Foods That Will Make You Fat - Issue No. 25

Go get your gun.  Seriously.  After you take a look at today's issue of "Foods That Will Make You Fat", you will wish you had one, or use the one you got.

I'm going to say this only once.  That bitch, Paula Dean needs to go to prison.  She is going to kill everyone on this planet with her recipe ideas.  She's the reason we have all these idiots coming up with these insane concoctions.  Lady's Brunch Burger, really?

Lady's Brunch Burger

She's become a star on the Food Network and has been responsible for millions of lives.  This bitch needs to go to prison.  Her name is Paula Dean.  Okay, so I lied, I said it twice.  This woman who introduced us to heart attacks and strokes at an early age is not your average mother or grandmother.  Look at that yummy sandwich up there, isn't that a sandwich fit for a Lady?  Hell NO!  A lady wouldn't touch that if she had an ounce of class left in her.  A hamburger patty topped with a fried egg & bacon, in-between 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Are you kidding me? Does it make your mouth water? Ugh.. I'm done with her.

Surprise Cake

Doesn't this cake look delicious!  It looks like a yummy pineapple upside down cake, doesn't it?  Zoom in a little closer....  yeah, you see what I see!!!  SHRIMP and PIGGIES!   It's 2 layers of yellow cake with a sweet mayo frosting covered in ham and topped with shrimp, pineapple, mandarin oranges and a cherry.  The only good thing about this hot mess of cake..... it's only made in Sweden.  Supposedly it's very popular on kid's birthdays over there.  Now I don't know which country's worse.  And it's not called a surprise cake, it's called a Smorgastarta aka shrimp and ham cake.

The Atlanta Exit Wound

This is when you get your gun.  Do it now, because when I tell you what's in this hot mess of a pot, you will die regardless.  The bottle of hot sauce I can deal with, but when you say 4 packages of cream cheese, a bottle of blue cheese dressing (yes, a whole bottle), and 6 chopped chicken breasts, I.....

The Walking Dead - Literally!

In Indonesia a corpse is usually carried up to the grave, but not in the small village of Toraja; The corpse is woken up using black magic, allowing it to walk to its grave.  This is rarely performed anymore.

In Toraja the graves/cemeteries are placed above limestones in mountains.

The corpse walks by itself, and is guided by an expert in black magic behind it.  There is one prohibition, the corpse shouldn’t be appointed, once pointed, the corpse falls down and isn’t able to walk again.

I'm not sure what to make of it.  Check out this response after the jump...

The Joys of Being a Parent: Pre-Recorded Dad Reads To Daughter

A viewer's comment read like this: "Thank you for posting this! A splendid reminder of the fact that it is parental love that makes our world go round."

And that is so true!  This is the reason I came up with this series, "The Joys of Being a Parent", because I wanted to capture enduring moments of parents at their best.  In the video below you will see a military dad read a bed time story to his daughter, but it is pre-recorded. 

Daddy taped it for her, so that while he was away in Iraq she could watch and listen to him read a book to her.  It's simply adorable, and I commend this guy for being such an awesome parent!

OMG Hilarious! - Monsters

Seriously? WTF?

Un-fucking believable!  Seriously!  I'm sorry, for the French, but David Calvo, pictured left, manages to single-handedly solve a Rubik's Cube while juggling 2 more at the same time.  I mean, I've come to understand that if one can't chew gum and walk at the same time, they have issues.  But juggling and rubiking? Really? This is my way of solving the damn thing.

Anatomy Of A Muggle

A Charge To Keep

Last Friday, President Obama announced that the remaining American troops in Iraq will leave the country by the end of 2011. Here’s a quick reminder of the war’s price tag.

Pretty sad when you think about it.  This unnecessary war most importantly cost us nearly 5,000 American soldier's lives, over 30,000 severely wounded with complications they will endure for the rest of their lives, and 92,000 Iraqi civilians also perished.

If The World Were A Village of 100 People: Issue No. 8 - Fear

What if the world were a village of 100 people?  Using statistics based on the spread of the population in the world, Toby Ng Design created this poster as another way of looking at how our world is today.  

There are 12 more posters I will share with you in the coming weeks; This is the 8th of 20.  

If you missed any of the previous issues, click here.

 

Must Watch: Where Do We Go From Here?

I could not say it better if I tried.

This poignant video is what democracy is all about.  Be proud that you're an American.  Be proud that you live in a country where this can happen.  

These people protesting are not our enemies, they are not terrorists.  They are firefighters, teachers, chefs, soldiers, auto-workers, office employees, I mean, the list goes on.  It is atrocious what these policemen are doing, beating and arresting people.  By the end of the year some of those same cops are going to be out of a job.  Is this how they repay those who are trying to help them?  They should have arrested those damn crazy nut jobs we call the Tea Party, with their guns waving and shit.  They were out protesting several months ago and no one did shit.

"I've been there around six times now. Two with a video camera, two with a still camera, and two just without a camera. Each experience has been unique - and I have to say - it makes it easier for me to have the camera - it gives me more focus there. But just getting lost in the crowd can be beauitful. I was there Friday night starting around 11pm and I believe there was the General Assembly going on - watching the process - they were organizing smaller groups - was beautiful - watching direct democracy in action." - Ed David

Blade's Box of Jams: Track #9 - Psychosocial Baby

Currently listening to... 

Slipknot vs. Justin Bieber

If you never thought that a Justin Bieber song could sound so good, then you haven't heard this mashup of Slipknot and the Beebs.  I posted this on Facebook around March or so, and I had to post it again.  I have also added it to Blade's Box of Jams.

Isosine from YouTube put this amazing mashup together, and I'd have to say it sounds really fantastic! 

Isosine, also known as Steven Nguyen, was born into a Vietnamese family in the Regent Park projects in Toronto, Ontario. He led a very hard life, baking and selling crack cocaine with his crew at the tender age of four. On his sixth birthday, his father died, a tragic event that has impacted him for the rest of his life. A family friend, Lenny Chilelli helped out his mother, but he himself had a little daughter to raise, so his sustenance couldn’t carry on for long.

You can read more about Isosine on his Facebook page.

OMG Hilarious! - Costume

I Quote That - Choosing How

"Life is about choice. We are the sum of our choices. And most of them are made for us. You can't choose when you're born. You can't choose where you're born. You can't choose your family. You can't even choose who you love. But you can choose how you love." 

- From the comedy/drama, "I Think I Love My Wife"

What Do The Secret Circle and Kaboom Have In Common?

So I'm trying to understand what this new show's about.  I heard about it, and briefly read about it, but I actually thought it was a movie.  It turns out that it's a new television series on the CW called "The Secret Circle," which has something to do with witches.

Well, there's a character on the show named Adam, who by the way... I've been in love with since forever, who's played by the oh so wonderful, Thomas Dekker.  Say what you will, he's gay and he plays it well on T.V.  Another notable actor on the show is Gale Harold from Queer As Folk fame.  

On Thursday night's episode they introduced a character by the name of Jake, who's oh so yummy delicious!  And here's how I got confused.


Some of you may recognize Jake (Chris Zylka) from the very hot and steamy sex scenes he had with Dekker in the movie, Kaboom, which Ryan and I have yet to see.  I got that movie and this new show mixed up.  So the video clip below is from the movie, Kaboom, which really is unbelievably hot.  

I seriously doubt they can go too far with this new show, because it is after all, the CW.  But The Secret Circle series...

follows 16-year-old Cassie, who moves from California to live with her grandmother in New Salem and falls in love with a mysterious boy named Adam. But, when she enrolls in high school there, she realizes that he, she and all the other elite students at the school are witches! She befriends their leader, Diana, but soon discovers that Adam and Diana are dating, which leads to a whole bunch of complicated drama.

Here's Dekker and Zylka in Kaboom, who also star in The Secret Circle...

It's Purely Animal - Issue No. 31 - Puppy Planking

I'm sorry, but this was too adorable not to post.  Who knew puppy planking even existed? Too cute!

And On The Eighth Day, God Created....

The Party Rock Anthem Halloween House

In the spirit of Halloween I bring you The Party Rock Anthem Halloween House!  Not as good as Ohio University's marching band, but quite entertaining.  Enjoy.

I Quote That - You Are My Sunshine...

When we met, I told you that a relationship would never work, unless the person you came to love became your one and only best friend.  Holding true to my words, we've become the bestest of friends and the greatest of lovers.

Words will never compare to how much you mean to me, Ryan Lopez, but just to let you know...  It's been nearly 6-1/2 years, and my love for you has never waivered. You continue to make me smile and laugh, but most importantly you make me feel loved...  You are my sunshine.

Dare To Fight A Ninja?

The next time you think you can fight a ninja, come prepared. This is no ordinary Ninja.  LMAO.  Absolutely genius!  I loved it!

The United States of Scary Things

I think this chart is close to accurate.  Especially when you talk about gambling addiction, mormons, the devil, and the lobster people. LOL.

Poster of the Week - Issue No. 32 - Incompetence

Continuing alphabetically, I bring you this week's poster, "Incompetence".

Must Listen: Mom and Facebook

And this is the reason my mom doesn't have Facebook.  Otherwise my sister and I would have these exact same voicemails. Absolutely hilarious, but ohhhh so very true!!!

Bry? Uhh... Melissa and Bethany and Aunt Susan said they all like my status.  What is that?  They commented on my status.  Is that the same thing as that thing you made up for me or what? Cause I don't quite get it.  Just let me know when you have enough time 'cause I'm going up to Cameron Park to go to the Wal-Mart I have to check on somethin' so... I have my phone on, 'kay?  I can't figure that out, what they're commenting on.  I wish they would have SAID something.  I think it's one of those 'likes'. But I don't know what they like.  What do they like? Okay, bye."

Isn't This The Truth? Percentage of Millionaires

So sad, but honestly true!

I'm Da Bomb

Racial profiling at it's best. OMG, this was hilarious!  "Change Your Shirt!"  

I don't know which is funnier, this video or the TSA-PSA from two days ago.  I'm so LMAO!

"Why wouldn't you wear that shirt?!!! Do I have to spell it out for you?!!! Why my buddy 'Haghmed' can't wear his 'I'm Da Bomb' shirt to the airport to get on a plane?"

And This Is How Lego Came To Be...

Jedward and Their Superman Undies

Okay.....  This is wrong on so many levels.  The 20-year old former X-factor twins have released a video of themselves in their Superman undies.  For their adoring fans, I'm sure.

First, looking at it has to be a crime. Second, we're now this much (pinching my fingers) closer to seeing the next twin porn stars on blu-ray and dvd.  Jesus Christ!

Shakespearean Insults

Do you want to insult your friends, but don't want to use curse words to do it?  Do you want to talk back to your parents, because you're not getting what you want?  Well, you don't have to wait any longer, you can now use this handy Shakespearean chart to help you insult them.

The next time your friend tells you you've gained a few pounds, tell them you "frothy, flap-mouthed, foot-licker!" and the next time your parents tell you that you can't spend the night at your boyfriend's house, snap back at them and say, "you tottering, motley-minded, hugger-mugger!"

Must Watch - Must Listen: Don't Hold Back, Just Push Things Forward

Let's get our Saturday morning started with a fabulously awesome mashup on YouTube.  

According to it's description, the mashup was put together by a guy named Chris Evans-Roberts, an award winning composer, sound designer and multi-instrumentalist. He has composed music for international companies and scored films that have received critical acclaim at European film festivals. He runs the company Ithaca Audio.  

The tracks used in this video were:

Isaac Hayes - Theme from Shaft
John Williams - The Imperial March
Leftfield - Phat Planet
Chemical Brothers - Galvanized
Sugarhill Gang - Apache (Switch Remix - A bit patchy)
Fatboy Slim - Praise You
Doug Wood Band - Drag Racer (BBC Snooker Theme)
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
The Streets - Push things forward

You Will Always Be Kevin!

He played deranged NYC club kid, Michael Alig in The Party Monster, a wheel chair-bound student in a Conservative Christian high school in Saved, a boy who died from a bee sting in "My Girl," and an evil child in "The Good Son," but no matter how you look at him, in our eyes he will always be Kevin McAllister from Home Alone.

Must Watch: It Getteth Better

Oh M Gee, the Lord, thy God, has created his own "It Gets Better video," and it's absolutely hilarious!

On November 1, Simon & Schuster is publishing THE LAST TESTAMENT: A Memoir by God, co-written with David Javerbaum, the 11-time Emmy Award-winning former head writer and executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and in order to publicize his book, they have released this candid animated promo...

"Look, I created the garden of Eden, does thou really think I would entrust such a high pressure landscaping job to straight people? Use thy head."

"I love all human beings equally, and punish them equally. Gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, thou are all equally smiteful in my eyes"

The First Four Words Apply To You...

Too funny, my first four words were, "Bay," "Sentimental," "Love," and "Passionate."  What are your first four words?

 

I Quote That - Heart and Life

Oh, this is so very true!  Thank you Christopher Maldonado for sharing this wonderful quote.

Quoted: Mark Driscoll - Your Next Mega Church Celebrity Pastor

“Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.” - Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle’s Mars Hill Church.

Damn, I almost feel bad for all the straight men and boys, because if you've done such a horrendous thing, you're gay.  And parents, you better keep a watchful eye on your son's extracurricular activities, you don't want them turning out like you. GAY!

Seriously speaking though...  I'm a Christian and believe in God, but what drives people of faith to listen to this mess?  And to believe it nonetheless.

What a Hot Mess: Have Yourself A Very Merry Biebmas

Seriously?  It's October.  OCTOBER!!!!!  WHAT A HOT MESS!

Justin Bieber has released his first Christmas single, "Under The Mistletoe", and with all the flak they give Lady Gaga, this song sounds eerily familiar to other tracks I've heard before.

But guess what?  You're going to hear this song over the holidays over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and... do I need to go any further?  Might as well start listening to it now.

7 million views on YouTube and it's only been out 3-1/2 days.  Jesus Christ!  Sorry Jesus, It's the Biebs, he's in charge now - everyone idolizes this kid. 

Post Secret Fridays - Issue 080

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.

See More Secrets. Follow PostSecret on Twitter.

On the back of the card: the trouble is i don't think i have the kind of loneliness that other people can cure

-----Email-----
No, you don't. I have all three and feel more alone than ever.

Want to see older Post Secret Friday issues? Go here.

Must Watch: TSA - PSA

The holidays are upon us, and well...  It's a fact, more people are screened and patted down at airports during the holidays than any other time during the year.  And The Transportation Security Administration wants to make sure you're completely satisfied.  They even go as far as to say, "It's our business to touch yours".  LMAO!  this was hilarious, check it out.

The Ugly Bag

Yes, this bag is only for ugly people, and it's heavy duty for extra ugliness.  But please note that in the event that you're super ugly, two bags may be necessary in case one breaks.

Are People Really This Stupid? Issue No. 11 - Lions, Tigers and Bears

By now you've probably read about or heard of the story out of Zanesville, Ohio, where an idiot released 56 exotic animals before he shot himself to death.  

Why he was allowed to own them is beyond me.  Scratch that!  In Ohio you are allowed to own whatever the hell you want.  Are people really this stupid?

I'm going to say yes, and I'm also going to say yes to the idiots (the cops) who killed all 18 Bengal Tigers, of which are rare, with only a few thousand in existence today.  They also shot and killed, 6 bears, several lions, wolves and monkeys.  It was a massacre!

Why didn't law enforcement use tranquilizers?  These animals could have gone to zoos across the nation.  It's a travesty, I'm telling you.

Terry Thompson was recently released from prison for illegal firearm possession, his wife left him, and didn't have the means to continue feeding these creatures.  Supposedly he did this in retaliation of his neighbors and the cops.  I would understand if all the creatures ventured into town and needed to be put down to protect the residents, but as you can see in the picture, most of them were together.

Definitely sadness all around.