A Big Double Cross!

I wasn't the photographer, I took this via the website Dangerous Minds; Book was also verified on Amazon.

OMG Hilarious! - Tim

Must Watch: You Really Didn't Miss Anything

Not interested in politics?  That's okay, this video is only 45 seconds of your day, just a mere 45 seconds of your life.  Pretty much what was said during the debate on Wednesday was... Taxes, Reagan, Taxes, Reagan, Taxes, Reagan...

 I swear, all of these guys are idiots.  You know what?  I take that back.  Jon Huntsman actually broke away from them on a few issues, but all that means, Republicans will only shun him.

Super Mario Causes of Death

For all you gamers out there. This outta bring back some memories...

War of the Roses - Catherine & Dave

Oh wow, this week's "Roses" is a doozie.  LOL. I actually had to look up the word to make sure I spelled it correctly.  But I was right, this week's War of the Roses was pretty bizarre.

In today's call Roula & Ryan spoke with Catherine who's been married to her husband, Dave for 8 years and also dated 5 years prior.  She pretty much stated the obvious fact, that she knows her man well; Her and her husband have two small children, a 7-yr-old boy and 5-yr old girl.

Before I continue... If you're not familiar with my "War of the Roses" segment, then I suggest you read my first issue, here;  I wrote a detailed description on how it actually works.

Catherine proceeds to tell Roula & Ryan that her husband, Dave is really "off" and showing strange behavior.  She states that she's kind of embarrassed to say it, but by odd behavior she means sexually.  She says that Dave has recently been wanting to try all sorts of "crazy stuff" in bed, trying different positions and so forth, things that he never once contemplated of doing in all the years she's been with him.  She says that she knows her husband, he's kind of dorky, doesn't even like watching porn, etc.., but last week something strange happened.  In the middle of the night, which also rarely happens, he wakes her up to have sex, and while they're doing it he calls her by a different name - "Taylor."  When she confronts him about it, he says that he's half-asleep and doesn't know what he's saying, that he was probably having a dream or something.

Roula & Ryan tell her there is enough information to convince them she has a reason to do "Roses."  They ask Catherine if she has anything else she wants to share.  And she does...  She says that last weekend she was taking the kids to a birthday party, and it was going to be a large one.  Knowing this, she asked Dave if he could join her, because she needed help to watch over the kids, but he told her he was not feeling well, the previous night he had a few beers, blah, blah, blah.  In either case, Catherine and the kids decide to come home early from the party and daddy isn't home.  She calls to find out where he is, and he doesn't answer the phone.  Now, this is a man who is stuck to his phone like glue, has a holster for it and everything, he never goes anywhere without his phone.  He never answers her calls and never calls back, instead he shows up at home 2 hours later looking like he'd seen a ghost.  His explanation was that he went for a walk.  Catherine says that not once has he ever taken "a walk"

Roula and Ryan share their thoughts on the matter, go over the rules of the "War," and ask her again if she really wants to go through with this, because regardless of the outcome, Dave will have to know she made the call to the radio station to trick him.

So how does this battle end?  Will Dave send the flowers to Catherine or Taylor?  Is there, in fact, another woman, or is it a guy????

the war rages on....

Part 1

Part 2

Make sure to stay tuned for next Thursday, as this is a regular series on my blog.  Feel free to share it with your friends on Facebook, or email them. There's a little Facebook button right underneath this post where it says, "This Post Written By".

President Obama Telephones The Man Who Wants His Job...

According to the Associated Press, President Obama called up Rick Perry to express his concern for the residents near Houston, Texas who have been amid one of the most destructive fires in Texas history.  The President was on top of it all, and made it clear to Mr. Perry that the federal government would continue to provide assistance at the state and local level.

This is by far one of the most horrible things I have ever witnessed.  It's on every local news channel, day in and day out and yesterday we got news from our University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center President that several employees lived in the areas where the fires took place; Some have even lost their homes.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose everything, especially with Ryan and I both at work, not knowing what's going on at home.  Good thing Ryan works 5 minutes from home, so he could save our puppies quickly.  There's no easy way to say this, but I'm also grateful that the winds took the fire in a northwestern direction because I have family on the northwest side, and it's something I couldn't fathom if something happened to them.  I'm hoping and praying that this fire can be contained soon, because I know many people are being affected.

OMG Hilarious! - Red Bull

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 19

Trust me, it's not easy writing about Foods That Will Make You Fat, but I feel it's something I should do. Really, it is. 

I mean, how else are you going to see what's causing you an early death? If anything, I'll keep you from creating these monstrosities!

Seriously, some of these foods will have you skip breakfast, lunch and dinner altogether!  You'll be on the Tic-Tac diet sooner than you think.

Flapjack Fiasco

Let's play read along... pancake; cookie dough; pancake; peanut butter and jelly; pancake; chocolate and bananas; pancake; caramel, oreo, marshmallow, sprinkles, M&M’s; pancake; caramel buttercream frosting granished with Trix cereal.  Geezus! I gained 5 pounds just by reading all the crap that's in this hot mess of a meal. Yep, breakfast skipped this morning.

The Meat Baby

Awww, a cutsie, wootsie baby.  NO!  A MEAT BABY!  Really?  What the hell will people come up with next?  This is not only disgusting, its just plain fucking wrong.  Why on earth would someone want to create a meatloaf of a baby?  And using bacon as a diaper nonetheless!  There is some serious Silence of the Lambs craziness going on here.  Lunch skipped.

Fool's Gold Loaf Sandwich

Loaf of hollowed out bread filled with creamy peanut butter, a jar of grape jelly, and a pound of bacon.  Did you get that?  A POUND of bacon!  Yes, someone out there is making this delicious meal right now.  I don't have the statistics, but I'm going to say every 30 seconds one of these is made around the world.  I'm done!  Ryan, forget about dinner tonight.

YES!  THESE FOODS WILL MAKE YOU FAT!

"Twilight" Series In 4 Seconds

Yep, this is pretty much what the Twilight series amounts to; A 4-second line.  "Jacob, keep your shirt on!"  LOL.

Isn't This The Truth? Rank of Celebrity

OMG, isn't this the truth? LMAO!  I'm definitely the last fucking letter!  

Z - I could die in my house and it would take years before anyone noticed.

And then there's those I know would fit perfectly in the middle, I won't mention any names. LOL

OMG Hilarious! - My Space is for Hipsters

The Woes of Being a Bad Parent - Let Me Tan While My Baby Sleeps In The Car

I swear, when I write in my blog I have a difficult time categorizing some of my posts, because the stupid people I write about can go under three different categories; "Are People Really This Stupid?," "What a Hot Mess," and "The Woes of Being a Bad Parent."  Clearly, this is a case of bad parenting where this crazy nut could very well fit the other categories.

Meet Imene Nouis, a woman from Colorado who decided it was best to let her baby fry in her car while she went into a tanning store to fry herself.  Yep, she was in the store about 12 minutes when the cops showed up to rescue the poor baby.  The car had already reached a temperature of 135 degrees and was well on it's way to cooking her child.

No worries, she is "extremely remorseful."  She didn't didn't want to wake up her baby so that's why she left the baby in her car with the windows rolled up, and locked.  This kinda beats the mom who left her kid in the rain to drink in a bar, remember that one?
Source: 9 News

Chicken Ruffles Professor's Feathers!

Want to ruffle your college professor's feathers?  Dress up in a chicken costume and interrupt his lecture.  Watch as a chicken walks into a college professor's classroom and starts singing and dancing the "Chicken Dance."  Too funny!

War on Drugs

So yeah, this is the state of our country fighting the war on drugs...  it's funny and sad at the same time.

I Quote That - I'm The Type...

Dexter Returns and All of Hell Breaks Loose!

It's D-day on October 2nd, and I've never been more excited!  As the teaser on it's website states...

 "HELL BREAKS LOOSE"

If you are currently watching Seasons 1 through 5 of Dexter, do not see the following trailer.  It's best to wait until you've caught up.  Ryan and I have already seen the previous 5 seasons, but are currently watching them again with our friends, Michael and Francisco; They were in utter shock when they saw the finale of season 4 -  it really took them by surprise!  We start watching the 5th season this Wednesday night.

Has Dexter finally seen the light? Get ready for the most rapturous season yet...

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 26 - Cute Little Puppy Learns to Howl

This is too cute.  Someone starts playing a YouTube video of some wolves howling in the background, and the cute little puppy tilts it's head from side to side before he belts out a howl. It's the cutest thing ever!

OMG Hilarious! - Family

Google It To Save a Friend

So what do you do if your best friend starts choking on a peanut, scratch that, an Almond?  Your first choice would probably be to try the Heimlich Maneuver, right?  Wrong!

You have to Google it!  

All the while your friend is choking to death on the floor...  you realize you can't spell the damn word...

The Second Coming...

Seriously folks.  Is this what you really want?  Really????  Better think long and hard, because things are about to get ugly...

Ding Dong, The Witch is Not Dead!

If you're reading this, stop.  Have you already caught up on all your True Blood episodes?  If you haven't, leave now, because I'm going to write shit you probably don't want to know.

What I'm still trying to figure out is why the hell Marnie let Jesus and Lafayette into a room with a dead body? Did she do this on purpose? In either case, at the end of the latest episode, Jesus unbinded Antonia from Marnie and allowed Sookie to survive from the ring of fire.  

All the while, the crazy vampires, Eric, Pam, Jessica, and Bill, who come to destroy the witches' cove are outside arguing if they should save Sookie or Not, big brother comes in her defense, the witches' vampire shield (much like a bug shield that will zap you into smithereens) comes down, the vampires rush in, Eric kills one of the witches, sucks on his heart like he's drinking a sangria out of a 7-Eleven Slurpee, and they shoot the crap out of the wicked witch of the west, Marnie.  

But guess what????  The Witch is not actually dead!  She jumps into Lafayette's body at the end of the episode as a cliffhanger.

In other True Blood news... Sam loses his brother Tommy to a pack of wolves who beat him to a pulp in the previous week's episode.  Sam goes on a rampage and goes after the said wolves with the help of Alcide who btw, finds out his girlfriend Debbie was shagging/not shagging Sam's girlfriend's ex-husband, Marcus.  After Sam throws a few punches, and a couple of "Fuck You's," he allows him to live, but Alcide kills him anyway.

Oh... and we find out the fairies' taste in men.  They love having sex with fat, burly men like Andy.  Geezus, couldn't they have chosen Jason Stackhouse?  Andy, really?  What the hell were the producers drinking.  Yes, I meant to say drinking.

Stay tuned for the final episode on Sunday, September 12th!

Where Should You Pee?

Everyone has asked this question...  trust me, you have.  So where do we pee if we're caught in the following situation?  Let's say... at a party,  whe're your drunk and unconscious... 

Pee in your pants, who's gonna care, you're unconscious?  LMFAO!

Things I Learned From Watching Movies...

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
2. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
3. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
4. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
5. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
6. A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

7. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
8. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
9. The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.
10. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
11. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
12. A cup of black coffee or a splash of cold water in the face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.

13. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
14. If you stick your head out of cover during a gun fight, it will never be hit, especially if you look backwards to hold a conversation with someone behind you.
15. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned partners who are their total opposite.
16. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
17. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
18. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

19. Computers never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.
20. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
21. All watches and clocks are synchronized to the second.
22. No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.
23. Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from. Even aliens from outer space, despite the fact they have never been to Earth, seen an Earthling, or even heard of Earth or Earthlings.
24. No matter how catastrophic the disaster, pets will always survive it.

25. There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right medical supplies.
26. No matter how dead you think you’ve killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least three more times.
27. People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they’re usually dead within minutes.
28. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
29. Cemeteries generate their own weather. Usually rainstorms… and not just gentle sprinkles, but biblical downpours.
30. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Twenty more things after the jump...

Cover Wars 7

This has got to be the most difficult Cover War to date.  I spent 2 hours on Sunday listening to over 100 covers of Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory," and I never grew tired of listening to it.  

All the artists in this month's war deserve a standing ovation, hell they each deserve a Cover Wars Album, they are all absolutely amazing!  I cried as I watched a cover of a boy with Cerebral Palsy and it made it even harder for me to pick these Top 12 people.  He didn't make the top 12, but I will tell you this... the courage alone was enough to make anyone vote for him.

Cover Wars 6 Winner Abraham Lim

This month's Cover War is going to be a little different, and I may do it like this from now on.  I am posting six covers of "Edge of Glory" today and you will have 7 days (until 9/10/11) to vote for the best out of these six.  The second round begins the next day (9/11/11), and will consist of another six covers to the same song; You will also have 7 days to vote on this round which will end on 9/17/11.  The top two finalists from the previous two weeks will compete in a final competition which will take place from September 18-24, 2011.

The winner will be declared the following day, September 25, 2011. On this day I will personally email the winner their Cover Wars Gold Record.  It's not an actual vinyl record, but a recognition award congratulating them for their amazing talent and their win; So your vote is really important.

Meet Group 1 of the Cover Wars 7 contestants, a group of talented artists I chose to start the first round of this month's Cover War! 

Top left to right: Neilo Rose, Alana DeBlase, Petie Pizarro;

Bottom left to right: Nick Pitera, Jay Loftus, Drew Chambers

To vote, simply leave me a comment indicating which artists you think deserves the win for the first round of the competition.

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 26 - Get To Work

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Get To Work".

Shooting Your Boss

Okay, admit it.  How many of you have wanted to shoot your boss?  

Fine, don't tell me, but I know who you are.  I think we've always had a reason to hate our bosses, either because they're rude to us, show us no appreciation, or make us do more than what our title entails.

Now, if you want to shoot your boss for any other reason, then seek some help. LOL.

In the video below, Trent Kimball, the President and CEO of Texas Armoring Corporation truly stands behind his product. He sits behind a safety glass windshield as one of his employees shoots an AK47 at him.  Pretty crazy stuff...

What's Your Favorite Girl Scout Cookie?

Mine is the Thin Mint, followed by the Samosas, Do-Si-Dos, and everything else after.  Below is a chart of the percentage of sales by type of Girl Scout cookie.  Pretty interesting...

A Special Post Secret Sunday

If you're a fan of Post Secret Fridays, wait no more, PostSecret.com has now released the Post Secret App, and people are raving about it.  It was just released this morning.

Check out the amazing and emotional trailer released from Post Secret two days ago.....