Her words after the jump...
I don’t want to graduate college, though it’s probably not for the reason you’re thinking. No, as exciting as the job market looks for journalism majors, the truth is, I just don’t want to sit through the ceremony. I have a whole mountain’s worth of things I would rather do than sit through that god-awful ceremony. (A relaxing day at Disneyland comes to mind, as does taxidermy. And bocce ball.)
So I decided to do something else about it. I decided to put a flask in my cap.
Luckily, the process for making this thing is painless enough. Just pop off the top button with a pair of pliers, Velcro in the bladder (I took mine out of the Wine Rack Bra), secure the whole mess with bobby pins and drink up.
There’s not much you can do about tedious (and, arguably, arbitrary) traditions. But hey, at least you won’t have to be all “there” to remember it.