Post Secret Fridays - Issue 080

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

On the back of the card: the trouble is i don't think i have the kind of loneliness that other people can cure

-----Email-----
No, you don't. I have all three and feel more alone than ever.

Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

Must Watch: TSA - PSA

The holidays are upon us, and well...  It's a fact, more people are screened and patted down at airports during the holidays than any other time during the year.  And The Transportation Security Administration wants to make sure you're completely satisfied.  They even go as far as to say, "It's our business to touch yours".  LMAO!  this was hilarious, check it out.

The Ugly Bag

Yes, this bag is only for ugly people, and it's heavy duty for extra ugliness.  But please note that in the event that you're super ugly, two bags may be necessary in case one breaks.

Are People Really This Stupid? Issue No. 11 - Lions, Tigers and Bears

By now you've probably read about or heard of the story out of Zanesville, Ohio, where an idiot released 56 exotic animals before he shot himself to death.  

Why he was allowed to own them is beyond me.  Scratch that!  In Ohio you are allowed to own whatever the hell you want.  Are people really this stupid?

I'm going to say yes, and I'm also going to say yes to the idiots (the cops) who killed all 18 Bengal Tigers, of which are rare, with only a few thousand in existence today.  They also shot and killed, 6 bears, several lions, wolves and monkeys.  It was a massacre!

Why didn't law enforcement use tranquilizers?  These animals could have gone to zoos across the nation.  It's a travesty, I'm telling you.

Terry Thompson was recently released from prison for illegal firearm possession, his wife left him, and didn't have the means to continue feeding these creatures.  Supposedly he did this in retaliation of his neighbors and the cops.  I would understand if all the creatures ventured into town and needed to be put down to protect the residents, but as you can see in the picture, most of them were together.

Definitely sadness all around.

OMG Hilarious! - The War

Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 24

Lord have mercy on my soul.  Please forgive me!  I only post this weekly segment, because I want to showcase everyone's creative ideas in the kitchen. Honest! 

I mean, where would we be without our "Porkgasms", "The Spamsicle", "The Fat Koko", "The Thunderdome", and "The Meat Baby"?

Oh. I know. In hell!!!

The Fat Monkey

After you eat this crap, YOU WILL be a Fat Monkey.  If the two slices of chocolate chip banana bread weren't enough, you've gone ahead and added layers of Nutella, bananas and marshmallow creme.  And you don't stop there.  You decide to dip it in cake batter and deep fry it, because frying will add 200 more grams of FAT.  You see, this is usually where I stop.  But noooooooo, there's more....  You can't forget to dip it in melted chocolate and roll it in toasted almonds and coconut.  Shoot me now!

Grease Lightning

Yum, I've always wanted to make this dish..  I'm lying.

Why the hell would I go to Jack In The Box and buy an order of curly fries, head to McDonald's and buy a box of chicken nuggets, drive to Furr's to buy a chicken fried steak, stop by Sonic to buy a corn dog, and  park myself at Wal-Mart to get some pizza rolls?  Why? Why would I do such a ridiculous thing?  Because I want to make that fabulous dish, up there?  NO, because I want to kill myself by adding even more ingredients, like chili, bacon and sliced hot dogs.

The Sexy 'Smore

Doesn't this dessert look utterly delicious?  Look at all that raspberry jam oozing out of that graham cracker sandwich filled with peanut butter, marshmallows and milk chocolate.  You achieve this by microwaving the ingredients until the fillings reach a liquid consistency.  Unless you live in South Texas, where you can just leave it on the counter until it eventually melts.

How To Prank Your Friends With Siri...

OMG, I'm having so much fun with this bitch named Siri, and I don't even own her yet!  LOL.  Anywho - here's how to prank your friends who have the new iPhone 4S.

The Woes of Being a Bad Parent - Your Son's Drawers

LOL. I swear, why don't I take a picture first and then help my kid?

Okay, yes it's funny as shit, but geez.  Thank God, the kid didn't seriously injure himself.

Facebook Pic Priorities. LOL.

Yes, I Still Have The Original iPhone...

Despite the fact that it's been dropped hundreds of times, run over once, and in a swimming pool for 15 to 20 minutes - the damn thing still lives on.  Sorry guys, but I'm waiting for the iPhone 6 or 7 - so hush.

Why do I want to buy something that ain't going to understand "ain't" or "work"?  Like this poor Japanese guy who can't get that dumb bitch, Siri to understand him.

Madonna vs. Lady Gaga: The Many, Many Phases of Two Self-Defined Pop Sensations

Madonna and Lady Gaga:  two shameless pop stars willing to try anything, no matter how abominable or shocking, to secure a seat at the top of the charts (and tabloids). Some say that Lady Gaga is merely a Madonna clone, while others sing her praises as a fashionista and a perfect example of a woman who refuses to be defined by anyone but herself.  Whichever way you look at it, Madonna and Lady Gaga have gone through more phases and costume changes than most of us have had hot dinners.  We revisit some of the most memorable.

Check out Madonna after the jump...

OMG Hilarious! - Bad News

If The World Were A Village of 100 People: Issue No. 7 - Language

What if the world were a village of 100 people?  Using statistics based on the spread of the population in the world, Toby Ng Design created this poster as another way of looking at how our world is today.  

There are 13 more posters I will share with you in the coming weeks; This is the 7th of 20.  

If you missed any of the previous issues, click here.

They Won't Give You Your Buses Back! They're Republicans.

For the past several weeks I have been driving down our through street and noticed several signs saying "Facebook / We Want Our Buses Back".  

I didn't know know what this was in reference to, so I asked my partner Ryan and he informed me that the children who live within 2 miles of any Spring, ISD school are no longer being picked up for school.  They took their buses away, and Facebook was the only way they knew how to spread the message across.

When I went online to investigate what was going on, I was dumbfounded by what I saw.  Article after article, news story after news story on this very topic.  Damn, where the hell have I been?  We pay taxes to this school district!

The school district use to bus students who lived past 1/4 mile to the schools. This school year, they decided they were going to the statewide accepted 2-mile distance, which puts most students in the "walking" category, unless they have a "hazardous route" (as defined by the same accepted policy. Problem is, this is a small, but very congested community, and even though the posted speeds are within their "safe" speed, no one drives that posted speed limit. They expect our kids to walk along Cypresswood, Aldine-Westfield, and other dangerous roads--not to mention past tons of sexual predators. Just last year, a teenage girl went missing right after she got off the bus, and hasn't been found yet! Their website (www.springisd.org) has the hazardous route info if you're interested. I think it's under the general information tab, then bus routes. The school district knew that anybody in their right mind that had another choice wasn't going to let their kids walk, which leads to a very horrible traffic congestion, which ticks people off even more. So we have even more dangerous situations with people driving worse because they're ticked at being made to sit through the same red light 2 or 3 times. I've seen people driving down the wrong side of the road and through fields on the road our school is on. Not to mention huge dump trucks and other construction type vehicles. It's just insane that they would think we'd let our kids walk around there. Some people don't have a choice and are forced to fear for their lives and their children's lives every day of school. They say they're doing this because of budget shortfalls. Well, part of that shortfall may be to do with the fact that our Superintendent supposedly decided a couple of years back that he needed to drive a $52000+ Porsch! Go figure!

Let's see... who's in control of the state legislature that passed this horrendous 2-mile law?  Hmmm, who's hurt our teachers, firefighters and policemen in this state?  But most of all, who's hurt our children by cutting financial aid and other services, that we as taxpayers help provide?  I'll give you one guess... Ricky Perry and The Republicans!

But guess what???  Don't blame them, because nothing is their fault.  Isn't that what they always say?

Where Your Pen Ends Up When You Drop It...

LOL, Isn't this the truth!

I Quote That - I'm Completely Happy!

OMG Hilarious! - Ding Dong

Today's Cyanide and Happiness was downright hilarious, but only if you've seen the disgusting movie, The Human Centipede, and are excited about seeing the new movie, The Human Centipede 2.

Must Watch: The Job Reference

Remember that job interview from last week?  Well, imagine listing your friend as a personal reference on your job application?

Link wants to do some substitute teaching at a local middle school, and asks his childhood friend/roommate, Rhett, if he could put in a good word for him.   Rhett replies and asks, "what do you want me to say?"  

"Just be honest," Link tells him, "let 'em know that I'm normal, that I'm not some criminal or psychopath."  And then the hilarity ensues.  OMG, it's freaking hilarious as shit!

Quoted - Zachary Quinto on Coming Out Earlier Today

"When i found out that jamey rodemeyer killed himself - i felt deeply troubled.  but when i found out that jamey rodemeyer had made an it gets better video only months before taking his own life - i felt indescribable despair.  i also made an it gets better video last year - in the wake of the senseless and tragic gay teen suicides that were sweeping the nation at the time.  but in light of jamey's death - it became clear to me in an instant that living a gay life without publicly acknowledging it - is simply not enough to make any significant contribution to the immense work that lies ahead on the road to complete equality.  our society needs to recognize the unstoppable momentum toward unequivocal civil equality for every gay lesbian bisexual and transgendered citizen of this country.  gay kids need to stop killing themselves because they are made to feel worthless by cruel and relentless bullying.  parents need to teach their children principles of respect and acceptance.  we are witnessing an enormous shift of collective consciousness throughout the world.  we are at the precipice of great transformation within our culture and government.  i believe in the power of intention to change the landscape of our society - and it is my intention to live an authentic life of compassion and integrity and action.  jamey rodemeyer's life changed mine.  and while his death only makes me wish that i had done this sooner - i am eternally grateful to him for being the catalyst for change within me.  now i can only hope to serve as the same catalyst for even one other person in this world.  that - i believe - is all that we can ask of ourselves and of each other." zq.

-By Zachary Quinto on October 16, 2011 8:26 AM

OMG Hilarious! - Thirsty

waiting...

Are People Really This Stupid? Issue No. 10 - Double Gainer Off A Hotel Roof

OMG, are people really this stupid?  Geezus Gazeebus! 

I know, I know, those aren't words, but who does these things?  Oh, I know... this guy, Michal Navratil, who's kinda hot by the way.  

The swimmer does an un-imaginable double gainer backflip off the roof of a hotel in St. Maarten.

I'm going to assume, he took the time to calculate the chances of hitting the rocks below and the ones underneath the water.

The Only Good Thing On The Vampire Diaries

Yeah, he's the only good thing that's come out of The Vampire Diaries.  

I don't miss that show one bit, but I definitely miss looking at him.  Oh Steven R. McQueen, what a gorgeous creature you've turned out to be... Well, you've been pretty all your life :-).











Oh, and the photos are courtesy of Fuck Yeah Steven R. Mcqueen!

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 31 - Ignorance

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Ignorance".

Time Allotted In Last 3 GOP Debates

It's sad, but true.  Like 'em or not, the last 3 presidential debates simply were not fair when it came to allotting time to each of the candidates.  But we see this way too often, it happens during the Democratic debates also.  It's whoever is the flavor of the month, or who's riding high on the polls.  Let's see how much time they give Herman Cain next time around.

Bird Attempts To Play A Game of Frogger

Okay, call me stupid, but I actually sat here and watched this bird attempt to cross the street.  According to it's YouTube description it reads:

In Panama this duck kept trying to cross the highway on foot and the police kept having to rescue it from disaster. Eventually they left and the insane duck tried to cross the road again... See what happens...

Yes, I know. Don't ask.

A commenter posted this comment after watching the video: "Well, it's not a duck, it's a cormorant and it probably didn't fly because it's wings were wet - they are diving birds and are not waterproofed like ducks are (otherwise they could only bob in the water and not dive). After a dive, they need to dry out before they can fly. Darned luck bird!"

What Do Vegans Eat?

Must Watch: American Horror Story

So far the season for new television series have been kinda blah. Hell, Ryan and I still haven't been able to grasp on to The X-Factor and Dancing With The Stars. There are so many shows coming up like The Walking Dead, which premieres tonight, and Spartacus early next year. We already watch Glee which airs on Tuesdays, Harry's Law which airs alongside Modern Family on Wednesday nights. And we also watch Dexter and Boardwalk Empire which airs on Sunday nights, I mean, the list goes on.

But there's one new series I'm really curious to see.  Since Pan Am, Terra Nova, 2 Broke Girls, Whitney, The Secret Circle, Revenge, and Ringer have all gone on the way side, and teetering towards cancellation, American Horror Story shows promise.

Check out the first 5 minutes of this pretty amazing show that started 2 weeks ago.