ronald Reagan was put in the plans of God for just the time that he was needed. Reagan had the beliefs, the temperament, the personality, the skills and everything else that was needed for just that moment in American and world history. For once, 20th Century America got it right when it came to selecting its servant-in-chief. - Claver T. Kamau-Imani

What a hot mess!  I guess Mr. Kamau-Imani forgot that Reagan called the Voting Rights Act "humiliating," fired members of his Civil Rights Commission when they criticized his record and opposed the creation of Martin Luther King Day.  Hmmm, something's wrong with those billboards.

Oh yeah, and Martin Luther King wasn't a Republican.

I Quote That - Make Mistakes