I Quote That - I'm The Type...

Dexter Returns and All of Hell Breaks Loose!

It's D-day on October 2nd, and I've never been more excited!  As the teaser on it's website states...

 "HELL BREAKS LOOSE"

If you are currently watching Seasons 1 through 5 of Dexter, do not see the following trailer.  It's best to wait until you've caught up.  Ryan and I have already seen the previous 5 seasons, but are currently watching them again with our friends, Michael and Francisco; They were in utter shock when they saw the finale of season 4 -  it really took them by surprise!  We start watching the 5th season this Wednesday night.

Has Dexter finally seen the light? Get ready for the most rapturous season yet...

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 26 - Cute Little Puppy Learns to Howl

This is too cute.  Someone starts playing a YouTube video of some wolves howling in the background, and the cute little puppy tilts it's head from side to side before he belts out a howl. It's the cutest thing ever!

OMG Hilarious! - Family

Google It To Save a Friend

So what do you do if your best friend starts choking on a peanut, scratch that, an Almond?  Your first choice would probably be to try the Heimlich Maneuver, right?  Wrong!

You have to Google it!  

All the while your friend is choking to death on the floor...  you realize you can't spell the damn word...

The Second Coming...

Seriously folks.  Is this what you really want?  Really????  Better think long and hard, because things are about to get ugly...

Ding Dong, The Witch is Not Dead!

If you're reading this, stop.  Have you already caught up on all your True Blood episodes?  If you haven't, leave now, because I'm going to write shit you probably don't want to know.

What I'm still trying to figure out is why the hell Marnie let Jesus and Lafayette into a room with a dead body? Did she do this on purpose? In either case, at the end of the latest episode, Jesus unbinded Antonia from Marnie and allowed Sookie to survive from the ring of fire.  

All the while, the crazy vampires, Eric, Pam, Jessica, and Bill, who come to destroy the witches' cove are outside arguing if they should save Sookie or Not, big brother comes in her defense, the witches' vampire shield (much like a bug shield that will zap you into smithereens) comes down, the vampires rush in, Eric kills one of the witches, sucks on his heart like he's drinking a sangria out of a 7-Eleven Slurpee, and they shoot the crap out of the wicked witch of the west, Marnie.  

But guess what????  The Witch is not actually dead!  She jumps into Lafayette's body at the end of the episode as a cliffhanger.

In other True Blood news... Sam loses his brother Tommy to a pack of wolves who beat him to a pulp in the previous week's episode.  Sam goes on a rampage and goes after the said wolves with the help of Alcide who btw, finds out his girlfriend Debbie was shagging/not shagging Sam's girlfriend's ex-husband, Marcus.  After Sam throws a few punches, and a couple of "Fuck You's," he allows him to live, but Alcide kills him anyway.

Oh... and we find out the fairies' taste in men.  They love having sex with fat, burly men like Andy.  Geezus, couldn't they have chosen Jason Stackhouse?  Andy, really?  What the hell were the producers drinking.  Yes, I meant to say drinking.

Stay tuned for the final episode on Sunday, September 12th!

Where Should You Pee?

Everyone has asked this question...  trust me, you have.  So where do we pee if we're caught in the following situation?  Let's say... at a party,  whe're your drunk and unconscious... 

Pee in your pants, who's gonna care, you're unconscious?  LMFAO!

Things I Learned From Watching Movies...

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
2. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
3. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
4. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
5. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
6. A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

7. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
8. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
9. The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
10. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
11. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
12. A cup of black coffee or a splash of cold water in the face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.

13. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
14. If you stick your head out of cover during a gun fight, it will never be hit, especially if you look backwards to hold a conversation with someone behind you.
15. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned partners who are their total opposite.
16. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
17. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
18. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

19. Computers never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.
20. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
21. All watches and clocks are synchronized to the second.
22. No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.
23. Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from. Even aliens from outer space, despite the fact they have never been to Earth, seen an Earthling, or even heard of Earth or Earthlings.
24. No matter how catastrophic the disaster, pets will always survive it.

25. There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right medical supplies.
26. No matter how dead you think you’ve killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least three more times.
27. People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they’re usually dead within minutes.
28. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
29. Cemeteries generate their own weather. Usually rainstorms… and not just gentle sprinkles, but biblical downpours.
30. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Twenty more things after the jump...

Cover Wars 7

This has got to be the most difficult Cover War to date.  I spent 2 hours on Sunday listening to over 100 covers of Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory," and I never grew tired of listening to it.  

All the artists in this month's war deserve a standing ovation, hell they each deserve a Cover Wars Album, they are all absolutely amazing!  I cried as I watched a cover of a boy with Cerebral Palsy and it made it even harder for me to pick these Top 12 people.  He didn't make the top 12, but I will tell you this... the courage alone was enough to make anyone vote for him.

Cover Wars 6 Winner Abraham Lim

This month's Cover War is going to be a little different, and I may do it like this from now on.  I am posting six covers of "Edge of Glory" today and you will have 7 days (until 9/10/11) to vote for the best out of these six.  The second round begins the next day (9/11/11), and will consist of another six covers to the same song; You will also have 7 days to vote on this round which will end on 9/17/11.  The top two finalists from the previous two weeks will compete in a final competition which will take place from September 18-24, 2011.

The winner will be declared the following day, September 25, 2011. On this day I will personally email the winner their Cover Wars Gold Record.  It's not an actual vinyl record, but a recognition award congratulating them for their amazing talent and their win; So your vote is really important.

Meet Group 1 of the Cover Wars 7 contestants, a group of talented artists I chose to start the first round of this month's Cover War! 

Top left to right: Neilo Rose, Alana DeBlase, Petie Pizarro;

Bottom left to right: Nick Pitera, Jay Loftus, Drew Chambers

To vote, simply leave me a comment indicating which artists you think deserves the win for the first round of the competition.

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 26 - Get To Work

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Get To Work".

Shooting Your Boss

Okay, admit it.  How many of you have wanted to shoot your boss?  

Fine, don't tell me, but I know who you are.  I think we've always had a reason to hate our bosses, either because they're rude to us, show us no appreciation, or make us do more than what our title entails.

Now, if you want to shoot your boss for any other reason, then seek some help. LOL.

In the video below, Trent Kimball, the President and CEO of Texas Armoring Corporation truly stands behind his product. He sits behind a safety glass windshield as one of his employees shoots an AK47 at him.  Pretty crazy stuff...

What's Your Favorite Girl Scout Cookie?

Mine is the Thin Mint, followed by the Samosas, Do-Si-Dos, and everything else after.  Below is a chart of the percentage of sales by type of Girl Scout cookie.  Pretty interesting...

A Special Post Secret Sunday

If you're a fan of Post Secret Fridays, wait no more, PostSecret.com has now released the Post Secret App, and people are raving about it.  It was just released this morning.

Check out the amazing and emotional trailer released from Post Secret two days ago.....

The Joys of Being a Parent: Wake Up, Eat, Sleep, Repeat

Remember my post from July of that small baby girl who kept on waking up, smiling and immediately falling back to sleep?  She would do it over and over again until she finally went into a deep sleep.

Well this time around you have a cute, adorable little boy doing the same thing, except he's not smiling, he's eating.  He eats his ice cream, passes out, eats his ice cream and falls back to sleep. It is too cute.

You Might Be A Redneck...

... if you use a riding lawnmower and 4 push mowers to cut your yard.  And all the same time...

OMG Hilarious! - Good Advice, Mom!

Megalopolis of the Ants - It is Truly a Wonder of the World

I found this video very interesting and I think you will too.  It seems to be a documentary from a few years back, but it's only 3 minutes long. 

It's amazing that a tiny creature such as the ant, can create a city under a city in just several months.

Imagine you're a researcher, and one day you come upon a rather large anthill.  Your first thought would probably be, "geez that's a huge ass hill," but not for Professor Louis Fortune.  He and a team of researchers were curious to see how hard these little ants really worked.  Well, lets just say, it took them 3 days and 10 tons of cement before they were able to stop filling these ant hills.

After the cement was left to dry for a month, the excavation process began; What they found was beyond comprehension.  

There they found subterranean highways connected to main chambers, fungus gardens and living quarters.  It was like a huge masterpiece, like an architect had gone in and done all the work.  Not only that, these ants carried 40 tons of soil to the surface in order to make this huge city.  It truly is a fascinating video. You'll enjoy it so much you'll wish there were more.

I Quote That - Practice Compassion

Brandon McInerney Can Go To Hell!

Brandon McInerney - Larry King

Lord Jesus, help me! I'm fucking pissed!

If it isn't horrific enough that Brandon McInerney walked into a classroom and shot a 15-yr-old boy in the back of the head; the jury couldn't decide if Brandon was guilty of murder.  Really?  Are you people really this fucking stupid?  There were witnesses for God's sake!  He walked into a classroom where there was a teacher, several students, and shot Larry King at point blank range.  What more do you fucking idiots want?!?!  He even went so far as to say that he wanted to kill him by shouting it through the hallways at school.

So Larry was different, he was a freak like everyone of you fucking bastards would probably call him, but he was most importantly a human being.  He was a kid who knew he was gay, liked to play with dolls and dresses, and probably annoyed some people, but why the fuck should you care?  Worry about your own fucked up lives is what I always say.

But oh no, this wasn't the worst part?  What?  What could be worse than killing a kid in the back of the head, you ask?

How about turning around at the parents of the deceased, grinning at them as the jury tells the judge they are unable to reach a verdict in the case?  Worse enough for you?  This was the most disgusting thing I read yesterday, so much so, that I couldn't bring myself to blog about it.