Where Should You Pee?

Everyone has asked this question...  trust me, you have.  So where do we pee if we're caught in the following situation?  Let's say... at a party,  whe're your drunk and unconscious... 

Pee in your pants, who's gonna care, you're unconscious?  LMFAO!

Things I Learned From Watching Movies...

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
2. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
3. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
4. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
5. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
6. A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

7. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
8. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
9. The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
10. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
11. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
12. A cup of black coffee or a splash of cold water in the face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.

13. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
14. If you stick your head out of cover during a gun fight, it will never be hit, especially if you look backwards to hold a conversation with someone behind you.
15. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned partners who are their total opposite.
16. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
17. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
18. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

19. Computers never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.
20. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
21. All watches and clocks are synchronized to the second.
22. No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.
23. Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from. Even aliens from outer space, despite the fact they have never been to Earth, seen an Earthling, or even heard of Earth or Earthlings.
24. No matter how catastrophic the disaster, pets will always survive it.

25. There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right medical supplies.
26. No matter how dead you think you’ve killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least three more times.
27. People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they’re usually dead within minutes.
28. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
29. Cemeteries generate their own weather. Usually rainstorms… and not just gentle sprinkles, but biblical downpours.
30. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Twenty more things after the jump...

Cover Wars 7

This has got to be the most difficult Cover War to date.  I spent 2 hours on Sunday listening to over 100 covers of Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory," and I never grew tired of listening to it.  

All the artists in this month's war deserve a standing ovation, hell they each deserve a Cover Wars Album, they are all absolutely amazing!  I cried as I watched a cover of a boy with Cerebral Palsy and it made it even harder for me to pick these Top 12 people.  He didn't make the top 12, but I will tell you this... the courage alone was enough to make anyone vote for him.

Cover Wars 6 Winner Abraham Lim

This month's Cover War is going to be a little different, and I may do it like this from now on.  I am posting six covers of "Edge of Glory" today and you will have 7 days (until 9/10/11) to vote for the best out of these six.  The second round begins the next day (9/11/11), and will consist of another six covers to the same song; You will also have 7 days to vote on this round which will end on 9/17/11.  The top two finalists from the previous two weeks will compete in a final competition which will take place from September 18-24, 2011.

The winner will be declared the following day, September 25, 2011. On this day I will personally email the winner their Cover Wars Gold Record.  It's not an actual vinyl record, but a recognition award congratulating them for their amazing talent and their win; So your vote is really important.

Meet Group 1 of the Cover Wars 7 contestants, a group of talented artists I chose to start the first round of this month's Cover War! 

Top left to right: Neilo Rose, Alana DeBlase, Petie Pizarro;

Bottom left to right: Nick Pitera, Jay Loftus, Drew Chambers

To vote, simply leave me a comment indicating which artists you think deserves the win for the first round of the competition.

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 26 - Get To Work

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Get To Work".

Shooting Your Boss

Okay, admit it.  How many of you have wanted to shoot your boss?  

Fine, don't tell me, but I know who you are.  I think we've always had a reason to hate our bosses, either because they're rude to us, show us no appreciation, or make us do more than what our title entails.

Now, if you want to shoot your boss for any other reason, then seek some help. LOL.

In the video below, Trent Kimball, the President and CEO of Texas Armoring Corporation truly stands behind his product. He sits behind a safety glass windshield as one of his employees shoots an AK47 at him.  Pretty crazy stuff...

What's Your Favorite Girl Scout Cookie?

Mine is the Thin Mint, followed by the Samosas, Do-Si-Dos, and everything else after.  Below is a chart of the percentage of sales by type of Girl Scout cookie.  Pretty interesting...

A Special Post Secret Sunday

If you're a fan of Post Secret Fridays, wait no more, PostSecret.com has now released the Post Secret App, and people are raving about it.  It was just released this morning.

Check out the amazing and emotional trailer released from Post Secret two days ago.....

The Joys of Being a Parent: Wake Up, Eat, Sleep, Repeat

Remember my post from July of that small baby girl who kept on waking up, smiling and immediately falling back to sleep?  She would do it over and over again until she finally went into a deep sleep.

Well this time around you have a cute, adorable little boy doing the same thing, except he's not smiling, he's eating.  He eats his ice cream, passes out, eats his ice cream and falls back to sleep. It is too cute.

You Might Be A Redneck...

... if you use a riding lawnmower and 4 push mowers to cut your yard.  And all the same time...

OMG Hilarious! - Good Advice, Mom!

Megalopolis of the Ants - It is Truly a Wonder of the World

I found this video very interesting and I think you will too.  It seems to be a documentary from a few years back, but it's only 3 minutes long. 

It's amazing that a tiny creature such as the ant, can create a city under a city in just several months.

Imagine you're a researcher, and one day you come upon a rather large anthill.  Your first thought would probably be, "geez that's a huge ass hill," but not for Professor Louis Fortune.  He and a team of researchers were curious to see how hard these little ants really worked.  Well, lets just say, it took them 3 days and 10 tons of cement before they were able to stop filling these ant hills.

After the cement was left to dry for a month, the excavation process began; What they found was beyond comprehension.  

There they found subterranean highways connected to main chambers, fungus gardens and living quarters.  It was like a huge masterpiece, like an architect had gone in and done all the work.  Not only that, these ants carried 40 tons of soil to the surface in order to make this huge city.  It truly is a fascinating video. You'll enjoy it so much you'll wish there were more.

I Quote That - Practice Compassion

Brandon McInerney Can Go To Hell!

Brandon McInerney - Larry King

Lord Jesus, help me! I'm fucking pissed!

If it isn't horrific enough that Brandon McInerney walked into a classroom and shot a 15-yr-old boy in the back of the head; the jury couldn't decide if Brandon was guilty of murder.  Really?  Are you people really this fucking stupid?  There were witnesses for God's sake!  He walked into a classroom where there was a teacher, several students, and shot Larry King at point blank range.  What more do you fucking idiots want?!?!  He even went so far as to say that he wanted to kill him by shouting it through the hallways at school.

So Larry was different, he was a freak like everyone of you fucking bastards would probably call him, but he was most importantly a human being.  He was a kid who knew he was gay, liked to play with dolls and dresses, and probably annoyed some people, but why the fuck should you care?  Worry about your own fucked up lives is what I always say.

But oh no, this wasn't the worst part?  What?  What could be worse than killing a kid in the back of the head, you ask?

How about turning around at the parents of the deceased, grinning at them as the jury tells the judge they are unable to reach a verdict in the case?  Worse enough for you?  This was the most disgusting thing I read yesterday, so much so, that I couldn't bring myself to blog about it.

Must Watch: Cold Star

In one of the most bizarre short films I have ever seen, this music video/short movie is a "hybrid that connects the emotions of a short with beats and lyrics of music. The film is an appeal for acceptance of your own and others sexual identity," according to it's YouTube description.

This short film premiered at several GLBT film festivals, and immediately received standing ovations all around, and rightly so.  While the video is different, it is meant for inspiration.  Everything about it is amazing; The acting, the music, the photography, but most importantly the incredible message it conveys.  It's all about tolerance, being who we are and accepting it.

The religious right are already out in masses condemning the video, but like I always say, "See you in hell bitches!"

DC Showcases New Superman...

...and boy is he Super! I'm totally digging his new costume; I think Zack Snyder should re-think his costume idea, and add a red belt like in this comic. 

I know I questioned the red underpants being gone in the new movie, Man of Steel, but if they added a red belt it would be perfect!

Gaga The Fashionista! - HAUS OF Ü feat. NYMPH

Lady Gaga has just released

HAUS OF Ü feat. NYMPH

and it's absolutely fabulous!  We love you Gaga!

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 074

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

100 Years of Fashion, Dance and Music

To announce the grand opening of Westfield Stratford City, which will soon be “the largest urban shopping centre in Europe”, Westfield created this fun short film, 100 YEARS / STYLE / EAST LONDON. The film, directed by Jake Lunt with The Viral Factory, amazingly gives the run-down of 100 years of East London fashion, dance and music in just 100 seconds." via PSFK

Blade's Box of Jams: Track #7 - Party Rock Anthem

I'm turning on my headphones, and currently listening to... 

LMFAO!

Another fantastic summer hit that made it into my box of jams. I love this song, it really gets your day going.  The video below was the commercial of the night during the MTV Music Video Awards this past Sunday.   

First they drove. Then they rapped. Now they're dancing (to LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem). But they're not doing any old dance. They're shuffling. And they're doing it harder, faster and better than any hamster has ever shuffled before. Here is the encore presentation.

and here is the best part of the official music video...

OMG Hilarious! - Bottle

Isn't This The Truth? Fast Food vs. Fast Food Ads

How many times have you gone to a restaurant and your sandwich or taco didn't look as pretty as the advertisement?  I have, many times.  And this chart lays it out plain and simple for you.

War of the Roses - Stephanie & Will

Today's War of the Roses was hilarious, but ohhhh so good.  If you have never listened to this segment, I highly recommend it.  It's been one of my favorite morning shows since I started listening to Roula & Ryan 7 years ago.

I suggest you read up on my first issue, here - I wrote a detailed description on how "Roses" actually works.

In this morning's call, Roula took on the fictional role of Pam from Plants and Flowers, Inc.

Today's war was especially funny because the caller, Stephanie, mentioned she had come across a picture her friend Jennifer posted online.  It was a picture of her best friend Anna and Stephanie's boyfriend, Will.  

Curious as to why Stephanie would want to play a ruse on her boyfriend when all she saw was a picture, Roula & Ryan asked her to email it to them so they could judge for themselves.  Due to the legal ramifications, Roula & Ryan are not allowed to show actual photos of the caller or the accused, so Ryan took it upon himself to do an artist's rendition, and omg it was all I could do to keep from laughing.

Stephanie states that her boyfriend of 2 years has been cheating on her with her friend of 6 years, Anna.  She says that two weeks ago she took a trip to Austin, TX to visit her family while her boyfriend stayed behind to attend a pre-arranged pool party her friend Jennifer was hosting.  Well, the weekend was over, and her friend Jennifer posted pictures from her party online.  In one of the pictures she spotted her boyfriend in the background with her friend Anna, cuddling and gazing into each other's eyes.  Stephanie also says that out of all her friends, Anna is the one who is the prettiest and funniest of the group, but also the most flirtatious and most "loose" of her girlfriends. LOL.

Over the past several days, Will has been kind of cold, always on the computer, and Stephanie doesn't know what to make of it. She truly believes he's cheating on her with Anna and figured doing the "Roses" was the only way she could make herself confront him.

After looking at the picture, Roula & Ryan are convinced Will has some 'splaining to do.  After sharing their thoughts they explain the rules of the "War" to Stephanie and ask her again if she really wants to go through with this, because regardless of the outcome, her boyfriend will learn why he was tricked on a radio station.

So how does the battle end?  Does Will send Stephanie flowers?  Or is there another woman?

the war rages on....

Part 1

Part 2

Make sure to stay tuned for next Thursday, as this is a regular series on my blog.  Feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook, or email them. There's a little Facebook button right underneath this post where it says, "This Post Written By".

Isn't This The Truth? Birthdays

Remember the times we used to have huge birthday parties and get lots of presents? I know I did;  I remember having these huge birthday parties when we would go visit grandma, and all my cousins would come over. And I had lots of cousins! 

Gone are those days. Today it's all about how many notifications we get.... Isn't this the truth?

Our Future Is In Their Hands - Take 4

We've been put through test after test our entire lives, yet when these kids can't figure out the difference between 2 separate crackers and 1 cracker broken in two pieces, these kids are unintelligent.  At least this is what most YouTube comments are indicating.  I, personally don't think this makes them stupid or ignorant.   We all said stupid things when we were kids - WE WERE KIDS!

Then again... our future is in their hands...

You Tube Comments:

• Good, so we can continue to pay women less as long as we spread the money out a little bit.
  

  EnzoCheLatino 2 days ago 91
• This is an example of basic developmental milestones. Every single person commenting on and watching this video has gone through the same process and at one point would have had the same answers. It's not a question of intelligence. What is a question of intelligence is how there are so many people here who do not understand this basic concept.

  w8ulostme 1 day ago 42

OMG Hilarious! - Cell Phone

Are People Really This Stupid?

Imagine lying on a couch on your 17th birthday after a full day of partying and celebration.....

Now imagine yourself a few hours later running through the house on fire, literally.

It probably wouldn't be a pretty picture, right?  Well... Matt-Dillon Shannon of New Zealand begs to differ.   He thought it would be a wonderful gift idea to douse his friend with gasoline and set him on fire.  That's right, he allegedly poured gasoline over his friend and set him aflame.  Of course this is his story...

"We were just sitting in the lounge and all of a sudden somebody's running through on fire".

"I didn't see it happen, he was in my bedroom and came running into the lounge," [Shannon] told the newspaper.

The partygoers panicked and tried to put out the fire, which had flames jumping above Hayden's shoulders, catching the bottom of his hair, he said.

Shannon's friend, Hayden Calder, left the house with serious burns to his back neck and spent a week in a local hospital recovering from his injuries. Well no shit!  Are people really this stupid?  Unbelievable! What kind of person would do this to a 16-yr-old, and much less a friend?  This poor kid now has to endure the pain and humiliation of being physically and emotionally scarred for the rest of his life. I hope he gets through this okay. 

Shannon, on the other hand, has been charged with "wounding with intent to cause grevious bodily harm."  Eye for an eye, maybe??? Geez.

What would happen if...

I shit you not, I just finished typing "what would happen if " with a space after "if" and this is what Google came up with.  I took this screenshot just now. 

You should try it.  I swear, some people search for the weirdest shit.

LMAO! What would happen if I poured self-raising flour on an orphan?  I'm ROFL - this is priceless!

Ground Zero Now

You can click the image to the left to access The New York Times, or you can simply check out the amazing video below of the Ground Zero location as new office towers are rising at the site. It truly is fascinating.