If The World Were A Village of 100 People: Issue No. 1 - Religion

What if the world were a village of 100 people?  Using statistics based on the spread of the population in the world, Toby Ng Design created this poster as another way of looking at how our world is today.  

There are 19 more posters I will share with you in the coming weeks. This is the first of 20.

What a Hot Mess: True Blood

Imagine laying in your bed on a Saturday morning, alone in your home, when you awaken to the sound of someone kicking down your door.  Then all of a sudden you see a guy in boxers, hissing, growling and coming towards you.

He tries to bite your neck and hits you a few times, but you manage to escape and run out into the driveway where some neighbors tell you to jump into their car, and as your speeding away, the Twilight crazed vampire is still chasing you.

Okay, first things first, if the vampire trying to suck the blood out of me looks like Lyle Bensley up above, he can drain all the blood he wants.  I'll let him feed for days if he wants.  LOL.  Just kidding. I don't know about you, but he's kinda hot - In a vampire-crazed kinda way.

Well the story above was all over the Houston News last night,  and the person he tried to bite was a woman alone in her apartment.

Detectives said this is one of the most bizarre cases they've handled.

"He was adamant on the fact that he was a vampire and he had been here for 500 years," Officer Andrian Healy said. "Stated numerous times he wasn't out to hurt the human race."

"You could actually see what looked like teeth marks on the side of her neck," Officer Daniel Erickson said.

The 19-year old was taken into custody after a short chase, where he ended up confessing to the crime and admitting that he was a 500-year old vampire.  Dressed in boxers and feeding at dawn sure doesn't sound like a vampire.  It sounds more like a horny teenager.  What a hot mess!  Where's the King of Louisiana when you need him?

OMG Hilarious! - Saved By Scruffy

Through The Streets of Brooklyn in High Definition

Shot on Rule Boston Camera's Phantom Flex camera, this astonishing film, 8 Hours in Brooklyn, directed by Jonathan Bregel is absolutely breathtaking.  

The footage was shot with an 8 hour span in Brooklyn, NYC and features people going about their regular day.  From kids playing basketball to skaters boarding through the streets, kids's playing slip 'n slide, and a tattooist inking someone.  The images are captivating and mind blowing, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Dishwashing Party Cups

This is Priceless.  I couldn't help but post this ridiculous pic.  It's absolutely hilarious! 

I'm hoping the person who did this was filthy drunk, otherwise they need to seek therapy. LMAO!

Isn't This The Truth? Our Lives

LMAO, but isn't this the truth?  How many times have your parents called you to help them repair their computer or printer?  Mine still call me about the VCR.  Yeah, keep laughing.  Ryan's parents call about the DVR.  And what did your parents do for you?  

"Wiped your poopy butt for years..."

click to enlarge

Aye, Aye, Aye, Francisco!

It' seems like forever since I talked about Francisco Lachowski.  It's because he was on my very first blog post from January 15, 2011. 

Isn't he fucking delicious!?!?  Jesus, Mary, mother of God.  UGH!  

Happy Sunday everyone!

Let Me Out Of My Skin

You all know how much I love art and photography.  I was in art for 4 years in high school and wanted to pursue it in college, but my goals in life turned out a little different.  But there's no question, I can still admire, write about, and enjoy the beauty of it all.  

Using integrated photography and CGI, Taylor James has created a series of striking images resembling a science fiction movie. In the first set, a brunette sheds her old body similar to that of a snake.  An internal struggle takes place in the second series, while the third features women hatching from their shells.

Absolutely stunning!  The Taylor James Studio was founded in 1999 by Glen Taylor, and works at the forefront of digital production.  It blends innovative storytelling with technical expertise. 

Check out the second and third series to this amazing collection after the jump..

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 24 - Flattery

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Flattery".

What You Really Need Is...

If you crave Chocolate, then you should have nuts, seeds and fruits. Hmmm???

If you crave chewing ice, what you really need is iron. So instead of chewing ice, you should really eat meat, fish, poultry, seaweed, greens, and black cherries.

Personally, I'll stick to chewing ice.

click to enlarge

Cover Wars 6 - The Results

The results are in, and the Gold Record this month goes to Abraham Lim.  His rendition of Adele's "Someone Like You" was up against 5 other covers to this song. In the end he managed to edge out fellow singer, Eli Lieb by one vote.  I have notified Abraham of his win this morning.

I thought everyone did a fantastic job with Adele's song, and I would definitely buy all their covers.  Thanks to Sean Rumsey, Eli Lieb, Benjamin, Chris Kennedy from The Shures, and Nick Gardner, who "I" put up against a formidable opponent.  This in no way undermines your awesome vocal abilities, you were all great.

And finally, a big "thank you" goes out to all my readers for taking the time to vote on this month's Cover War.

Congratulations Abraham!  If you ever "Google" your name or a cover to a particular song, and you somehow manage to stumble upon my blog, I wish you the very best on your endeavours.

Let's listen to your cover once more...

OMG Hilarious! - Exist

Abduct Me Please!

Yeah, if there were ever a reason to watch the movie, "Abduction," this would be it.   

Click to enlarge "supersize"

Taylor Lautner, and all his goodness in a scene from the aforementioned movie. 

You know you want to see his treasure trail up close, click to enlarge.

The Unbecoming Lady

Who the hell is this?  This is so unbecoming of a Lady.  

No, tell me that isn't so!  

It's Lady Gaga looking ever, so gorgeous, or normal, on her way out in L.A.  I couldn't have said it better than TMZ here...

"The stock market crashes, riots in London and Lady Gaga dresses normal ... what is this world coming to?" 

Must Watch: Porcelain Unicorn

If it's one thing I admire most - it's short films, and poignant ones at best.  This short film has got to be one of the best short films I have seen in a very long time, gay or straight.

Porcelain Unicorn was hand-picked as the winner in a competition where the contestants were restricted to six lines of dialogue: 

“What is that?,” 
“It’s a unicorn,” 
“Never seen one up close before,” 
“Beautiful,” 
“Get away, get away,” and 
“I’m sorry.”

Using those six lines, Keegan Wilcox created a masterpiece only an award-winning director and producer would handpick to win this competition, Ridley Scott.

Unbelievable!  It was so touching, I cried.

What a Hot Mess: Shit Happens

If there were ever a perfect way to coin this hilarity it would be, "Shit Happens."  What a Hot Mess!

Poor 91-year old Alf, has mistakenly been placing his mail in the wrong box. According to an article, Alf was "trotting" down to his local postbox (we don't have those in the U.S.), hoping to send a birthday card to his grandson before the last collection of the day.  But if it wasn't for someone tapping him on the shoulder, and letting him know he wasn't standing at a postbox, he would still be depositing his mail into a poo-collecting box.

I walked down to the postbox, like I do every week, and began placing our Tommy’s third birthday card in the little slot. A woman walking her dog came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, and asked what I was doing. I thought she was going to cry when I told her. She held my hand and pointed out that the postbox was on the other side of the road.

I’ve not got the best eyesight these days but even so, the postbox and the dog dirt box are almost identical. They’re both red, the same shape and stuck on a post. I bet I’m not the only pensioner to get confused. The bloody council should never have put them so close together.

I'm with Alf on this one, shouldn't have the postal service contacted him, telling him he was depositing mail into the wrong box?  It's not like it's a normal situation, right?  Two years without it being unnoticed, c'mon.

Isn't This The Truth? Miracle of Life

OMG Hilarious! - Jinkies

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 071

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

[The following email was posted with permission. The wedding band has been removed and Federal Expressed back to the sender.]

Dear Frank,

This past week you should have received a postcard with a keystroke counter and a wedding ring. My husband used the keystroke counter to spy on me during my affair.

Is there anyway I can get my ring back? You can post the secret, maybe another person can learn from it, how much damage an affair can cause and how easy it is to be caught.

We're going through marriage counseling now and I'm trying to make amends. Neither of us wants to split our home and our two kids up because of a mistake I made.

Thank you very much.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

The Joys of Being a Parent: Interview With A Baby

This video was too cute not to post.  I mean, what more could you ask for, but a pure bundle of joy?  Jose Luis (the baby), has a drinking problem, and he has agreed to sit down with his Dad for an exclusive interview.  His answers will astound you.  

Once again, this proves there is nothing like The Joys of Being a Parent. Feel free to check out the rest of my previous postings.  They will make you laugh, guaranteed!

Bert and Ernie are Not Gay!

So supposedly there's an online petition that I was unaware of - to get "roommates," Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street to come out as gay.  So in a rush to quell these outrageous rumors, Sesame Street Workshop released the following statement...

"Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation."

Magical Fun 101: The Floating Cup

Okay, this guy Rahat is a genius.  Why he hasn't appeared on America's Got Talent is beyond me.  He first lit his wallet on fire, then he made a dollar bill float in mid-air, and now he's freaking people out, by making his coke levitate in front of shocked and stunned drive-thru workers.

The drive-thru worker bees are fucking hilarious!!! OMG - this was so good.  My favorite part was when Rahat tells one of the cashiers that when he was 11 years old he received a letter from Hogwarts, and she believed him. LMFAO. "Are you serious?" she asked him.

What If You Start Choking on Your Steak? What Do You Do?

So you're sitting in restaurant, and your partner starts to choke on their steak, what do you do?  What if it's a baby?  Or what if it's you?  Well, the following images will help you with all these situations, and more!

If subject is conscious do this one.

If subject is unconscious do this one.

If it's a baby do this one.

If it's YOU choking on a peanut do this one!

And finally, if it's a zombie, do this one.

What Keeps a Gay Man in Shape?

FEAR!

Yep, and "this is brought about because gay men are afraid that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. If a gay man is not "serving body" while competing to find a trick or boyfriend in one of the more muscle-bound climates of gay culture, he will be sorely shut out. That is why gay men don't get fat, because if they don't have pecs, guns, and glutes, they're going home alone." - Brian Moylan on Simon Doonan's new book, "Gay Men Don't Get Fat".

Moylan goes on to say there are three things a gay man wants; to get buff, married, and stay buff.  And the reason?  Threesomes!  

He says "there are countless committed gay couples out there who like to either play on the side or invite guest stars into their beds. And you're not going to get any A-list guest stars if you're giving D-list torso with a four-star gut. Yes, gay men go to the gym to stay competitive, but since the man-eating marathon doesn't end after marriage, they just keep on competing and competing until death do they part."

While this is not the case for many gay couples, Moylan did write some very interesting points in his Gawker article.  The Instinct article left out a majority of what Brian had to say, but that sure didn't keep Instinct commenters from posting harsh comments about him.

OMG Hilarious! - Pick Up Kids

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 17

We continue with another fabulous issue of "Foods That Will Make You Fat".  And in today's issue you will have the joy of checking out three fabulous meals that will convince you to jump off a ship, or throw yourself in front of moving vehicle; Going at a very high speed of course. LOL

Fat Circus Waffle

Seriously, if you want Captain Crunch, Ice Cream or A Waffle, why can't you just eat a serving of one product for breakfast?  Do you really need all three of these high-carb, diabetes-inducing, heart-stopping crap right before you head into work or school?  And you can't forget the chocolate sauce and sprinkles. Can't forget the sprinkles!

In'N'Out "animal style" Fries

I'm about to barf just watching this hot mess.  Ugh. that's disgusting! I can't even look at the picture as I type this.  All I'm going to say is it looks like some type of Sloppy Joe mixture, with cheese, french fries and some "special sauce".  That is just nasty.

Bacon-wrapped Meatloaf

We can never be done with bacon, everybody loves that shit. From bacon bits to bacon-wrapped Jalapenos; Bacon is the meat of the decade.  But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of making a meatloaf with macaroni and cheese in the middle, and with bacon wrapped all around it.  If you don't have a heart-attack after eating this mess, then you must be doing something right.

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 25 - The Multi-functional Jesse

On June 22nd, you saw Toby climb a tree without fear, and he climbed way, way up.  On July 28th, you saw Biscuit climb a mountain, and yes, without fear also.  

This time around, you will see Jesse doing just about everything you want him to do.  Want him to take the groceries in for you?  Jesse will do it.  Want him to fold laundry, and put it up for you?  Jesse will do it.  When you go to the pet store, he does his own shopping.  When you are too tired to make breakfast, he will make some toast for you, pull the sheets off your bed, and get your tea or coffee ready.  Jesse can do anything!

This video was too cute, I couldn't stop watching Jesse do all these amazing things.  I really hope Ryan's parents get a Jack Russell Terrier when their Pit Bull, Spirit goes to doggy heaven (or hell).

Madonna's Gaga Nightmare: Part 2

Last month I posted the video, Madonna's Gaga Nightmare, and it was funny as hell.  In it, Madonna was trying to reboot her career, including taking her gays back from Lady Gaga.

In part 2, Madonna is at home recuperating when Gaga keeps prank calling her, and with a little help from Cher, they concoct a scheme.

The parody features scenes from Mommy Dearest and Death Becomes Her, which are absolutely hilarious.  If you haven't seen either of these movies, then some parts may fly over your head.

Most of the other gay icon characters are back, including, Bette Midler, Liza Minnelli, and Sue Sylvester.  Check out the hilarity below.