Post Secret Fridays - Issue 063

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

 Want to see more PSF posts? Go here.

OMG Hilarious! - Tall Justin 3

If you didn't get today's comic, its probably because you've missed my two previous posts on Tall Justin. I post a daily Cyanide and Happiness comic from the guys over at explosm.net and I'd have to say, some are downright hilarious.  Here are the two previous Tall Justin episodes, Tall Justin 1 & Tall Justin 2.

War of the Roses - Megan & Hershel

When you think of War of the Roses, the first thing that comes to mind is "that movie" with Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas, and Danny Devito.   But this is not the case in Houston, Texas.  In our city, you think of Roula & Ryan's Roses. 

Roula & Ryan are currently Houston's #1 Morning Radio Show, which airs locally on KRBE 104.1.  They have hosted their show on this station for a little over 5 years.  The segment I'm speaking of is on every Thursday morning, and was actually called War of the Roses. when they worked together at another radio station.  Unfortunately for them, they were not allowed to to take the name with them.  Hence, Roula & Ryan's Roses.

The premise behind Roula & Ryan's Roses is...

You have a caller (male or female), who calls in to the radio station requesting assistance with their relationship or marriage.  They're not seeking advice, they're seeking a little "private investigating" on the part of Roula and Ryan.  They (Roula & Ryan) ask the caller about their relationship and what's been going on with it.  The caller proceeds to tell them that they have either found something online, seen their partner talking to someone, or they tell them about anything out of the ordinary. 

Now, this is when things get a little tricky...

Roula will take on the role of a flower shop sales person, or manager, and attempt to call the person in question (the spouse or partner).  She will then introduce herself to this person with a fictitious name and company.  After offering to ship a dozen "free" red roses to anyone they like, the caller will either accept, or deny the offer.  If he denies the offer, Roula does her best to keep him on the line - 99% of the time they take the offer. Roula then proceeds to ask for the name of the person they would like to have the flowers shipped to, and a greeting for the card.

Keep in mind, this is all going on while the spouse or partner are listening-in on another line.  Roula & Ryan always advise them to stay quiet during the entire conversation, so as not to botch the call.

Now, a couple of things can happen during the time the name, and greeting are revealed.  The spouse or partner loses it, and start yelling at the person on the phone, or they wait patiently for host, Ryan to chime in.  Ryan will usually come on the line, introduce himself and Roula as hosts of KRBE, and explain what is happening to the deceived, at which point the spouse or partner will come on the line and start accusing the deceived of lying and cheating.  The deceived party is usually taken aback, and either he/she confesses, or they lie their way out of it.

These conversations can get ugly or humorous at times, it all depends on the outcome.  Sometimes it doesn't work out as the concerned caller hoped it would.

In this morning's call, Roula took on the role of Kathryn from Plants & Flowers, Incorporated.  She spoke with Megan, who had found something questionable on her computer's internet history - a link to a hotel suite which was unknown to her.  She also stated that her husband, Hershel had been "kind of shady lately".  It's actually rather sad, because she says she's ready to have a baby after 4 years of marriage to him.

In what was a surprise turn of events on the Roula & Ryan show; Hershel asks Roula if he can have 2 dozen red roses for free, and he would be willing to buy a third from her. Could this possibly be three people he wants to send roses to?  Roula agrees, and the rest is history.

You can listen to all the drama down below.  I had to post it in 2 parts, but there are no commercials.

Part 1


Part 2

Make sure to stay tuned for next Thursday, as this will be a regular series on my blog, titled "War of the Roses".  And please feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook or email. There's a little Facebook button right underneath this post, under "This Post Written By".

Wonder Woman Releases CD

Still looking beautiful at 59, the lovely Lynda Carter made an appearance at a Barnes & Noble CD-signing event.  Yes, she still sings.  Who knew, right?  Well, I did. I've known since I was a teen, because she was every gay boy's superhero growing up.  Everyone wanted to be Wonder Woman, everyone wanted to dress like Wonder Woman.  Hell, when my sister and I went to play outside, we would get into a disagreement on who would play her part.  And being the drama queen that I was, I would win. Needless to say, I was older. :-)  I just wanted to do that 'spin'. LOL.

In either case, Carter has been singing since she was 13 or 14 years old, and she sang all over the country during her years as Wonder Woman.

On her music and her Wonder Woman role:

'It is an iconic character, and if the way to connect with people is the way they feel they can connect to me. In many ways, because they can connect to me, they will sample my music'

She also stated she was disappointed at the collapse of the new Wonder Woman series featuring Adrienne Palicki.

'I was really happy they were going to re-do it because the story is a great story and it needs to be re-told and go to another generation of people,' she said. 'I was really disappointed it didn't work out.'

Magical Fun 101: The Magical iPad

Since we're on the subject of magic this week, how about I let magician Simon Pierro give you a preview of the iOS5 for the iPad2, and who knows maybe he can pull a straw out of a hat. *coughs* I mean an iPad.  Check it out, it's really entertaining.

Doggone Fonts

I thought this was pic was really cute.  Each font is associated with it's particular type of dog.  Now, it actually makes sense. LOL.

Quoted - Lady Gaga

“When I was told I won this award, Anna Wintour sent me a text message. She text messages. So she sent me a text message, and it said, 'We’re so excited to tell you you won the CFDA Fashion Icon Award.' And I actually thought it was Anna Treblin, who was one of my very close friends and [my stylist] Nicola’s assistant. So I have a couple Annas in my phone, so my reply was, 'Yes, bitch, we did it.' So quite quickly I got a reply that said, 'How lovely, and we will all be waiting to see what you will wear.' And then I thought, 'Well won’t you be helping me choose what I will wear?' And then I said, 'Oh! It’s Anna Wintour.'" – Lady Gaga, as she accepted her Fashion Icon Award at Monday's CFDA Fashion Awards.

I guess it didn't matter that the Lady called Anna Wintour a bitch, since she's probably used to people calling her that already. LOL. Just sayin' :-)

And the Cover Wars Winner Is....

NO ONE!  It was a tie! This only means one thing....There has to be a tie-breaker!

After 21 votes, the Cover War between 16 YouTubers was decided by you, so we now have to vote and see which artist is better. Our current reigning champ, Sam Tsui, or Ben Chambers.

I have posted the two covers for, 'Jar of Hearts' down below.  I will reveal the results this Saturday, so make sure you vote.

      Sam Tsui          vs.         Ben Chambers

Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

Team Christina vs. Team Blake on The Voice

I love the way the producers have handled The Voice in comparison to the sloppiness that is American Idol.  With American Idol you feel like the show drags on, and on, and on.  

So this is how the performances work this week....

To start out, the live show is only one night a week, not two nights like American Idol, thank God! Carson Daly informed us last night that each of the contestants would sing a solo performance, and then later in the evening, perform as a group. Little did we know, their group performance also included their judge, which I truly believe was a creative idea on their part.  

Only one person from each of the teams will be able to advance depending on the viewers votes, but another one will advance solely on the judge's discretion.  What does all this mean?  It means Christina will lose half of her team and Blake will lose half of his team.  I'm loving this already.  Can you imagine having to wait for each contestant to be voted off one by one?  Not in The Voice's case, they got it together, it seems like.

Before the contestants sang for their lives, the judges belted out a few of Queen's hits, which was quite entertaining.  And another thing great about the show, is the judges' willingness to know their team.  Not only do they provide the one-on-on coaching the contestants desperately need, they spend a good amount of time together, going out to dinner and such.  I thought that was impressive.

Okay, so before we get started on the performances, let me reiterate.  Each judge will lose half of their team, one contestant chosen by the viewers and one contestant chosen by their judge will advance.  Next week Christina will only have 2 people on her team, and the same goes for Blake.  Adam Levine and Cee Lo Green's teams will be performing next week, and the same rules will apply.

Watch the performances, and my reviews after the jump...

I Quote That - Fall Apart

One Nation, One Bike Kid

Seriously, it doesn't get any better than this. I'm ROFL over here - this is ridiculously funny.  Last week, a kid gave an arousing speech after he just finished learning how to ride a bike.  You can catch the video on my post, "The Joys of Being a Parent."  The boy's father asked him if he had any advice for the other kids learning how to ride a bike.  His response was truly adorable.  I highly recommend you see it before watching the video below.

This time around, the bike kid has taken it to the entire nation, and has made it truly hilarious.  Watch as hundreds of thousands of people scream for the Bike Kid!

OMG Hilarious! - Drive Thru

CRAPO

The next time you visit your local flea-market, make sure to take your CRAPO game card.  What? You don't have one?  Well, that's okay, click on this one, and you can print it out.  Who knows, you may actually win a Super Pretzel and R.C. Cola.

What a Hot Mess: She Texted. We Kicked Her Out.

The next time you think you're right, think again.  Otherwise you may end up as a Public Service Announcement everyone will know about the next day, or better yet, the next 100 years. LMAO

Nothing annoys me more than phone users who constantly text or talk during a movie, this is why Ryan and I "REFUSE" to go see a movie in the evening or night.  All you hear is the clicking sound (if it's a phone with buttons), or the damn LED light from a cell phone when it's in our peripheral vision.

The Alamo Drafthouse, an eat and drink theater in Austin, which is a lovely city in my home state of Texas, wasn't going to put up with any of this bullshit.  So after repeated warnings to stop texting, she was kicked out of the theater.  What a Hot Mess! But it doesn't end there, she proceeded to call the theater, leaving a voicemail that would put Debra Morgan (DEXTER) to shame.

I'm not sure if she learned her lesson, but the theater took it upon themselves to make a PSA about it, and air it before each of their R-rated movies. You can tell how pissed management was about it, on the restaurant/theater's blog.  The titled to their post, says it all, "She Texted. We Kicked Her Out."

I'll be honest, it's annoying, but in certain cases, it doesn't bother me.  I mean if it's a quick reply to say you'll text after the movie, then I'm cool with it.  Or if it's an emergency, I'm sure you would walk out of the establishment anyway.  But if it's their rules, it's their rules, you're entering their place of business.  You wouldn't disrespect your parents' home, would you? Or you wouldn't want anyone disrespecting yours, right?

Movies to Watch - Maybe: The Human Centipede 2

Several months ago, Ryan and I sat through a movie that was really disturbing, because we heard it was a really good film.  Come to find out, it was horrendous!  Horrendous in the sense that it was utterly disgusting!  It had to do with a mad scientist who kidnaps, and performs re-assignment surgery on two women and a man, by stitching their mouths to their asses.  It was the most disgusting film I had ever seen. If you have a queasy stomach, I don't recommend it.  It was called...

The reason I'm writing this post, is because the sequel to last year's film has been reviewed by The British Board of Film, and they have banned The Human Centipede 2 from all it's theatres.  But what could be so graphic?  Well it apparently...

follows a man obsessed with the first film—you remember, the one where the victims are surgically stitched together mouth to anus—and takes his obsession to the next level by recreating the movie.

 

The movie continues to get disgustingly graphic...

the main character at one point supposedly masturbates with sandpaper and at another point wraps barbed wire around his junk and rapes one of the women at the end of the centipede, "having become aroused by the sight of his victims being forced to defecate into each others' mouths."

What's really crazy, is the fact that the BBF has indicated that it poses a "real risk" to cinemagoers.  

You can catch the trailer to the movie down below - it's actually rather psychotic.  It doesn't show anything graphic, but it is creepy.

Magical Fun 101: The Floating Dollar

Wow, it's been too long.  I haven't posted an issue of Magical Fun 101 in almost 2 months!  Not sure if you guys remember seeing "The Burning Wallet" back in April, if so, then you'll love The Floating Dollar!  I absolutely love the people's reactions - they are hilarious!

As with the burning wallet,  Rahat loves to perform magic tricks on people, but likes to take his magic to the drive-thrus of fast food restaurants. Some of the cashiers at the window will make you laugh.  They literally believe him when says he delves in witchcraft or tells them he's a wizard.

OMG Hilarious! - Month

 

Without Love, I'd Be Lost

Words cannot describe the way I felt yesterday when I arrived home to find my husband, Ryan with two cards, some flowers and a stuffed animal for the pet of my life, Princess.   First things first, let me clarify my last statement.  I sometimes call Ryan my husband, my partner, my love, my boyfriend, and my best friend. That is, because he is all of those things to me.  We may never have walked down the aisle (which one day we will,) and received a document telling us we are husbands, but in my soul, and in my heart - where it matters most - HE is my husband.  We have woken up at each other's sides for the past 6 years, bought a home together, bought cars together, and take care of each other as any husband and wife would.  He is the love of my life, and I would have it no other way.  He is my one and only best friend.  Remember this, when you have a relationship, because if you can never consider your partner your most trusted companion, the relationship will never last. This I can promise you.

Now on to the reason I was writing this post...

When I arrived at home yesterday, I was confronted with a beautiful surprise from Ryan.  It was two cards, a stuffed animal and some Lilies for my sweet Princess who passed away last July.  I was confounded with emotion beyond belief, because not only did I miss my sweet puppy of 9 years, but how did I ever deserve such a caring, and loving person as Ryan.  He has been there to comfort me through the good, the bad and the ugly, and he has loved me beyond the measure of a man.  He is the trick of fate that people never believe in, he is the embodiment of love that people have trouble achieving.  I love you, Ryan Lopez, Forever and Always.

To finish this post, I want to say one thing. If you have never had a pet, don't laugh at the people who have, don't tell them they're silly or crazy for loving one.  My little Princess's birthday was yesterday, but during the 9 years she was with me, she was a significant part of my life.  She was there to comfort me with unconditional love when I was sad, hurt, or happy.  She was my one constant companion for the years I had her, she made me laugh, made me smile, and most of all, cuddled with me in bed every night.  When I lost her I was stricken with grief and guilt, and it was devastatingly hard to get over.  If it wasn't for Ryan, or my other chihuahua Duchess it would have taken me a lot longer to heal.  Love, don't hate.  Don't judge people who grieve over their pet - it's heartbreaking.

Top 5 Most Segregated Urban Areas In America

And you thought segregation was a thing of the past.  Maybe you should think again.  I found these demographics quiet astonishing, but it is what it is.

The other 3 cities after the jump...

Anderson

What has been known for over a year, or ever since Oprah announced she was leaving her show, is finally coming true this fall.  Anderson Cooper's new daytime talk show will premiere on September 12, a day after the 10 year anniversary of 9/11.   

The show will simply be titled, "ANDERSON."  You can click on the picture to check out his new official website.  I'm actually hoping his show does really well, and he's able to capture as many hearts in America as he can.

Anderson has never married, and has been rumored to be gay.  In fact, he's been spotted several times over the past several years with a guy pal, but he's never publicly disclosed his sexuality.  I respect that, he doesn't have to share it if he doesn't want to. I mean, don't get me wrong, If he were to garner the amount of popularity Oprah did during the 25 years on her show, and came out during one of his tapings.  This would be like the breaking news of the decade!  All the gays would be jumping for joy. LOL  But honestly, we need people like the "Silver Fox" to stand behind us, and fight the fight.

Your Thirties Kind of Stink

For those of you about to reach your thirties, you may find this chart not so humorous, yet quite so accurate.

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 17 - Baby Mudplay

It's Elephant play time again!  Earlier this year, you may remember  it was playtime in the kiddie pool at the Houston Zoo.  This time around a baby elephant is having too much fun playing in the mud.  Too cute!

Documentaries To Watch: Sons of Perdition

If you missed the premiere of "Sons of Perdition" on OWN last Thursday night, you missed a pretty interesting documentary.  I can't begin to think what it is like to be under the control of someone who proclaims to be a prophet.  I wish I would have read about this sooner, otherwise I would have recorded it, but I'm sure it will air again.  

"You have the prophet and he controls everybody" says one of the men who reside at Warren Jeff's polygamist compound in Colorado City, Arizona.  One of the boys even goes so far as to say, "Tell you the truth, I would have taken a bullet for Warren Jeffs, so I can go up to heaven and live for an eternity."  Another boy states that he has "2 moms, and 21 siblings," the unimaginable is heard from them in this short trailer.

For a review of the film by Hank Stuever of the Washington Post you can go here. You can catch the trailer below.

"three young men run away from the strict and abusive lifestyle in “the Crick” (the communal nickname for the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints compound) and quickly discover how ill-equipped they are to survive."

OMG Hilarious! - Tall Justin 2

Office Warfare

 

Last week, in my "Keeping It Old Skool" series, I introduced you to an awesome Nerf battle between a few kids.  This time around an office war commences when an employee picks up a co-worker's Nerf gun from his prized collection. It was really fun to watch, check it out.

Warning: Gay Days at Disney!

Ahhh you gotta love America.  They spew hatred even across the skies... literally.

You've seen them everywhere.  Hell, I've had brushes with death trying to read the damn things while driving home from work sometimes.  I'm talking about advertisement banners pulled by airplanes in order to promote a company's product, or in this weekend's case, warning signs announcing there are huge orgies of hot gay men taking place at Disney.  

Florida Family Association hired planes to fly two separate banners, and reportedly paid $7,000 to do it.  The banners read "Warning Gay day at Disney 6/4" and "Warning Gay Pride Day at Disney 2 Day."

These are the same people that said, their emails to MTV to remove SKINS off the air "made a difference."  Really?  Really?  Lord these people are nuts. "thousands of people enter the park, then turn around and leave then they see the same-sex couples. Mainstream America is offended."  

Disney and event organizers disagreed with them.

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 15 - Adaptation

In no particular order, I bring you this week's poster, "Adaptation".

OMG Hilarious! -The Belt

 

AIDS - 30 Years and Counting...

It may no longer be a death sentence, but it is still a problem.  It is still a disease we haven't found a cure for.  It is still an epidemic.  If you are not playing safe, you are playing with the very people you love, the very people you call your friends and your family.  Get tested regularly.  If you got tested yesterday, do it again in a few months.

You may think that it is nowhere near you, but I advise you to take a look at this map.  You can click on it to reach the interactive version, it is the most recent statistics of HIV across the United States.  You can zoom into the county you live in, and find out how prevalent the disease is there.  The map is actually quite creative.  It was put together over a period of 14 years, and is currently being updated yearly.  The map is also searchable by gender, ethnicity, and age.  New York City and Washington D.C. are the cities most affected by the disease.  But don't discount the rest of the country, look at the entire eastern seaboard, the bible belt, through the east of Texas.

AIDSVu has created the interactive map based on 2008 data from the CDC, but as I mentioned earlier, it is being updated annually - next year they will have 2009 data, and continue yearly, thereafter.

Doing Dumb Things With Our Smartphones

I think we've all done dumb things with our Smartphones, but who can explain it better than Geico?  I'm still not sure if it beats the Geico piggy commercial - "weeeeeeee" LOL.

Politics 101: Individual Income Taxes vs. Corporate Income Taxes

And all along you thought things were fair.  Really?  Really?  Think about it when you enter the voting booth next November.  There is no better way of comparing Corporate Income Taxes vs. Our Income Taxes, than this chart.  The statistics are taken from the Office of Management and Budget.

With a declining economy and unemployment still at a high 9.1 percent, if this country gets handed to the Republicans, you will see the Greatest Depression this country has ever seen, and our country turn into a third world country.  You can laugh all you want, but it's true.

The Joys of Being a Parent: He Catches His First Fish

This video is absolutely adorable.  In my latest issue of "The Joys of Being a Parent," a 3 year old boy has gone fishing with his dad, and catches his first fish.

 

The description below is not on the video, but on the Parent's YouTube page.  The boys' dad describes the day he took his son out for an adventure, and quickly wanted to be friends with a cute little fish:

My 3 year old son has always loved adventures and has watched videos and clips with people catching fish however, he had never been on a fishing trip until now. Teddy loves all kinds of fish whether they be salmon, large mouth bass, small mouth bass, catfish, goldfish, pike, trout and many others.

On this day while he had his fishing rod in the water a fish bit the fishing line without him knowing and when he pulled up on the fishing line the fish came flying out of the water and scared him.

After this exciting first catch, mommy and daddy just might take three year old Teddy on a fresh water boat charter or trip on another beautiful lake somewhere in Canada or United States. Maybe his second fish will be bigger than this fish.

This is a very funny, cute, adorable you tube video of a 3 year old boy catching his first fish with his dad.

Fear Factor Returns After 5 Year Abscence

In what seems to be Hollywood running out of creative ideas, NBC has decided to bring back "The Fear Factor."  But it's not exactly a bad idea, I think.  Who doesn't want to see contestants eating animal guts and doing challenges you would never think of doing?  I mean, it's not "here I'll give you $50,000 if you can swim 20 laps in an olympic-sized pool in under 5 minutes."  Are you kidding me?  That's not a challenge.  "How about you swim 20 laps across the Amazon River in under 15 minutes?"  LMAO, that was hilarious, but that's what it amounts to.

After a five year absence, they are bringing the show back to an encore of good reviews.  And you can't help to think what challenges they'll have in store.  Maybe they'll bring back host, Joe Rogan.  He was great.   This is reality television at it's best, because each episode is self-contained.   This means you won't have to DVR, and watch the previous week's episode because you missed something.

Babe, Ryan? Please get the DVR ready.

Watch a girl receive a terrible hair-cut on an episode of The Fear Factor after the jump.

OMG Hilarious! - Vet